Cats hating each other

[sphynx]

I am at the end of my tether as I have never had this problem before. I have a 5 year old resident male Sphynx (Caluga) and on 1 March my other 5 year old male Sphynx (Molly) died of HCM. Caluga seemed lonely, so after about a month I adopted an adult female 6 year old Sphynx (Soso). They are both spayed and neutered. When I first bought Soso home it went OK-ish - after the first couple of days they more or less tolerated one another. Now, around 2 1/2 months down the line things have become unbearable. They hate one another and because they are both indoor cats it is really difficult to live with.. Caluga seems to be really bullying Soso.. he will chase her and when she has found a place to hide he will 'posture' next to her.. tail up and quivering, making himself taller and looking menacing. She reacts by making this funny, low growly noise and it often ends in a horrible fight. When Caluga and Molly lived together they would often 'play' fight and it never escalated, but this is really horrible to live with. I really don't know what to do. Soso has by far the sweetest nature of the two. Should I consider re-homing Soso as she was last in - I don't know if I could live with a situation like this forever, especially seeing as how we live in a very small place and are around each other all the time. Any suggestions.. I am not enjoying they way things are at the moment.

 

[mani]

I don't know how you feel about flower essences.. the Bach system.  Most people know Rescue Remedy, but in this case a mix of Beech and Chicory for Caluga may be helpful (which requires a naturopath or someone with all the essences to mix for you). 

I do feel for you, and it can't be much fun for them, either.

 

[sphynx]

Thanks for the advice Mani.. it is not something with which I am familiar, but I am definitely going to look into it! I will try anything to achieve a peaceful home once more.. thanks again!

 

[david's steph]

I am at the end of my tether as I have never had this problem before. I have a 5 year old resident male Sphynx (Caluga) and on 1 March my other 5 year old male Sphynx (Molly) died of HCM. Caluga seemed lonely, so after about a month I adopted an adult female 6 year old Sphynx (Soso). They are both spayed and neutered. When I first bought Soso home it went OK-ish - after the first couple of days they more or less tolerated one another. Now, around 2 1/2 months down the line things have become unbearable. They hate one another and because they are both indoor cats it is really difficult to live with.. Caluga seems to be really bullying Soso.. he will chase her and when she has found a place to hide he will 'posture' next to her.. tail up and quivering, making himself taller and looking menacing. She reacts by making this funny, low growly noise and it often ends in a horrible fight. When Caluga and Molly lived together they would often 'play' fight and it never escalated, but this is really horrible to live with. I really don't know what to do. Soso has by far the sweetest nature of the two. Should I consider re-homing Soso as she was last in - I don't know if I could live with a situation like this forever, especially seeing as how we live in a very small place and are around each other all the time. Any suggestions.. I am not enjoying they way things are at the moment.

this sucks. I have been there.  It took almost one year for my fighting cats to co-exist (that was 12 yrs. ago  -  they are best buddies now).  Hang in there, I found, that a water bottle squirted at the bully's/aggressor's  BOTTOM/BUM ONLY (never in the face),  helped with this type of aggression.  But others don't agree with this, but it works for us here. It's hard when you are not home, but when you are, lay down the law that the bullying won't be tolerated, through vocals, clapping of hands, etc. 

Good luck, give it some more time, cats are weird, it takes sometimes a long time to figure out how to live together ..

 

[sphynx]

Thanks so much David's Steph.. you have given me a reason to be hopeful 

! Even if it takes a year it will be worth it - wow, 12 years later and best buddies.. that is fantastic!! Very heartening.. thank you!

 

[mimi3908]

sounds to me like case of resident kitty establishing dominance during period of introduction. Nothing unusual about it at all. I don't know how you introduced the kitties, should be gradual with scent swapping etc. As someone stated already, time and patience, 2.5 months isn't that long at all. It took me 3 months to get two of my kitties to get along and now they are very close. Sometimes it is better for the human to not pay so much attention to how they react at first, it will only drive you nuts, but in the kitties world, it is just the way they do things.. as long as no one is getting serious hurt, they probably are just going through that intro phase. Again, hopefully it was done slowly. You know your first kitty have gotten along before with another kitty so very high chances it will get along again with another kitty. Give it time and  perhaps re-intro if you have too.

 

[sphynx]

Thanks Mimi.. I have finally realised that I was being a bit too ambitious expecting it to be all plain sailing after such a short time.. patience, patience, patience! I have no doubt they will learn to live side by side after having read David's Steph's post. Today was actually not too bad.. only one horrible fight which I completely ignored and since then all quiet from both of them! No.. I didn't introduce them slowly.. after having had numerous animals - dogs and cats - I have never, ever done the slow intro and have never ever had a problem. All our dog/cat combos have always been fantastic, this is the first hiccup I have had and I believe it will get better after reading about other people's experiences 

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