Leto86- my heart goes out to you. I know it must be difficult for you.
But Ive just seen your gorgeous sig...all those lovely cats.
Im hoping that with their love, including Cuddles, and with the support of your family both at home and on TCS (e.g. us!), the distress of what you have had to go through will ease.
You should pat yourself on the back for being such a caring meowmy.
I am so sorry,I too went through the same thing last year,The baby was not deformed,It was very week and not latching,I had a suppulment,I kept it alive for 7 days then it died in my arms.