Day 11 Of Cat Introduction: Meowing - Advice?

[cheeseburger]

We are on day 11 of trying to introduce our new 1yo female cat to our resident 2yo male cat.

1yo female cat has finally warmed up to the home and her territory and seems pretty happy and confident. She is still sequestered most of the time in a room, but we've been allowing her run of the house when resident cat is napping in the garage during the day.

Resident cat started off super fine with this but has been getting worse over time. He is *obsessed* with new cat's door and spends all of his time staked out in front of it meowing gently at her. Or maybe he's meowing at me to open the door.

We've been doing feedings between a baby gate and they do...okay with these. The new cat hisses once and then seems to ignore resident cat for a half hour afterwards. Resident cat has no problems stress eating right in front of her room but doesn't stop meowing and clearly wants in.

Resident cat also urinated outside of his litter box yesterday for the first time ever. He's been pawing at the floor all over the house non-stop (which is something he usually does if he doesn't like the smell there or if he's going to use the bathroom).

What should we do? How do we calm down resident cat? I have Feliway everywhere. Should I let the door be open with the gate indefinitely? Seeing her seems to calm him down somewhat and stop the meowing slightly.

Alternately, I can gate him in downstairs and try to stop the obsession. But we've tried this and it just starts up again the moment he's free.

What's my next move? Just wait it out?

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi!
I think if you can let them meet, your resident kitty needs it

How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide

You, Your Cat And Stress

Do Cats Get Jealous? (and What To Do About It When They Do)

 

[cheeseburger]

That's my gut instinct too! I think I need to let resident cat and new cat hang out. But everything I've read says that they should both be calm around each other and show no signs of aggression before we allow a joint session of play or disaster could happen, so I'm nervous. And between new cat's hissing and resident cat's incessant meowing I'm not sure we're at 'zero aggression' yet? Maybe I'll try a supervised play session later today and see how it goes.

 

[ArtNJ]

The perfect introduction process is sort of a myth. The last stage is almost always "put them together and let them work their nonsense out".

Just be careful about it, so that you can grab someone if they should want to fight. Doesn't sound too likely from what you've described -- in fact, I think it will go well.

 

[Furballsmom]

Sending you-all good vibes

 

[cheeseburger]

Thanks you guys. I guess it's time to dive in! We will try joint play tonight and I'll report back with how it goes. Both of these cats are street cats and we don't really know if they get along well with others so it's going to be...interesting.

 

[Furballsmom]

 

[war&wisdom]

Let us know how it goes!

 

[cheeseburger]

Okay, well we had a joint 'play' session. I took down the gate and resident cat waltzed right in, super interested in sniffing everything. I had the bird wand and was trying to keep everybody distracted. New cat played and ate treats for a while, but resident cat was refusing to do either, more interested in smelling stuff. Still, body language seemed relatively relaxed.

Then resident cat got within about three feet of new cat and new cat went crazy. Hissing, growling, thrashing tail, aggressive eye contact, hunched posture like she was going to strike. Ears still forward though. I got in between the two of them and made myself annoying with the toy and they didn't attack each other. This led to a stand off where they both sat on opposite sides of the room and stared at each other for about five minutes.

Next resident cat jumped up into new cat's cat tree where new cat sleeps and new cat got *pissed* again. Again, hissing, growling, etc.

I'm honestly surprised new cat is the aggressive one. She's female and much smaller than my resident cat. Perhaps she feels more insecure because of that.

After about twenty minutes of feeling like I was going to be clawed to death at any moment, I scooped up resident cat and removed him, much to his dismay.

I have no idea if this was a success or not and I don't know whether to repeat this. Thoughts?

 

[Furballsmom]

Well, sort of a success, I think no blood is a good thing.
I think you'll need to do this again.
A large piece of cardboard could give you a better sense of security, maybe? which would translate into calmer emotions and that would be better for your new kitty-she is a sponge for your emotions

 

[Hellenww]

Have you done site swapping? If boy has time in her safe space alone it will intermingle his scent with hers. That will put his scent in a place where she gets good things.

This was scary but good start. She said "stay away from me you scary beast." and he said "OK" and left her alone.

 

[cheeseburger]

Furballsmom - thanks for the encouragement!

Hellenww- We have done one site swap before this but it was last week. I stopped doing it because new cat didn't eat or drink for 24 hours after that. But it's probably time to try again. Perhaps starting regular swaps where each cat alternates staying in that room during the day would be a good idea. I just know that resident cat will start howling the second he is confined - it's sort of his 'thing'. He's like a herding dog that is only happy when everybody is in the same room.

Going to try a joint feeding tonight and see how it goes. Wish me luck!

 

[KarenKat]

I would say it was successful! Sure, they didn’t get along but they didn’t fight. Sounds like a lot of warning noises which is good communication.

I don’t recommend picking any cat up in these situations - it can make them feel vulnerable and they might lash out. Furballsmom had a good suggestion of herding using a large piece of cardboard.

Good luck, keep calm and try and be patient. Sounds like it may take a little time to have them get used to each other. Maybe next time try and go outside of new cat’s safe room? She sounds territorial, so expanding her area rather than threatening it might make her calmer?

 

[cheeseburger]

Day 13: We did a joint play session today in a neutral bedroom. It started off okay but ended poorly.

Resident cat stayed on the floor and ate both cat's food. New cat stayed on the bed and batted at a toy. Then resident cat tried to go onto the bed and new cat hissed and growled, so resident cat retreated under the bed. This repeated itself three times.

Then randomly, new cat went under the bed herself with resident cat and they both stared at each other for a while.

Then...sigh...we had a small fight. New cat ran into the bathroom and hid behind the toilet. Resident cat followed and sat on the opposite side of the toilet. New cat hissed and growled, but they ended up just sniffing each other for a few minutes in the hole behind the toilet. I allowed this since they seemed pretty peaceful.

Then out of nowhere, new cat's ears went back, she gave a mighty hiss, and struck resident cat in the face. Resident cat ran away squealing. We corralled new cat using cardboard into her room.

Resident cat does not seem to be damaged, but I'm horrified that he was struck. What do we do now? Do we keep doing these or do we take a step back?

I'm beginning to wonder whether new cat is suited to a two-cat household. We have her on temporary loan from her fosters to see if they get along.

 

[ArtNJ]

I don't consider it a fight unless one lunges at the other and they end up rolling around. Swats are defensive, and from the other description, it totally sounds like both cats are stressed and feeling defensive. That isn't nearly as bad as a fight.

They don't always appear to do, well, anything, but you could try grabbing a feliway diffuser from a pet store. Beyond that, I don't know I'd go backwards because of this. You already did a nice 2 week introduction process, and I doubt you can keep this cat forever on a trial basis. Also, in the final analysis, introduced cats often need to work stuff out on their own. The perfect introduction is often a myth. Give them more time to work things out -- absent a real fight, progress can often be made from this type of starting point. Another poster on this site likes to say if there is no blood, they are progressing. I think that goes a bit too far, but you get the idea.

 

[duncanmac]

When I introduced my two boys, they would "box" quite a bit. Usually nothing came of it and one of them would run away. For just under two weeks, your cats sound like they are doing fine, you sound a little stressed.

The weekend is coming up, so you can do several supervised visits with breaks when one of the cats seems to need it and maybe desensitize them to each other. Don't forget - they are new roommates working things out and will occasionally get on each others' nerves. If they can de-escalate it themselves, by running away or with a swat, that will be better in the end.

I've introduced cats twice so far, and both times it was like A ArtNJ said, there comes a point where you just have to let them work out the finer details themselves. I basically let the cats loose together supervised and then loosely supervised (I was awake and listening) and at some point it "felt" like they could get along overnight without killing each other. And they did. After a few nights together we just left them together during the day while we ran errands and then when we went to work. Was it perfect? No, but it worked.

And about swatting - my original cat once smacked the first new cat so hard it sounded like a face slap. He wound up and everything. No blood, no foul though.

 

[cheeseburger]

Haha, I am definitely a little stressed. This is my first time introducing cats, and while I'm trying to do everything 'by the book', no actual interactions anywhere near resemble what the book says will happen.

It's nice this site takes a more realistic, pragmatic view to introductions. Jackson Galaxy and some of the other behaviorists seem a bit crazed about making sure there is zero hostility/hissing/growling before moving forward and that just doesn't seem realistic given that they are both eating/playing comfortably on either side of a gate but still also hissing etc. But it's got me all keyed up to worry that if they fight now they'll hate each other forever.

It's great to know that a swat is not a dealbreaker and may even be expected. Perhaps next time I won't react to that and just let them sort it out. Thanks for the continued support.

 

[jen]

Swatting, hissing, growling, are all normal cat communication. Even the friendliest of cats who love each other and lived together for years may do these things to tell the other to leave them alone. This is all your cats are doing. Females can be territorial and bitchy. Everything sounds like it is going fine, as in nothing alarming is happening. Just let them be under supervision. I like to use a laser pointer as a distraction to separate them if needed so that I don't get in the middle and end up bitten in the process.

 

[Hellenww]

The only thing I'd add to the encouragement you've already gotten is continue feeding them on either side of the gate so both get their meal. Then have a play session. A cat with a full belly can be calmer than a hungry one.

 

[KarenKat]

When Olive came into our lives and we introduced them Gohan (resident cat #1) would chase her to the safe room everytime she popped her head out of the room. And if she were caught unawares, she would hide under the nearest furniture and growl - no, scream like a panther - to let them no to back off. Over time, the chases grew less and the growls were quieter. Now, if Gohan gets chasey Olive leads him in a merry little chase down the stairs and pops back up as if nothing happened. They are still uncertain with each other (after 11 months!) but there are no more concerns about fights.

Over the integration process, we had a few minor injuries that appeared more accidental or surprised than murderous: a scratch from a chase that abscessed, a chomp to the ear, a face scratch. These weren't super concerning because it was pretty clear that Olive surprised Gohan and Gohan lashed out once and stopped. Even now out second resident cat, Trin, will stalk up to Olive and whack her in the face hard. Not a "nice" interaction, but she runs circles around him and they work it out.

That being said, it is sooooo stressful to go through this as the human. I doubted every next step, I asked my BF soooo many questions that no one had an answer to, I felt guilty for doing this to the resident cats, I felt terrible that Olive couldn't explore unhindered, I felt helpless. I joined a cat forum for advice. I understand the stress you are under, but it is still really early, and it appears no one