could use help understanding feral/stray cat behavior

[proboscis]

Hi all, could use some help with a feral/stray cat please. Backstory for context. We adopted 7-month old cat #1 in 2014, and we thought he was lonely so we adopted 2-year old cat #2 in 2015. Cat #1 is a bully so that didn't work out too well. But, they can tolerate each other at least.

Now, we adopted 9-year old cat #3 in 2021. She's been outside her whole life. She is also cat #2's sister, that's why we adopted her. All the cats are fixed.

We keep cats 1 & 2 away from 3, we have a pocket door in our place, so #3 stays upstairs. We we first got her, she would hide under a bookshelf, and eventually she moved under the bed in our spare bedroom. She comes out and stares at us when we're upstairs, it's cute. She also plays with the toys every night, we can hear it. But it's been almost a year and we feel so bad cause she's alone most of the time. We're wondering if anyone has any experience with this, how long it might take for her to come out of her shell? 2 years? 5? never? I understand she's probably never had human affection so it might take quite some time. Thanks!

 

[maggie101]

They are all different. Some take longer than others. It is understandable that a 9 year old cat from outside will take time. This is Cocos story:

I took care of a sweet loving stray outside. One day she was very excited about something. She kept rubbing against me and meowing. Then, 2 kittens popped out from the bushes. A few days later I could tell the mama cat was very upset about something. Someone had taken one of her kittens-CoCo. The brother got adopted and a rescue took the mama cat and her second litter of 4. A year later CoCo showed up on my porch 1 yr old. Soon after, she had a litter of 5 that were adopted. A friend helped me get TNR done on her and her bff, a male cat. She was outside for 2 yrs.A neighbor took the male cat and left CoCo alone. A few days later I took her in by grabbing by the scruff of the neck then she immediately started purring. First 3 months she lived under my couch. Now she will not leave my bedroom. I have had her a over a yr. I can see why some shelters do not want kittens adopted til they're 12 weeks old. CoCo does not defend herself when my cats hiss and growl at her. She does not hiss back or stand on her haunches. No reaction at all. Just quivers her tail and hides. I even took her to the vet to have her eyes and ears checked. She is fine. When I go to bed she rubs against my face and wraps her body around my neck. Then she kneads her paws and purrs for a long time. CoCo will eat next to my cats in my kitchen then back to the bedroom. Could be she does not know how to defend herself so she goes where she feel safe.. Hopefully by 2019 she will leave my bedroom on her own.

She no longer stays in my bedroom and sleep on the couch that Maggie's on. Still scared of her. Coco and Peaches play together. She will chase her!

I am in a 0ne bedroom apartment

 

[maggie101]

Can you bring her down stairs? If she is afraid of you crouch down at her level.even crawl. Does she liked to be brushed? Most cats are very sociable except your cats have been with you a long time and have thier own territory. Maggie is very territorial. Peaches and CoCo are very sociable

 

[proboscis]

Hi Maggie, we're gonna bring her food bowls to the bottom of the steps, let's see if that helps. We can't brush her, we still can't even get near her. I'll try getting on the floor too. Thanks for the help!

 

[fionasmom]

You are very kind to have helped all these cats. The last in, 9 year old, may be living a very happy life. She has her room, toys, food, and safety. If she is not acting as if she wants back out, that is another clue that she may be happy with these new surroundings. She may or may not transition much further than this. While I realize that this presents some issues, such as handling her, don't feel guilty that she is living this way. It is far preferable to the street.

I have an indoor only cat, Eve, who was brought inside at about 8 weeks old, who has never become any more socialized than your cat. Technically, at that age, along with having brought in with two of her brothers, she should have made an easy transition.

About 4 weeks ago I rescued a 5 year old TNRed feral from a dangerous situation. I did not plan on bringing another cat inside, but there was an attempt on her life and the person who saved her asked me to get her off the street. At first, she was in a bathroom as her safe room. Given that my cats have at least tolerated her, and vice versa, the bathroom door is now open, as are all the other interior doors. However, for at least 8 hours a day she stays in her "base camp" in her bed voluntarily. She moves around at night and in the early morning at which time she actually runs up and down the hallways, then returns to her "home" for the rest of the day.

10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat – TheCatSite Articles
14 Cat Experts Reveal: How To Get A Cat To Like Me – TheCatSite Articles

You aren't novice cat owners, but maybe there is a suggestion in the above articles that might help.

Does the sister cat have any relationship with the newcomer? Sometimes, if a cat sees one cat being friendly to people, it will get the notion that people are okay to trust. It is like one cat runs interference or acts as a sentinel for the other cat. Jackson Galaxy has a name for this which escapes me.

 

[maggie101]

Hi Maggie, we're gonna bring her food bowls to the bottom of the steps, let's see if that helps. We can't brush her, we still can't even get near her. I'll try getting on the floor too. Thanks for the help!

I got Coco to come closer and closer because every day I would inch her bowl closer to the kitchen. I even put my hand on the bowl so she could feel me. It's been 6 years! She still hasn't hissed or growled and is still afraid of maggie

 

[proboscis]

You are very kind to have helped all these cats. The last in, 9 year old, may be living a very happy life. She has her room, toys, food, and safety. If she is not acting as if she wants back out, that is another clue that she may be happy with these new surroundings. She may or may not transition much further than this. While I realize that this presents some issues, such as handling her, don't feel guilty that she is living this way. It is far preferable to the street.

I have an indoor only cat, Eve, who was brought inside at about 8 weeks old, who has never become any more socialized than your cat. Technically, at that age, along with having brought in with two of her brothers, she should have made an easy transition.

About 4 weeks ago I rescued a 5 year old TNRed feral from a dangerous situation. I did not plan on bringing another cat inside, but there was an attempt on her life and the person who saved her asked me to get her off the street. At first, she was in a bathroom as her safe room. Given that my cats have at least tolerated her, and vice versa, the bathroom door is now open, as are all the other interior doors. However, for at least 8 hours a day she stays in her "base camp" in her bed voluntarily. She moves around at night and in the early morning at which time she actually runs up and down the hallways, then returns to her "home" for the rest of the day.

10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat – TheCatSite Articles
14 Cat Experts Reveal: How To Get A Cat To Like Me – TheCatSite Articles

You aren't novice cat owners, but maybe there is a suggestion in the above articles that might help.

Does the sister cat have any relationship with the newcomer? Sometimes, if a cat sees one cat being friendly to people, it will get the notion that people are okay to trust. It is like one cat runs interference or acts as a sentinel for the other cat. Jackson Galaxy has a name for this which escapes me.

Thanks so much for the kind words! It's amazing, you have described the situation perfectly lol. Unfortunately, it seems like cat #2 is terrified of her sister. She used to sleep in our bed at night, now she won't even come up. When she sees her, she chases her away. I'm almost thinking like cat #1 bullied #2 so much that now she's like "I'm not gonna be bullied again". Such a shame. Thanks again!

 

[fionasmom]

That is also a possibility. If you are content to let her live on her own terms, she may be quite happy ( repeating myself) and is safe. Don't feel guilty about her seeming choice or think that you need to provide more of a life for her. You have done a lot to help her.

 

[proboscis]

Sorry, I missed this last post, fionasmom Thanks again!