Clingy Kitten; At My Wits End

[Kflowers]

I think your kit is still afraid of going back 'out there' where it's bad. You saved him. He loves you. there is a good chance he didn't get to love his mom and siblings, and receive enough of their love in return. He may have seen what happened to them and be afraid that if he isn't watching the same thing will happen to you, or that you too will disappear.

Talking to him sounds like a really good idea. Yes, he wants attention. he's still a small child. Attention tells him you love him, he matters, you won't throw him out.

My advice would be to move to major cuddles. When the meowing gets shrill pick him up and cuddle him. If he joins you in bed meowing, stuff him under the covers to cuddle him. You will have fulfilled his touch needs. I've generally found that you can give enough touch/attention to reassure and that lessens the NEED-YOU-RIGHT-NOW!

My experiences were not with Siamese.

 

[CHIKITTIES]

I don't have wisdom to share but ... seems to me you are taking right approach, not rewarding her door banging (cute, but difficult I guess). All I can say is she loves you so much! And I hope talking with other cat people helps makes you feel better ... (I myself is very new in here, and feeling a lot of reliaf after talking to wonderful people)

 

[danteshuman]

After reading about talking to your siamese cat ...... I realized I talk to my boy every time he meows. Whether it is a "what?" , or meowing back at him or talking to him. The only time he does the shrill meow is when he sometimes does it in the car. I tap him and tell him stop ..... or hold him and reassure him. My boy loves to play fetch with extra collars (trying to switch him to hair bands) & those rabbit fur poof balls. He loves sitting in his chair and bird watching/hunting every afternoon. Like I said you need to wear out their mind...... a bored siamese is a destructive/annoying siamese.

I think talking to your kitten/teen is a great idea.

 

[Furensics]

Cats are great teachers, students and communicators, and each one will have it's own way of 'talking' to you. If you're satisfied with her diet and health, she may be trying to tell you something, cats are very persistent when they want to be understood.
Some cats are very direct, one of mine for example will come over to me, place her front paws on my legs and stare at me. When I ask what she wants, she goes directly to her dry food or treats and nudges it with her nose!
My other one is more the type that knows how to get what he wants by doing things I don't like, so for example I shouted at him once in alarm as I caught him in the bathroom about to drink from the toilet bowl. Now if he's ever thirsty and there's nothing down for him, he heads for the bathroom where he sits and waits.
Observe your cat, you've noticed her odd behaviour between 6am and 9am, and when you're in a room with the door closed.
Could these be signs of the way she lived before at the shelter? Was she accustomed to a specific routine? It might be worth setting up a camera to watch what she does when you go out, she might be telling you she wants to come with you...remember that cats expect their mother to teach them how to survive, and they'll often expect you to take them on food hunting trips, especially cats that might be more feral in nature.
It's definitely worth asking her, a she's vocalising, she will probably respond very well to you vocalising back.
I always treat cats as little humans, so I talk to them the same way you would talk to a child, and you'll be surprised at how well they respond.
Instead of ignoring her cries, ask her what she wants, softly but genuinely, then observe her reactions.
Do you have a cat flap? She may be telling you she doesn't like it when you go out and she's locked in.
Early mornings, closed doors...?
When you discover why she's doing this, you will also have discovered her method of communicating.
Sometimes though, it's worth reminding your cat that she's not a human..they often see themselves as one of you...if you can't discover why she's doing something, try picking her up gently, cradling her like a baby, then stand in front of a mirror. Let her see your reflection stroking her or holding her paws, this one nearly always gives them a reality check!

 

[sadcad]

Thank you all for help and advice!!! I enjoyed reading all of your insights and stories.

Having read people's accounts I feel less helpless and more optimistic about everything. Also hearing that she could be part Siamese and the vocal behavior possibly being rooted in genetics rather than the environment also relieved some of the pressure off of me. I think part of the reason I was so stressed was because I kept wondering I must be giving her an awful home if she is always unhappy.

Tonight I gave them an extra feeding of dry food (she ate almost all of it) and gave her special cuddles and pets. I will also see whether I can keep all doors open so she doesn't stress as much. In general she was a lot quieter today after eating extra dry food and after a big play session so I was able to get a lot of work done. \o/

I'll post in this thread in a few weeks/month to see how the change in diet & apartment reflects on the dynamics! Thank you all again!!!

 

[Jcatbird]

All excellent advice given. Cats may not be people but they do communicate. Some breeds are more vocal like Siamese. The Maine Coon tends to go around trilling or singing. They are like us in that they vocalize in order to say something. It can be , I’m hungry, bored, scared, lonely, have a dirty litter box or water, I want reassurance, snuggles or even, I don’t feel good. I think she is young, needs to be close and comfort food can help. I also think that talking to her is a very positive thing. The word No if she is doing something you don’t want her to do can be taught. No if she jumps towards a hot stove, no if she tries to run out the door or no if you are working and cannot play. Teach her as though she is a toddler. Watch her facial expressions and body language. Is her tail twitching? That can mean excitement, aggravation or irritation. Are her ears back? That can mean all the same things as well as I’m going to pounce or jump. Catspeak is a real thing. They just don’t use words. Please don’t feel helpless. This is something that will change. It’s just a matter of time and interpreting what kitty is telling you. Cats are very intelligent. She is talking to you because she knows she can trust you. Please keep posting as you go. There are a lot of people here who can help you get over the hump with her. Frustration is understandable. I currently care for 25. We all have our moments. I have been working with dozens over the past year and each one is different and I have had to learn something new with each one but we do get there. Next time you feel stressed maybe a nice cup of tea or a long soaking bath for you and a little dish of something nice to distract kitty while you do that. Or just write in here! We’ll all be here to sympathize, understand and help you figure it all out. I have one cat that demands a lot of attention. I have found that telling him a joke breaks the tension for us both. ( cats pick up on our tension and they will react to that, maybe by meowing!) He gives me a funny look and I laugh. Then he just stares at me or reaches out a paw and he really looks like he is smiling. I now call him my laughing cat and I tell him mouse jokes. It really doesn’t matter if he understands the joke, he understands the good feelings. I hope you and all your kitties will soon be laughing.