Conversations that could only happen in a cat household

[courtney_ou]

Originally Posted by Pami

Really!! Just this morning I was at the kitchen island sitting across from my niece and nephew. Kiko decides my face could use his butt in it

hahaha that made me think of this:

both kitties put their butts in our faces when we're online. i always say "sniff sniff your butt smells delightful now get it out of my face." and they do

but mom never says anything except "get your butt out of my face i cant see" but they dont budge. she always asks why the cats move for me but not her and i tell her she has to tell them their butts smell delightful

only in a cat-occupied house do you hear "IM NOT TELLING THE CATS THEIR BUTTS SMELL DELIGHTFUL!!"

 

[marjan]

on the way to the toilet..

Don, I don't need your company for this..

 

[pami]

Originally Posted by courtney_ou

hahaha that made me think of this:

both kitties put their butts in our faces when we're online. i always say "sniff sniff your butt smells delightful now get it out of my face." and they do

but mom never says anything except "get your butt out of my face i cant see" but they dont budge. she always asks why the cats move for me but not her and i tell her she has to tell them their butts smell delightful

only in a cat-occupied house do you hear "IM NOT TELLING THE CATS THEIR BUTTS SMELL DELIGHTFUL!!"

thats cute!!

I tell my family each cat has to hear a certain thing before they will do something someone wants them to. Be it, getting their butts out of our faces or coming to them when they call or anything else by "command"

You have to call Laura sexy.
You have to tell Tino is a big meano with a big Beano.
You have to call Easy and angel.
You have to call Ducky doo doo.
and all you have to do to Kiko is give him googly eyes.

Then sit back and watch them, as needed, use those "commands" with no results

 

[marjan]

Which of you guys took out the "F3" button from my keyboard?

 

[clumsy kitty]

Yep I'm with marjan on this one. Usually 'No Oscar, I don't need your help with this email...' - usually a split second AFTER he's managed to send the damn thing, so the recipient just gets an incoherent drawl, 'jgiolrj iognudf9-0956igj /:'#?~?#.'

Once, he decided to stroll across my laptop, as he does so regularly. But one day he pressed a combination that made the desktop turn upside down

I didn't know how to turn it back! I had to put a Q up on a website, typing with the laptop help upside down, and they gave me the key combination to get it the right way.
That's not to mention the time he walsed across the keypad and typed 'mog' (I kid you not, he's a kitty genius!).

 

[momofmany]

I had to explain to work one time that "my cat ate my homework". I was working from home and left my laptop to use the bathroom. I normally close the lid and forgot to this one time. Stumpy laid across the keyboard and managed to delete a folder containing 4 years of work and about 50 meg of data. Guess what - you can't recover that much data that is deleted. The tech guys asked me a dozen times what happened and all I could say was "my cat ate my homework".

 

[cata_mint]

Originally Posted by clumsy kitty

Yep I'm with marjan on this one. Usually 'No Oscar, I don't need your help with this email...' - usually a split second AFTER he's managed to send the damn thing, so the recipient just gets an incoherent drawl, 'jgiolrj iognudf9-0956igj /:'#?~?#.'

Once, he decided to stroll across my laptop, as he does so regularly. But one day he pressed a combination that made the desktop turn upside down

I didn't know how to turn it back! I had to put a Q up on a website, typing with the laptop help upside down, and they gave me the key combination to get it the right way.
That's not to mention the time he walsed across the keypad and typed 'mog' (I kid you not, he's a kitty genius!).

Oh! Something similar happened to me. My dad accidentally unplugged the computer while it was still on, and he couldn't find any of our saved documents or files anymore. Tilly casually strolls across the keyboard - and magic! It all comes back! We still don't know how she did it.
I've learned all my keyboard shortcuts from my cats.

 

[courtney_ou]

LOL patchy always types /? but only in the yahoo search bar (i have 3 search bars) and she always manages to put my bottom menu thingy with the time and the start menu (yall know what im talking about) to the left of my screen and i have NO idea how to get it back. i just push buttons til it comes back or til she puts it back at the bottom of my screen.
she also makes my screen go full screen (all my menus, search engines, etc) are gone at the top. that one i knew how to get back but mom panicked LOL


when chloe was a kitten and she felt she needed attention, she would lay in my lap and put her paw on my touchpad of my laptop so couldnt do ANYTHING except play with her. very smart kitty

when patchy feels ignored, she goes and pushes the power button on the surge protector where EVERYTHING on the computer is plugged in and then she meows really loud like shes proud of what shes done. i think she is!
ive lost a lot of research pprs that way. she also likes to push the number lock key so i cant type. it always takes me a few minutes to figure that one out lol

 

[sophiec]

I just have to say....this thread is hilarious!!!!!

 

[rang_27]

Ok, I just thought of another one.

Only in a cat house can "OK" mean everyone run for the kitchen she's going to feed us.

Here's the scene, every night....

Me sitting on the couch watching TV.
Isaac on the arm of the couch rubbing his head on me.
Maggie on the floor meowing at me.
Levi on the other end of the couch meowing at me.
Jordan giving me that stare that only an alpha cat can give (basicly the look means if you don't get up & feed me right now you will be sorry later)
So I finally give in,

I Say "OK" and they all run to the kitchen. Who knew 2 little letters could mean so much.

 

[creativgirl]

A little backstory first: Karen decided to foster *one* adult cat; her cat PJ had crossed the Bridge a few years before and she finally felt ready to take on another cat. Her local shelter gave her a pregnant female and then kept sending orphaned kittens over to nurse with the original cat's six kittens. At one point Karen had 14 kittens and one mama cat -- she ended up keeping eight of the kittens.

And now the message:

From: Karen
To: Meg
Subject: I just want to sleep . . .

12:30 am. Hear a loud THUD at the foot of the stairs. Go downstairs to investigate and find that the cats have knocked down the 6 1/2 foot cat tree. Set it back upright and go back to bed.

1:00 am. Sounds like a herd of cattle on the stairs. Go to check it out -- the kittens are racing up and down the stairs but everything looks OK.

1:30 am. THUNK. . .THUNK. . .THUNK. Bandit took the stopper out of the sink . . . AGAIN. (Bandit has a habit of sending random things down the bathroom sink drain). All the toothbrushes, hair stuff, etc. . . gone.

Life is never dull with eight cats, all less than a year old!

 

[KittenKrazy]

OMG, if I'd known this thread was going to be this funny, I never would have opened it tonight.....I've laughed until I'm crying and the teeth I had surgery on Thursday are killing me.....but oh so worth it!

Gaye......I can only imagine what that poor lady on the other end of your phone thought.....

some convo's around here......

Ok, so move over so I can feed you....come on, move your feet so mommy can get her feet close enough to the dishes to feed you (every dratted time, mind you!)

Tiger, I have been using the potty alone for many years now, I really don't need supervision!

I know there are others...will have to think!

But as an aside to the grocery store discussion.....we buy canned food sometimes from the same store that we get groceries for the bakery.....if I ever get a new checkout lady and she says something about it, I always tell them that it makes good meatloaf.....one actually believed me until she looked me in the eye and I died laughing!

 

[algebrapro18]

One I seem to be having a lot lately...

Tomnus your only about 8 pounds how do you take up this much room in bed...and give me some blankets I'm freezing my *** off over here.

He is a bed and kind of a blanket hog. He sleeps on top of them and thats the problem...with him laying on top of the blankets its hard with out moving him to get more blanket on me.

This is one that happened last night...not as funny though.

My Girlfriend(while on a video call with me): Hey Tomnus look over here
Tomnus: *looks everywhere but the screen*
Me: Guess he doesn't want to talk right now...
My Girlfriend:*goes to get a teddy bear and then holds it in front of the web cam* Hey Tomnus look here
Tomnus: *stairs intently at the bear and even starts to purr a little*
Me: Fine Tom make a lier out of me
Girlfriend: *puts the bear down* Hey Tomnus
Tomnus: *Looks at the ceiling and stops purring*
Me: *laughs* Apparently I was right <---- BIG MISTAKE
Girlfriend:*Spends the next hour crying* He doesn't like me, I must be a bad person
Me: *Spends the next hour trying to calm her down so I can go to bed* No no no...he likes you he is just being difficult.

 

[gemlady]

When I read the Garfield cartoon for Sunday, April 27, 2008 I thought of this thread.
http://www.garfield.com/comics/comic...?2008-ga080427

 

[rang_27]

Here's another one I'm famous for saying ...

"I don't eat your food, so please get your nose out of my plate."

 

[roxsam]

lol, this thread is too funny...

well my cat prefers to drink my cup of cold, fresh water instead of her bowl so...after I fill my cup up for me...

Me: Ugh, I am so thirsty!
DH: so drink your water!
Me: no, Roxy is drinking it right now!
DH: well push her out of the way so you can drink YOUR water
Me: no way, I'll let her finish drinking first...
DH: [rolls eyes]

 

[smiffygans]

Originally Posted by courtney_ou

just because im eating THIS end of my sandwich DOES NOT give you permission to eat the other end, patches.

what happened to the meat in my sandwich? (see previous statement LOL)

Skittles is the worst about climbing right up into my lap and taking a bite off of the other end of whatever I am eating.

Me: Skittles!!! You're going to ruin your figure if you keep eating Mommy's sammie. Go eat YOUR food. (which is low cal because she's getting a tad round)
Skittles: *Gives kitty eyes*
Me: Okay....one more bite wouldn't hurt you THAT much, but really..

Originally Posted by Momofmany

And how many of us have said:
Get your butt out of my face!!

Or in the middle of the night:
Thank you for stepping on my bladder.

This would definitely be me. My Peekers ways quite a bit and he always uses my bladder for a spring board, sometimes I think he knows when I have to pee because that's usually when he does it. *shakes head*




Me: Peeki, you can't have Mommy's rings, they aren't toys.

Me: Why are you sleeping on the couch?
Sarah (my girlfriend): Because Peekaboo won't move over.
Me: Why didn't you move him?
Sarah: Because.....he gave me the look.
Me: Ah. *nod*

Peekaboo always gives her this evil, angry look if she tries to move him away from me, and he always stretches across her spot if she gets up at night. It's pretty funny.

My Boss: One of your kids have been chewing your papers again.
Me: Oh...sorry.
My Boss: And you're covered in hair.
Me: *glances at black pants* Oh yeah...this morning...
My Boss: Peekaboo?
Me: Peekaboo.

And this happened about a year ago now.
My Boss: Your bag is meowing.
Me: It is? I wonder....*looks in bag, discovers Binkie (which was a little kitten I was fostering at the time)* Uh-oh...
My Boss: You'd better take your lunch break now.*shakes head*
Me: Yeah, I guess so.
My Boss: *laughing too hard to really make much sense* And give the kid a talking to.
Me: Oh, you can count on that. *gives kitten the look*

 

[save_adopt]

hahaha awsome boss you have!

boyfriend: this room smells awful
me: im sorry ive been trying really hard to keep their box clean
boyfriend: its not the poo that bothers me its the litter itself

 

[rang_27]

Another one I discovered this morning....

OK, Jordan you need to get off the toliet mommy needs to go potty.

 

[gayef]

Last night in our home, I was talking on my cell phone to my handler (work-related) about some rather important and IMO unpleasant matters coming up in the way I do things in and for my job. Why is it that all of my funnys with the cats seem to happen while I am on the phone? Does that say something about how much time I spend on the phone? Hrmmm ... added to the lengthy list of all the other things to explore whilst I am exploring such things. *grin*

Anyway, after about the bajillionth time George dropped his rat toy (he is totally addicted to this toy - he carts it around with him everywhere he goes, he sleeps with it, it is always right next to the food bowls as he eats and he frequently lifts his head out of the bowl to make sure it is still there, sometimes even gently touching it with his paw, he talks to it ... if you see George, Rat is always somewhere very close by!) down from the loft upon my head, I said ... "GEORGE!! PUHLEEEEEEZE quit dropping that nasty old rat down on my head!"

My handler immediately returned with, "Ewwwwww! If you can handle THAT then I am sure these new changes will be a piece of cake for you! So, you'll sign the consent and waiver, no???"