Cricket And Austin - Is This Progress?

[misty8723]

I just went upstairs to feed Austin, and when I was coming out of the room I saw Cricket sitting on the other side of the door (not real close). So I took the opportunity to crack the door a bit and let them see each other. Austin was like oh I can come out now! But Cricket's tail was very fat and she backed up a bit. They just looked at each other (no growling or hissing) until Austin got bored I guess and walked away. When I opened the door to come out, Cricket's tail got even fatter and she ran down to the top step. I'm not sure if she growled or not, thought I heard something but not sure. After I went into the bathroom across the hall and just observed, she came back up (tail not fat) and started at the door for a bit. Then she walked away, came down here, and she's lounging in her tree.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. IMO, it sounds like progress to me!!! She sounds curious, but leery. Not sure what to think of Austin - guess he wasn't interested enough in 'being free' to get into a possible confrontation!!

Why oh why does it have to take so long with some of these kitties to get used to on another????? Bless you - keep at it!!

 

[misty8723]

She just was in the bedroom where he spent the day (he's in his bathroom sanctuary now) sniffing everything.

Oh, I think he would have come out if I had let him, and I don't think it would have been a confrontation. I think Cricket would have run back downstairs in a New York minute.

It was so easy introducing cats to Swanie. Hi! I'm Swanie, who are you? Welcome to the house! I miss that boy so much.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Every cat one has ends up holding a special place in one's heart. You know what Swanie's was. Cricket and Austin will too - just don't know what that is yet! But, you will!

 

[misty8723]

We have a baby gate up. Cricket is hissing and growling. Hopefully they will work it out.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Oh boy! What is Austin doing when Cricket is hissing and growling??

 

[misty8723]

Most of the time just sitting there looking at her. He hissed once, after she hissed a dozen or so times. He didn't seem to want to engage in a stare down either. I have been told he is a more submissive cat and not trying to be dominant, so I'm hoping Cricket will see that she will still be top cat and accept him. My previous vet (who moved away, but I'm still in contact with on fb) suggested trying Composure on Cricket, so I'm going down to get some in a bit. I'm thinking she just needs time to adjust - it's only been a week.

 

[Kflowers]

sounds like progress to me. hissing and growling is just working out their relationship.

 

[misty8723]

Unfortunately, after that incident, she has been downstairs ignoring him. And DH is back to threatening to bring Austin out and plop him on the couch. He is upset because Austin is in "prison."

 

[Kflowers]

Ignoring is progress. I was and am fond of ignoring. Seriously.

 

[misty8723]

I just don't know what will happen if DH has his way and lets him out. I would also like her to get to know him and work things out so we CAN let him out. Don't know how that will happen if she is down here ignoring him and he is upstairs in the bedroom. I never had this much trouble introducing any cat to Swanie, he was such a sweet boy and loved them all.

 

[Kflowers]

Ignoring is a cats way of saying, 'this where I am is my turf, that, where you are is your turf." Ignoring is a way of showing respect. Cats claim turf not just by the ground, but by the time of day. The sofa can belong to him during the morning and her during the afternoon.

Put at least a yard between their bowls. Let them take their time to chum up. Ignoring is a part of making friends in cat world. Some skip it, but it's not a bad thing.

IF you rush them by putting them in the same room, they may well just sit back to back. That's good.

If you force them face to face, nose to nose, you'll probably have a little explosion and be back to square minus 8. If DH doesn't get it ask him to tell you about when he was in elementary school and was making friends as the new guy, or with the new guy, or his first best friend. Most kids take their time, scope each other out, then find something to do together (with cats it's usually eating, little boys it's playing.) Ask him what he did when his mom forced him to play with someone he didn't know.

 

[misty8723]

Yeah. I'm sure he conveniently don't remember. I do. I remember when my mother made me play with one of the neighbor girls. I never liked her, she was a bully, we never got along.

I wish Cricket was motivated by food.

 

[Kflowers]

I'll bet his sibling remembers.

Cricket doesn't have to be motivated by food and I totally understand that one, actually, it's better if she isn't. All she needs to do is just willing to eat dinner in the same room with Austin.

 

[misty8723]

Will work on that one

 

[Kflowers]

Be patient, it's a huge thing in cat world. Others find it helpful to put hiding places near the new one's bowl, or rather put the bowl by a hiding place. A footstool is handy.

You and your guys are doing well, really.