Compassion Fatigue...

[Graceful-Lily]

Has anyone ever experienced compassion fatigue while rescuing cats?

How was it for you, what brought it on, how did you cope/work through it?

I'm afraid I'm going to burn myself too quickly...

 

[Jcatbird]

Do you mean that your compassion has become thin or numb or do you mean you have just exhausted yourself? It may seem similar. You do need to pace yourself. It’s hard to keep up a stiff pace. I had to rescue under a time crunch. I was up very late nights for weeks at a time and then attending to socializing, cat care, vet care and somewhere in there trying to care for home and myself. I did find help in some things. The response of the kitties helped. Their gratitude, need and love. Seeing the kitties in danger made me rally quickly! The support of others, especially here. Those who were in favor of me doing the rescues and understood the sacrifices we make to accomplish them as well as being relieved, as I was, that another was safe. Oddly, opposition also made me find renewed compassion. How dare they question the needs and worthiness of a life? Lol The energy to continue the fight arrived! Rest helps. A little time away to do something that takes your mind off of your worries and lastly, sometimes just a good cry and a cup of tea or other relaxing method. Warm bubble bath and a bowl of ice cream? Pamper yourself for just a little while on some simple and calming way.
We all have our stressed out moments. You are not alone in that! Hang on, hang in there, hang out for awhile and you have our total support! You are doing things that save lives and change our world for the better. Give yourself a break and a big hug from us!

 

[Graceful-Lily]

I think I've exhausted myself a bit. But I was watching some Kitten Lady videos and she mentioned compassion fatigue.

I think it's probably more of a feeling of, "I don't think I can do everything on my own."

I just wanted to hear everyone else's experiences because it feels like all odds are against me.

 

[Maria Bayote]

I have been there too, and once in a while I still feel the same. Somebody asked me why I do what I do when nobody asked me to do it anyway. I replied to him; “Why do you also do what you do instead of helping around?”, an answer that shut him out.

Mine is also due to finances. I feel I cannot do it anymore because my husband and I can’t really afford it. But I believe in blessings and good karma. So far we can manage. I just have to cut off some little shopping for this month to at least afford a few bags or cans of food for my strays.

Also there is the emotional burden of it all; when I cannot find a forever home and new cats keep coming. When a cat or two gets sick and the worry and stress it brings. When a cat suddenly does not come back and I have to worry again. Amidst all these, I do sometimes question myself why I still keep doing it. What shall I gain from all these besides emotional and financial stress. I really don’t know. The only thing I do know is the happiness outweighs the negative. It does make me happy. Tired, but happy.

 

[Graceful-Lily]

Maria Bayote - That's the perfect answer. Thank you. That's exactly how I'm feeling.

 

[Jcatbird]

To you all. We do go through those things. No doubt about it. The weight can be overwhelming. Just know that you are not alone and some of us do share the difficulties. Maria Bayote I too believe in blessings and good karma. May that carry you both when you feel you need help. Also, we are here for you.

 

[fionasmom]

Compassion Fatigue is a psychologically recognized condition which occurs when someone is in a position as you describe. There is a website www.compassionfatigue.org which addresses it at length and does include the fact that those who take care of animals can experience it as well as those who take care of people. My guess is that a lot of people who care for strays and ferals experience this, especially if you do this sort of work on an ongoing basis.

 

[Jcatbird]

Just wanted to touch base with you. You are on my mind. I hope things have eased up and you are feeling better.

 

[Graceful-Lily]

I'm not sure how this is going to play out. My cousin sprung a wedding invitation on me last minute for Saturday, the same day the TNR workshop is on.

The queen I spayed has stopped coming because she doesn't like the food I put out. I haven't seen her since Friday. She kept turning her nose up to everything but I give her what I have. I don't have a job so I can't afford anything better. Plus, the pregnant queen I'm looking after eats a lot.

I just can't help but think that I'm not equipt to look after this colony alone, I can't. It really is impossible.

There won't be another workshop until September which means another month of unfixed cats. The shelter will not take them unless I complete this workshop.

I've even contemplated working a not-so-great job just to help feed everyone.

 

[fionasmom]

Doing this on your own is very hard and will burn you out very quickly, as you are experiencing. I wonder if when/if you are able to attend the workshop you might be able to make contact with others who might be able to help. Even becoming part of a network of caretakers would be preferrable.

You are more or less in this situation now with the cats that you have and if it is possible should try to see it through....but I am not saying that to push you or make you feel guilty. When this is resolved, you might take some time to ask yourself how much you can do for animals.....and where ever you determine the maximum for yourself is where you stop. There is nothing wrong with doing something rather than nothing, but it does not have to be everything.

I have a friend who volunteers in a high kill shelter which is also very mismanaged, records falsified, careless adoptions, etc. She goes almost every day and has made a difference to many animals there, partly because of her superior technological skills. For myself, there is not enough Xanax in the world for me to be able to walk through that kind of place, and certainly not on a regular basis.

As for food, you can only feed what you can afford. Yes, cats can be picky, but I have seen hungry cats eat the bottom of the barrel cat food happily.

 

[jefferd18]

Thank you for taking care of those kitty cats.

I know exactly what you are going through. I have been feeding cats over on a parking lot for seven years now.

The Dangers
I have been approached by homeless people who live in the woods behind the lot, approached nine times in one year by the police who want to know what I am doing over there after dark, and just the other day I had a guy who was mumbling to himself as he kept circling around the cats and me; I doubt he even knew we were there. Those are the times when I have to ask myself: "What the hell am I doing here?"

Stress
I hold down two jobs and go to school, so there are times when I can't get over to the parking lot until three in the morning. I worry every month whether I am going to be able to afford to feed these guys. And it never helps that I tend to be a person who stresses over the little things, so if I don't see a particular cat for three days in a row, my mind immediately goes over to the dark side.

I do this on my own because frankly every rescue group, every vet, and every shelter, is up to their eyeballs in cats this time of year. My vet has reached his capacity of 150 cats and someone at the Humane Society said they were getting up to 75 litters of kittens a day.

Coping
I try to take care of myself, rest, decent diet, and exercising. I make time for friends and family even if its just for a few minutes a day. I also treat myself to some relaxing fun time every week.

I would love to save so many animals and if I won the lottery, I would. But I do try to take comfort in the fact that I am helping kitty cats, even if its just a few.

 

[fionasmom]

Do you carry anything with which to defend yourself if something happened at 3 AM? Pepper spray?

You seem as if you are a very centered person, even through the Inky crisis, and that has to help to carry you and your colony through all that you do.

 

[catsknowme]

Having had both Caregiver Burnout and Compassion Fatigue, I have learned to tell the difference. CB is the feeling tired, overwhelmed, worried, frustrated, asking "why?", etc. CF is depression, irritability, crying or raging easily, inability to cope with daily life routines and ideally should get professional help when possible; the treatment includes things that take time (meditation, adjusting to psychotropics, recreational diversion....all the things that if a caregiver had respite time and support already, they wouldn't have CF in the first place!).
For me, the internet, especially TCS, is a lifeline. Mentally and physically, I need long hikes and other outdoor activities but caring for my 90yo mom and my adult disabled daughter doesn't allow for anything more than quick trips for shopping and appointments & even for that I will be emotionally harangued.
For me, prayers have worked (I started a thread titled "thoughts and prayers: in the IMO forum). I had several years of feeling utterly desolate in my cat rescues but colony by colony, I have been having random people show up and take over. Some come & go but then Heaven (I believe) sends someone else. Our shelter's director has recently had a real change of heart and I am optimistic that cat rescue here can finally come out of the shadows. The AC has TNR'd 14 cats from one colony and also worked with a local restaurant's staff to TNR the cats there.
Graceful-Lily You know your own family best but perhaps your cousin would be understanding if you sent a gift and then helped host an anniversary party next year. or perhaps the rescue group's instructors would offer you an exemption if you do an online course and then do a "ride along" with a trapping team.

 

[Graceful-Lily]

Ah, that makes sense. I think what I'm experiencing is closer to burn out. As of right now, I think I need to take a break and relax. This is too much, too soon. I need to focus on my Fayola and her unborn kittens.

 

[jefferd18]

Do you carry anything with which to defend yourself if something happened at 3 AM? Pepper spray?

You seem as if you are a very centered person, even through the Inky crisis, and that has to help to carry you and your colony through all that you do.

Never thought of that but you are right. I don't carry a gun, but since things are getting a little weird over there, having a can of Pepper Spray on me makes perfect sense. Thank you for the suggestion.

When the homeless guy came up upon the cats and me the cats immediately flew across the parking lot and I damn near joined them. Now I know that the homeless are quite often the victims, not the villains, but it was just startling with how quickly he came out of nowhere.

That's an awfully nice compliment, fionasmom,

thank you

 

[fionasmom]

I used to walk my German shepherd before light came up in the morning and got into the habit of also wearing a lanyard with pepper spray or various products around my neck. I never needed it.....let's be optimistic for you as well....but it was there.

 

[tnrmakessense]

I think I've exhausted myself a bit. But I was watching some Kitten Lady videos and she mentioned compassion fatigue.

I think it's probably more of a feeling of, "I don't think I can do everything on my own."

I just wanted to hear everyone else's experiences because it feels like all odds are against me.

I'm right where you are (were). It's SO hard to see animals that are hurting and I can't help (yet - trap wary). So I do what I can in the meantime. Feed. Water. Obsess. Plan. Revise the plan.

Compassion Fatigue is a psychologically recognized condition which occurs when someone is in a position as you describe. There is a website www.compassionfatigue.org which addresses it at length and does include the fact that those who take care of animals can experience it as well as those who take care of people. My guess is that a lot of people who care for strays and ferals experience this, especially if you do this sort of work on an ongoing basis.

That is a fantastic resource and exactly what I've been looking for. Thank you !!!

 

[tnrmakessense]

Compassion Fatigue is a psychologically recognized condition which occurs when someone is in a position as you describe. There is a website www.compassionfatigue.org which addresses it at length and does include the fact that those who take care of animals can experience it as well as those who take care of people. My guess is that a lot of people who care for strays and ferals experience this, especially if you do this sort of work on an ongoing basis.

The Compassion Fatigue site had an area that discusses being an empath, which I am. The injured feral cat in the "hospital room" in my bedroom was so much on my mind that I didn't sleep for days. I felt as though through the screen door, I could feel his pain and his fear. I tried not to cough so that I wouldn't startle him. I didn't watch television in the bedroom. I listened for his movements.

The sleep deprivation added to my worry and paranoia.

I guess I'm just saying that I have to take a hard look at what's causing my compassion fatigue and how I can help myself. I did go to a new counselor in my psychiatrist's office, but after I sobbed about a failed rescue attempt of a tiny kitten, he told me a long story about a study of wolves that had nothing to do with my situation. Then more stories unrelated to me. And billed me a bundle. So that's another reality. The number of people that understand caring for feral cats seems pretty small sometimes. Thank goodness for this forum.

 

[fionasmom]

I think that compassion fatigue is less understood than some other conditions, like if you had shown up with extreme anxiety or phobias. It certainly does overlap with caretaker issues and those have received much more attention over the last few years.

About 12 years ago I had a German shepherd with degenerative myelopathy who had lost the use of his back legs, a litter of feral kittens in one of the bathrooms, and two elderly sick cats. A friend of mine said that I was running a MASH unit out of my house all on my own and that is what it felt like.

It can be hard to address when you are caring for ferals as there is so much reaction to what is happening as opposed to proaction where you can plan and take the first step. I found that played into it for me a great deal. What I could not do or was not there in time to do and the like.

 

[tnrmakessense]

I think that compassion fatigue is less understood than some other conditions, like if you had shown up with extreme anxiety or phobias. It certainly does overlap with caretaker issues and those have received much more attention over the last few years.

About 12 years ago I had a German shepherd with degenerative myelopathy who had lost the use of his back legs, a litter of feral kittens in one of the bathrooms, and two elderly sick cats. A friend of mine said that I was running a MASH unit out of my house all on my own and that is what it felt like.

It can be hard to address when you are caring for ferals as there is so much reaction to what is happening as opposed to proaction where you can plan and take the first step. I found that played into it for me a great deal. What I could not do or was not there in time to do and the like.

That was so well put. So much overlap. So much reluctant spotlighting of my deepest fears etc. and re-examining of every other tough animal situation. And reaction. That's exactly what every feeding/trapping of ferals ends up being despite all my planning. Thank you for sharing your experience. It must have been really tough. I'm sorry.