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- Jul 2, 2016
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Sorry in advance that this is rather long. I am really confused about the behavior of my two male cats. Sandy is 6 years, and Kai is 4 ½ years. Both are indoors only, and both were neutered when we got them. We got them each when they were about a year old, so they have lived together and in this house for almost 4 years. They have always gotten along very well, and continue to do so. They sleep curled up next to each other, they groom each other, they romp around and play with each other. As far as I can tell, they’ve even worked out a schedule for when each of them gets to use the prime sleeping spots. All is good.
But for quite a while now (easily months, maybe even a year or more—I don’t actually remember when this started), they have a weird evening ritual. At night before bed, I go to the bedroom to read for an hour or so before going to sleep. During this time, my husband stays out in the living room and plays video games for a bit before he comes to bed. Every night during this time, Kai comes in and lays down with me in bed. After 10-15 minutes, Sandy goes and stands in the hall and starts yowling. He sounds very distressed. The first several times he did it, I was really worried. I thought he might be sick or in pain, or maybe he was even getting disoriented in the dark and was scared. If I’d call to him, he’d ignore me, and if I went and brought him into the bedroom, he run right back out into the hall and start yowling again. I had the vet check him over, and he got a clean bill of health. Of course, the yowling got Kai’s attention, and he always went to check it out. I noticed after a few nights that when Kai went into the hall, Sandy would stop yowling and be quiet. Then I’d hear little noises from them that sounded like they were playing, but often I’d hear Sandy making these weird, short, high pitched meows. Eventually, Kai would come back into the bedroom with me, and Sandy would go hang out in the living room with my husband. Neither of us would get up to see exactly what was going on, and when this kept up night after night, we assumed that they had gotten in a routine of Sandy calling Kai to come play for a bit before bed.
Well, a few weeks ago, that changed. The cats kept doing the same thing, but instead of being down the hall, they were right in front of the open bedroom door, so I got to see what’s going on. Apparently, Sandy yowls and rolls round on the floor until Kai comes to him. At that point, Kai bites the back of Sandy’s neck, completely straddles him, and pins him to the floor. Sandy stretches out on his stomach with his head back and eyes mostly closed. Then they stay like that for a solid 2 minutes or so. It is during this time that Sandy makes the weird, high pitched meows. After a couple minutes, Sandy will quickly roll onto his back, Kai will let go, and then they both walk off, Kai to the bedroom, and Sandy to the living room. I told my husband what I saw, and he thought I was joking. We’ve both tried to watch them over the past few weeks when they do their “bedtime routine”. They won’t do it if we are very obviously watching, but both of us have seen them quite a few times, and it’s always the same. (Though a couple of times, this interaction has led into a play session before they go their separate ways.) So my question is, what is this behavior?
I know dominate cats will sometimes bite a submissive one and pin them down for a minute to show their dominance, but the bottom cat usually doesn’t seem to enjoy it and squirms a lot and tries to get away or fight back. Nothing in their behavior otherwise suggests Kai is dominant, unless there are some very subtle cues that I am missing. But I find it odd that Sandy would initiate an interaction like that. Taken all together, it almost seems like they are mating, and Sandy’s acting like a female in heat. However, the rescue groups we got them from assured us they are both male and both neutered, and this has been confirmed by our vet. Plus, Sandy will occasionally lick his hind area until he gets an erection, and he VERY obviously a male, so I’m still thinking this could be a dominance display of some kind. I just find it so weird that Sandy would initiate it. A couple of friends have suggested we get a female cat to see what happens, but we are DEFINITELY not going to do that. I’m planning to ask my vet when I take them in for the annual exams, but they are not due until April. In the meantime, I’d still like to see if anyone knows what’s going on. Thanks!
But for quite a while now (easily months, maybe even a year or more—I don’t actually remember when this started), they have a weird evening ritual. At night before bed, I go to the bedroom to read for an hour or so before going to sleep. During this time, my husband stays out in the living room and plays video games for a bit before he comes to bed. Every night during this time, Kai comes in and lays down with me in bed. After 10-15 minutes, Sandy goes and stands in the hall and starts yowling. He sounds very distressed. The first several times he did it, I was really worried. I thought he might be sick or in pain, or maybe he was even getting disoriented in the dark and was scared. If I’d call to him, he’d ignore me, and if I went and brought him into the bedroom, he run right back out into the hall and start yowling again. I had the vet check him over, and he got a clean bill of health. Of course, the yowling got Kai’s attention, and he always went to check it out. I noticed after a few nights that when Kai went into the hall, Sandy would stop yowling and be quiet. Then I’d hear little noises from them that sounded like they were playing, but often I’d hear Sandy making these weird, short, high pitched meows. Eventually, Kai would come back into the bedroom with me, and Sandy would go hang out in the living room with my husband. Neither of us would get up to see exactly what was going on, and when this kept up night after night, we assumed that they had gotten in a routine of Sandy calling Kai to come play for a bit before bed.
Well, a few weeks ago, that changed. The cats kept doing the same thing, but instead of being down the hall, they were right in front of the open bedroom door, so I got to see what’s going on. Apparently, Sandy yowls and rolls round on the floor until Kai comes to him. At that point, Kai bites the back of Sandy’s neck, completely straddles him, and pins him to the floor. Sandy stretches out on his stomach with his head back and eyes mostly closed. Then they stay like that for a solid 2 minutes or so. It is during this time that Sandy makes the weird, high pitched meows. After a couple minutes, Sandy will quickly roll onto his back, Kai will let go, and then they both walk off, Kai to the bedroom, and Sandy to the living room. I told my husband what I saw, and he thought I was joking. We’ve both tried to watch them over the past few weeks when they do their “bedtime routine”. They won’t do it if we are very obviously watching, but both of us have seen them quite a few times, and it’s always the same. (Though a couple of times, this interaction has led into a play session before they go their separate ways.) So my question is, what is this behavior?
I know dominate cats will sometimes bite a submissive one and pin them down for a minute to show their dominance, but the bottom cat usually doesn’t seem to enjoy it and squirms a lot and tries to get away or fight back. Nothing in their behavior otherwise suggests Kai is dominant, unless there are some very subtle cues that I am missing. But I find it odd that Sandy would initiate an interaction like that. Taken all together, it almost seems like they are mating, and Sandy’s acting like a female in heat. However, the rescue groups we got them from assured us they are both male and both neutered, and this has been confirmed by our vet. Plus, Sandy will occasionally lick his hind area until he gets an erection, and he VERY obviously a male, so I’m still thinking this could be a dominance display of some kind. I just find it so weird that Sandy would initiate it. A couple of friends have suggested we get a female cat to see what happens, but we are DEFINITELY not going to do that. I’m planning to ask my vet when I take them in for the annual exams, but they are not due until April. In the meantime, I’d still like to see if anyone knows what’s going on. Thanks!
