Confused

[catmom2wires]

Tuesday I donated some of my deceased cats’ beds to the local animal shelter. They were well used, but still warm and usable, and it felt right to donate them.

While there, I walked through the cat room. I heard a meow and looked down, and saw this handsome guy.

His shelter name is “Fabio.” He is a young intact male, who was a stray. He is calm, loving, and extremely interested in humans.

I asked to hold him and was left alone with him. I snuggled him around my neck and he purred as my tears rained down on him. Oh, the feeling of a young healthy cat was incredible. After a few minutes I got down to business and checked him out. He allowed me to look in his mouth, handle his feet and claws, and even rub his belly.

The shelter director came in and stated that he is special. Yes, I could tell. She talked to me a while and I told her the stories of my three losses the last 8 months. She cried with me. I then watched the kitty as he walked around the cat room, totally at ease.

My feelings caught up with me, and all the sadness of my losses came crashing down again. Am I really ready to do this again? Will I live with regret if I don’t do this? I am just so confused.

In the two days since, he (whom I have renamed in my mind), has been on my mind a lot. I have showed his photos to my husband and daughter. Both seem neutral about it. It is all on me. And I can’t pull the trigger…yet.

Any wise words of advice?

 

[FeebysOwner]

Go with your gut. Not exactly the same but the very same day we lost Tawny to FIP, a 6 mo kitten showed up in our backyard. My plan was to be 'catless' for a while - until Gracie showed up. I have never forgotten or stopped loving Tawny but had 12 wonderful years with Gracie and feel I would have regretted it if I hadn't let her adopt me. I am going to believe there was a reason for it working out the way it did.

To each his own...and if you follow your gut, you can't go wrong.

 

[Silver Crazy]

Grab him, he sounds like he will joy to have and refill your heart again.
I am sure our deceased ones send a new friend our way..happened in 2 days for me.

 

[neely]

I've always said I need time to grieve and have waited before adopting a new cat, that is until our last cat passed. Two weeks later I met Carleton and have never looked back or regretted a single day.

Everyone is different and you know yourself best BUT if you're asking whether or not to bring Fabio into your life I'd say go for it. The fact that you've thought about a new name for him and he's been on your mind a lot tells me he will fill the void you are feeling from the loss of your three cats. However, if you're not ready then it's not the right time for you. Either way trust your heart. And please let us know what you decide.

 

[Margot Lane]

Ohhhh…you’ve renamed him? Look at those eyes. Another way to think on it: if someone else grabs him, will you regret it? And he spoke to you, too.

 

[catmom2wires]

Well, I am following up finally. I have been wrangling with my feelings for an entire week. Finally, today I felt like the kitty deserved at least one more look, and I went to the shelter with a carrier in the car.

When I looked in the room, he was gone. I asked about him, and the director said a family had fostered him last week as a trial and had finalized the adoption yesterday. She asked if I would like to see photos and when I nodded she pulled up a bunch that the family had sent. There he was playing, being cute and even sleeping alongside a little boy in bed.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t shed a few tears. However, mixed with the disappointment is also a great deal of relief. I don’t have to confront my concerns about whether I am truly ready for a new kitty and all the “things” that come with one.

And, just in case, I left my name and number at the shelter with instructions to call me if this new family doesn’t work out. I would be very, very surprised if they ever call. He looked extremely happy and extremely loved, just like all kitties should be.

Thanks for listening,

C

 

[CindyH66]

oh, dear ..what an emotional roller coaster you have been on !! You did the all the right things .. and it sounds like the little man is where he should be, after all. when your heart has had some time to grieve your loss , some fortunate kitty will find itself in a wonderful home. there is always a need ! My story ( which I have posted before , so forgive my repeating myself ..those who know it !) similar; My baby Bella died suddenly from a blood clot. We had her 14 yrs. I was so broken hearted, as was my hubby. My husband asked if we could get a new kitty . He is home 24 hrs day ( disabled from stroke ) and missed her companionship the most !! I gave in ( reluctantly) and long story short only 3 weeks after her passing ,we brought home Peanut. we learned we could grieve Bella and fall in love with Peanut at the same time . we have had Peanut 9 months now and she is our angel !! whoda thunk it ?

 

[catmom2wires]

Thanks Cindy,

Yes, there is always a need. I will know if/when it is right.

In my case, I am the one who is home all the time with many hours to fill. My husband and daughter both work, and neither one of them really want another cat. That is where my hesitation came in on this. I had/have to be ready to take on everything myself. Yes, I know they would have accepted/loved him too, but it makes me happy to know he is FULLY wanted and loved by a whole family.

 

[Margot Lane]

Oh I KNOW how you feel! A lil kitty showed up in my laundry room, all loud mouthed and wanting LOVE, NOW. I named him Little Spats Mahoney Junior and it was a very hard ride indeed to the animal adoption place, but, he was snapped up the very next day by a loving family. My Zorro wouldn’t have stood for it, and in any case he has too many medical needs. But I know that “twingy” feeling.
I am sure there will be a right magical moment for you.

 

[Maria Bayote]

What's meant to be is meant to be. If "Fabio" is happy with his new family then at least your mind will be at rest and will stop worrying about him. Who knows there is this one (or 2) cats just waiting for you to be emotionally ready. Just hang in there.


I am sincerely sorry for your losses. I just lost one of mine and I know the feeling. The raw pain at times cuts into you and you will just find yourself crying alone. But, we have TCS and anytime you can talk to anyone of us.

Here's sending you all the happy and healing vibes.

 

[neely]

When I looked in the room, he was gone. I asked about him, and the director said a family had fostered him last week as a trial and had finalized the adoption yesterday.

Thank you for coming back and giving us an update albeit a difficult one for you. I've always felt that fate plays a hand to a certain degree and as others have said maybe it wasn't meant to be just yet. Since you mentioned your husband and daughter do not really want another cat and the responsibility would fall on you give yourself some time to grieve the loss of your kitty. If your circumstances change I believe fate will step in and find you. Sending special thoughts and lots of hugs to you.