So I got my male kitten, who at first I thought and was told he was female, but later found out he was male. I named him Athena at first and changed it to Azure. The reason I decided to get a kitten was because a have a friend and he owns four cats. All of them are so friendly and love being touched. I never like cats because I thought they didn’t care about you, manipulated you, and didn’t like affection. However his cats loved affection. So after a lot of thinking a decided to get a kitten. I chose kitten over adult because I wanted a strong bond with it. I thought this applied to cats because I always gete up with dogs. Correct me if I’m wrong. He is now 6 months and I got when when he was 1 month. He is still not neutered but I am going to very soon. When my brother found him being sold he was hissing at him even at one month. When I got him home, he was so nice. He loved me very much, ran to me when I came home, and purred with and slept with me all day. Then one day he seemed like he hated me. This happened about 2 weeks later. He doesn’t like to be pet if he’s not purring, only sometimes but very rarely. He purrs around once a day. Sometimes he comes up purring for 5 seconds and others he cuddles me but I can’t cuddle him or else he’ll get uncomfortable and run away. I can pet him most of the time when purring. He purrs a lot when I feed him, doesn’t growl when I pet him while he’s eating, but when I first got him it was really bad when I touched him. He plays really really intense and if I make eye contact with him while he’s playing, he’ll take whatever he has in his mouth, make a weird sound with his voice, and run away as if he’s scared and play with it away from me. He always plays really crazy like he’s trying to kill something. He licks a lot, and is pretty skidding most of the time. Sometimes he’s really cool but mostly he’s not. He is in my room a lot because of certain circumstances that will change but he doesn’t explore the house a good amount or as much as possible. My friend says he was probably abused at an early age but I don’t know. A lot of people say neutering will change him, but I’m not getting a very clear or straight forward answer anywhere I look. Will neutering make him more affectionate, to where I can give him a lil scratch when I’m going somewhere without him running away when I reach out. I’ve tried to train him with treats but it seems like he doesn’t really learn. Also, is this kitten behavior and he will change as he gets older? If so how much older, about a year or an old get? I’m not going to lie, I really wanted a very affectionate and loving cat, preferably female cause I didn’t want any early dominance issues or anything. At the shelter I went to they had a beautiful grey orange eyed femal kitten that sat in a bed in a corner of a big room with cats and food for all of them. She was 6 months and her brother was too. Her brother acted a lot like azure, and I didn’t really feel any connection or sense of affection from him, but his sister I thought was the right one I wanted her a lot. She loved being touched and purred a little when I touched her. But she had to stay in the shelter for a month or two, so for some reason, we got Azure. As of now I don’t want to lie to myself, I regret getting Azure and wish I got the female kitten. I don’t ant a very affectionate cat like my friends cats. Should I keep faith, and it will change after I neuter it or after it matures, or is this cat going to be a non affectionate cat? I do a lot to help him but at times it’s tough. He doesn’t bite much, but when I pick him up he growls really bad, not hissing, not showing teeth just growling non stop for bursts. But doesn’t do anything, trying to run away a little bit.
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Confused About My Kittens Behavior/personality.
- Thread starter tyuty9
- Start Date
Cats take a while to get to the stage of fully trusting you. He is still young and getting to know you. You should definitely get him neutered ASAP. At 6 months he can be starting to go through puberty and will get stressed out if you don't let him out and mate! 4 months is a good time to get your cat neutered. My cat is a male. I got him at 3 months and he had no social skills. He was semi feral i guess. He was so scared and wouldn't let me touch him for the longest time. I actually remember at one point feeling so upset thinking he might just not ever be affectionate and I have to accept that. I was sad because my previous cat was cuddly and I missed that. But after a while, he came around. I remember the first time he let me pet him. It was a big deal!! Lol I just gave him time and didn't force it because that can make the process worse. You just need to give him time to build your trust. Spending time and playing with him a lot will help with bonding. Also you should not wait anymore on getting him neutered. The earlier you get it done the better and faster healing for him. Don't give up! Just give it time. Play with him a lot and don't push the cuddling too much. Good luck! 
Neutering will certainly help with a lot of issues! He's kinda a teenager right now, AND he has fizzing hormones. Many kittens at that age are about as far from snuggly and loving as you can get without being downright hostile, and many of those grow up into lovely, loving cats. A LOT of this is his age. But don't fret...although it doesn't look like it, you are bonding with him. It has to be at his pace, not yours. Everytime you feed him, or play with him, or give him the little attention that he does want right now, you are building that bond that will pay off later when he grows up a bit.
For starters, you got a cat that was much too young to be separated from its mother, so she wasn't there to teach him to be a normal cat. Cats need their siblings and mother around until 10-12 weeks ideally to learn proper cat behavior and manners and to develop their personality. If he was so hissy it sounds like he wasn't even used to being around humans, maybe semi-feral. I highly doubt he was a abused just due to hissing.
Secondly, he needs neutered regardless of his behavior. It should not affect his behavior negatively but it is so important to do. Ever smell a male cats urine? You will when he is spraying it all over your house to mark his territory!
Third, he sounds like a typical crazy kitten. He goes into psycho play mode constantly. "He plays really really intense and if I make eye contact with him while he’s playing, he’ll take whatever he has in his mouth, make a weird sound with his voice, and run away as if he’s scared and play with it away from me." That is just him being a kitten. He is a little rougher and tougher then some perhaps. He needs time, neutered, you could try a calming collar or Feliway plug ins...
Side note: Do not use your hands to play with him, or else he will grow up thinking they are toys and he can bite them. Only use toys. And remember vocalization is normal, and he never learned to do it properly so that is how he communicates. If he bites you, hiss at him. That is cat speak for "cut it out!"
Secondly, he needs neutered regardless of his behavior. It should not affect his behavior negatively but it is so important to do. Ever smell a male cats urine? You will when he is spraying it all over your house to mark his territory!
Third, he sounds like a typical crazy kitten. He goes into psycho play mode constantly. "He plays really really intense and if I make eye contact with him while he’s playing, he’ll take whatever he has in his mouth, make a weird sound with his voice, and run away as if he’s scared and play with it away from me." That is just him being a kitten. He is a little rougher and tougher then some perhaps. He needs time, neutered, you could try a calming collar or Feliway plug ins...
Side note: Do not use your hands to play with him, or else he will grow up thinking they are toys and he can bite them. Only use toys. And remember vocalization is normal, and he never learned to do it properly so that is how he communicates. If he bites you, hiss at him. That is cat speak for "cut it out!"
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- #5
Thank you very much for your advice. A lot of it probably sounds stupid because it’s my first kitten, but I had to ask someone. The hand thing makes sense, and is happening, but sometimes if I play with him, he gets really crazy and I’ll try to be gentle with the toys but then he’ll run into the corner and growl (defensively) at my hands. I am very sure this isn’t aggression, but first Of all what do I do when this happens and second of all when I’m carrying him, he constantly growls. He will growl for about 3 seconds then wait a couple seconds and growl again. Continuously. Also where should I socialize him? The only person with cats I know, had 4 cats, the youngest being 10 months but very scared and Scittish like mine. The other 3 are much older cats and don’t like kittens. Recently I have gotten really close to giving him to someone who knows what they’re doing; because when I got a cat, I got one cause of my friend who had the most loving and affectionate cats that truly understood I wasn’t trying to hurt them. However with azure at times it’s like he doesn’t understand anything I do and every movement is a threat to him. Sometimes he lets me pet him but even then his tail is swishing, and he looks very uncomfortable. He purrs while sitting in my lap and rubbing his head on my shoulder about once a day, purrs when I feed him, but it’s hard to connect those two personalities. I’m asking this because all the cats I’ve ever met, were all the reason I hated cats and why most people do, we all think cats are jerks, and they were all loners and didn’t like me. I really wanted a very affectionate lap cat which is why I got a cat, but even if I don’t get that I’ll try my best with him. And also when he’s licking my face he tends to bite, he kind of bites a little hard but keeps licking but sometimes it hurts but if I hiss at him he doesn’t even come up to me for days
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- #6
Ok thanks, also when I let him out of my room which is a lot, but not all the time because we are doing some remodeling over rooms downstairs, he acts really crazy and he runs away from me as soon as I move or as soon as he sees me. When I let him out I’m afraid he’ll never come up to me and start liking someone else, which is weird but you know I had him when he was one month so I love him a lot. He came up to me purring one night when I slept out of my room but not for long and he slept somewhere else near me. Also, is he really gonna be affectionate after I neuter him and he matures? I just can’t see it happening... I dont mind if the answer is no I just wanna know the truth. Thanks for the advice!
Not to ask a stupid question but are you sure he is growling and not just purring really really loudly, off and on, or louder and softer with his breaths? And no I don't mean to socialize him by taking him places necessarily, some people do that, I mean, you can buy a harness and take him outside eventually. But I just meant constantly be around him, show him affection, play with him, turn music on or the tv on softly so he gets used to noises. Eventually invite friends over and try to get him used to more people being around and handling him. That kind of socialization.
Honestly I think you are asking a lot from this kitten. He is a baby, his personality is developing. One second he will be purring and eating treats from your hand, and the next hopping around with his tail poofed and swishing in crazy play mode, and next sound asleep. That is just how kittens are. Then he will go into his "teenager" phase, the sooner you neuter him the less eventful it will be. Hopefully mellowing out as he becomes an adult.
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- #8
Ok. Sorry for asking so much, it is my first kitten or cat and I love him so much and I just want to make sure. Also, he is desfinitely growling. For sure. I don’t know why but he seems to be really afraid when I hold him either when he’s in a bad mood or for longer than 10 seconds. And I was just making sure that the playing was actually playing because I have never seen a kitten act this crazy, but thanks for telling me because I was worried he was gonna be an aggressive cat. And thanks, I’m getting him neutered very soon.
Hopefully things will turn out well, I just want to do everything right. Very afraid to mess up because this is a huge learning curb from going from dogs to cats. But thank you for your advice!
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- #9
Also yesterday, I was holding his food bowl (wet canned food) and I was going to feed him by spoon because I wanted to portion it due to him eating a little too much lately, but first off he didn’t purr like he usually does when I feed him, he came over, licked it, and got uncomfortable and growled. He then left and looked at the food bowl in my hands and growled again (for sure it was a growl). He came over to where I always put his food and water bowl, and meowed and looked at me so I put the spoon next to him and he just growled again. So I put the bowl down, and went and sat on the other side of the room. I noticed that he kept looking at me. So whenever he saw that I was looking he growled and stopped eating and walked away. This has never happened and he has always willingly ate from my hand. He always sits on my window (2nd floor) and looks outside. By the looks of it, since he’s not neutered, is he just developing some dominance traits or is maybe stressed he can’t go and mate with other cats? I will be getting him neutered this week.
Oh, probably a little of both. Neutering will take care of that, but it takes a few days, up to 14 in some cases, for the hormones to completely disappear.
Now, as for playing...do you have a wand toy for him? That's a wonderful thing, indeed, to an active kitten! Something along the lines of Da Bird is the best type...nice long wand, nice long string, and interchangeable "prey" to attach to the ends. Hekitty likes "bird" (bundle of feathers) best, but sometimes she want her "mousie". The trick to a really successful play session is for you to get in the mind set of the "prey." Make that bird swoop and soar, light for a moment, flutter on the ground, and take off again. If it is a "mousie," well, they skitter and hop...creep along, then scoot very fast. AND your hands are well out of the way all the time!
Don't ever be afraid to ask. Your questions are NOT "stupid," they are the questions of someone seeking information, and that makes them, no matter how basic they seem, very smart, indeed!
Now, as for playing...do you have a wand toy for him? That's a wonderful thing, indeed, to an active kitten! Something along the lines of Da Bird is the best type...nice long wand, nice long string, and interchangeable "prey" to attach to the ends. Hekitty likes "bird" (bundle of feathers) best, but sometimes she want her "mousie". The trick to a really successful play session is for you to get in the mind set of the "prey." Make that bird swoop and soar, light for a moment, flutter on the ground, and take off again. If it is a "mousie," well, they skitter and hop...creep along, then scoot very fast. AND your hands are well out of the way all the time!
Don't ever be afraid to ask. Your questions are NOT "stupid," they are the questions of someone seeking information, and that makes them, no matter how basic they seem, very smart, indeed!
