Cat Won't Let Me Sleep!

[erickste86]

Okay I'm sure this is a very common issue for most cat mom's/dad's. I've asked questions on here before about my special case cat. I don't believe she was raised around humans or with human interaction so any issue I may have with her is extra difficult. I've had her for almost 6 months and she's gone from hiding under the couch and avoiding me to following me around and climbing on my bed to relax while I sleep. She still won't let me pet her but I know she's very much wanting general attention.

About 4 months in, she finally started becoming vocal. And now she's vocal all the time, all night long. They don't sound like anything critical like she's crying or sick. Half of it is trills. And she's finally getting food she craves and she knows when it's time to eat but she'll continue to pester me every couple of hours throughout the night. I feed her twice a day so I know she's not starving. She woke me up last night at 3, then at 5:30, then at 6:30 this morning when I finally gave in and fed her a half hour early. She'll climb all over me and continue to meow and trill until I pay attention to her. I AM SO TIRED.

I do have an automatic feeder I could use for the mornings as well ( I use it for when I'm at work late ), but I feel like it's both her asking for attention and for food, and I'm not sure how to get her to stop. I don't want to close the door on her because I'm still trying to get her to be fully open and trusting with me. Maybe she needs a cat companion? Not sure how she does with other cats. It could be a plethora of things but I'm no scholar when it comes to understanding her needs.

Any suggestions or your personal experiences would be great to help me get some sleep! lol

 

[Beyond Confused]

I've had tremendous luck with rubbing Rescue Remedy on my cat's ears. You only need 4 or so drops rubbed gently in your fingers and then rubbed inside the kitty's ears. Any left on your fingers could be rubbed into the fur, though I don't think that's really effective...just a way to get rid of excess. I put it on his ears about 20 or 30 minutes before bed.
As an additional FYI, I used this on him Friday before a visit to the vet. This is a kitty who HATES to leave the house. He starts hissing as I put him in the carrier, and he carries on the entire time he's gone. Other than some light meowing Friday, he was great, even during the ultrasound. In fact, while waiting for the doctor to come out initially, I had to peek inside his carrier a few times to make sure he was still breathing because he was so quiet! Truly, that was a first. I even asked if they had those pheromone warmers in the office, and they didn't.

I was told about this product from my vet, but you should check with yours before starting to confirm it's OK for your girl. I will also note that not every cat will respond to this, though many do. I briefly had a 2nd kitty a couple weeks ago, and it didn't even begin to calm her down. It's certainly worth a try, though.

There is a pet version, and I found it at Fresh Thyme. You can also check Whole Foods or online. I think Chewy has a $9 sale right now, which is much cheaper than you'll pay in the stores.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. Try using the automatic feeder and see if that changes anything. You could also try to change her second feeding time to a little later and see if that staves off some of the hunger side of her behavior. And, if she will play with you, make sure that before you go to bed you try to tire her out a bit by playing. You could also give her a treat or two after play, just to help put something in her belly before bed time.

If none of the above work, you could try to place some food in a bowl in your room near the bed - perhaps she would choose to eat it there instead of bugging you to get up and go to where ever her food bowl is currently and fill it. If she eats any dry, that might the food you would want to use in the 'back up' bowl in your bedroom.

And as K Kflowers suggested, maybe the Rescue Remedy could become her 'nightcap'!

You are going to get suggestions about closing her out of your room at night, but I am with you - until you have more trust built up with her, I wouldn't encourage this approach.

 

[erickste86]

I've had tremendous luck with rubbing Rescue Remedy on my cat's ears. You only need 4 or so drops rubbed gently in your fingers and then rubbed inside the kitty's ears. Any left on your fingers could be rubbed into the fur, though I don't think that's really effective...just a way to get rid of excess. I put it on his ears about 20 or 30 minutes before bed.
As an additional FYI, I used this on him Friday before a visit to the vet. This is a kitty who HATES to leave the house. He starts hissing as I put him in the carrier, and he carries on the entire time he's gone. Other than some light meowing Friday, he was great, even during the ultrasound. In fact, while waiting for the doctor to come out initially, I had to peek inside his carrier a few times to make sure he was still breathing because he was so quiet! Truly, that was a first. I even asked if they had those pheromone warmers in the office, and they didn't.

I was told about this product from my vet, but you should check with yours before starting to confirm it's OK for your girl. I will also note that not every cat will respond to this, though many do. I briefly had a 2nd kitty a couple weeks ago, and it didn't even begin to calm her down. It's certainly worth a try, though.

There is a pet version, and I found it at Fresh Thyme. You can also check Whole Foods or online. I think Chewy has a $9 sale right now, which is much cheaper than you'll pay in the stores.

I actually did recently buy a calming spray from a brand called Nature's Miracle because she just recently decided she liked to hang out in her crate ( I haven't been able to take her to the vet yet, it's been a struggle ). So I'll definitely try the spray maybe on her crate or on her perch tonight and see what it does for her. If it works then I hope she can establish a sort of sleep schedule on top of mine.

But I did go ahead and favorite the oil on chewy.com cause they've given me nothing but awesome service, so thank you for the suggestion! She's so skittish if I even try to pet her so I couldn't put it behind her ears, but maybe put it in a little bit of treats or something?​

 

[Kflowers]

Sounds to me more like she just wants to share the joy of being in the same house with you.

We're safe! There's food EVERY DAY! No one is trying to kill us!! You're here for the longest amount of time in the night. You've had a good long nap. Aren't you ready to play? Of course you are! You just need to know that I'm here and ready to play. I'm here! I'm here! Let's play! Noooooooooow!!!!

You're up!!! You're up!!! You're going to play! It's good to play in the kitchen!!! Best room in the house!!!

Oh, wait, you put down more food. Well, okay, food is good. Never let it go to waste. Wait? What you went back to sleep? Sigh. Okay, take another nap. Yeah, take another nap, then we'll play. I love you soooooooooooo much!!

When she wakes you up, hold the covers up as a tent. maybe throw a treat under them. If she goes under, lower the covers slowly. If she doesn't go under, pull them over your head.

You can get ear plugs. That's fine as long as you can hear the something's wrong kitty screams. I mean she'll tell you if the house is on fire. Ear plugs are worth a try. You might consider learning to sleep with your head under the sheet, in case she pats your face when you're asleep - I don't like that and I let the cats sleep in my hair. I do sleep on my stomach because I don't enjoy 10+ pounds of cat walking across my chest or my throat.

 

[erickste86]

Hi. Try using the automatic feeder and see if that changes anything. You could also try to change her second feeding time to a little later and see if that staves off some of the hunger side of her behavior. And, if she will play with you, make sure that before you go to bed you try to tire her out a bit by playing. You could also give her a treat or two after play, just to help put something in her belly before bed time.

If none of the above work, you could try to place some food in a bowl in your room near the bed - perhaps she would choose to eat it there instead of bugging you to get up and go to where ever her food bowl is currently and fill it. If she eats any dry, that might the food you would want to use in the 'back up' bowl in your bedroom.

And as K Kflowers suggested, maybe the Rescue Remedy could become her 'nightcap'!

You are going to get suggestions about closing her out of your room at night, but I am with you - until you have more trust built up with her, I wouldn't encourage this approach.

I've already got her on a 7am and 7pm feeding schedule and I feel bad enough that she waits that long to eat, but I've been told that's normal. It used to be 8am and 8pm but boy did I get yelled at when I got home from work and she wasn't fed right away! I still have yet to find treats she likes ( she literally eats one and leaves the rest on the floor like it's inedible ), but would like to incorporate that sooner than later.

She has recently learned to enjoy playing with me rather than by herself so I think I should give her more time at night with one on one playtime to tucker her out. Around 10 or so when I get home is when she gets the zoomies so I think I gotta get aggressive with playtime.

She does eat just dry food with wet food a couple times a week so I wouldn't want to overfeed her because then she'll just be a glutton. But I'm going to try all these suggestions; there is a lifetimes worth of stuff to learn and we're both new at this I guess! Thanks for the suggestions!

 

[erickste86]

Sounds to me more like she just wants to share the joy of being in the same house with you.

We're safe! There's food EVERY DAY! No one is trying to kill us!! You're here for the longest amount of time in the night. You've had a good long nap. Aren't you ready to play? Of course you are! You just need to know that I'm here and ready to play. I'm here! I'm here! Let's play! Noooooooooow!!!!

You're up!!! You're up!!! You're going to play! It's good to play in the kitchen!!! Best room in the house!!!

Oh, wait, you put down more food. Well, okay, food is good. Never let it go to waste. Wait? What you went back to sleep? Sigh. Okay, take another nap. Yeah, take another nap, then we'll play. I love you soooooooooooo much!!

When she wakes you up, hold the covers up as a tent. maybe throw a treat under them. If she goes under, lower the covers slowly. If she doesn't go under, pull them over your head.

You can get ear plugs. That's fine as long as you can hear the something's wrong kitty screams. I mean she'll tell you if the house is on fire. Ear plugs are worth a try. You might consider learning to sleep with your head under the sheet, in case she pats your face when you're asleep - I don't like that and I let the cats sleep in my hair. I do sleep on my stomach because I don't enjoy 10+ pounds of cat walking across my chest or my throat.

LOL I mean...let's be honest, that's probably what it is. It's just a world's difference from the first time I got her when I had to check on her to be sure she was okay; I was so sure she wasn't going to be a talker! I'm very much welcoming her company and her compassion, as long as she welcomes mine!

 

[Beyond Confused]

She's so skittish if I even try to pet her so I couldn't put it behind her ears, but maybe put it in a little bit of treats or something?

Actually, I think that's one of the ways they suggest doing it. I just can't give my guy treats, so I had to get creative.

I hope you have as good of luck as I've had with the product!

 

[recurringecho]

I found that the trick is to make sure she knows you won’t get up, no matter how much she meows. When Multo was a kitten, he would get up hourly and meow, reach under the covers and try to claw your foot out into the open. I ended up cocooning myself in my blankets and not coming out no matter what until he eventually tired himself out and went back to sleep. I continued the ritual a couple nights after he got it to make sure he wouldn’t see me sleeping normally as an invitation that it’s alright to play again and recocooned myself if needed. He got it eventually!

 

[Diana Faye]

Mostly here to creep on the suggestions but- I've had *some* success with feeding a little less, more often, plus leaving out a little kibble to graze. I have 2 kittens, so they do a lot of playing with each other, because try as I might I just cannot keep up. Ideally, play time before feeding, and I have noticed if they were sleeping for mealtime, they get the zoomies after.

I feed some wet in the AM, when I get home from work, and one more time late at night before *I* want to go to bed. It'll usually buy me a few hours, but anywhere between 5-7 am they get rambunctious. I try to push that morning feeding between 7-8 and not sooner, but I have had to lock them out of the room. Which buys me about an hour before the littlest tries to break down the door to get to me. Mostly, it's all play with each other and not targeting me, but that means tearing across the house and running over me in bed, climbing up where they shouldn't and knocking down various objects (or twice, crashing through the fish tank).

I feel like I haven't slept in months, but I can manage to get a few hours in at one time, so cheers to small victories.

 

[Kflowers]

Did the fish survive? I really want to know. I always want to know about the animals that are mentioned. Should have put your name on it so you'd know i was asking. duh.

Diana Faye

 

[susanm9006]

Very simple. She cry’s and makes noise during the night because you respond to it. Some things for you to try and by try I mean it may take weeks or even months to change her behavior.

First you can try totally not responding to her no matter what noise she makes or what she does. Once she realizes you aren’t noticing she may stop.

Second is to give her a warning phrase, like “quiet down” or “sleep time”. Doesn’t matter so much as you always use it and if she is in the bed you put her in the floor. When that doesn’t work and it likely won’t at first, next time you use the phrase, put outside your room and shut the door. She will likely pitch a fit outside the door but you ignore it. If she goes away you can try opening your door again but you need to repeat the warning and shutting her out if she makes noise. The alternative is to leave her shut out until you get up in the morning. Very important that there be no talking, no petting, no treats while you shut her out.

She might catch on after being shut out a few times or you might be doing this for weeks but it will work eventually.

 

[Diana Faye]

Did the fish survive? I really want to know. I always want to know about the animals that are mentioned. Should have put your name on it so you'd know i was asking. duh.

Diana Faye

They did, freaked out but ok. Scarier part was I had made a custom glass top for the tank, and the first time it got completely shattered. I was so scared the one kitten would cut himself but he came out unscathed. The 2nd time, I had a spare piece of glass I put towards the back, and tin foil over the front because I didn't trust him to not do it again. Months later, he crashed through the tin foil but nothing got broken this time. I still haven't replaced the foil until I feel like I can trust them. Funny enough, the cats could care less about the fish; they just wanted yet another surface to fly off from.

 

[Kflowers]

Thank you. We would have fish, but I've been informed that we wouldn't be able to take the tank to the basement during tornado warnings. And certain people didn't want to even try.

Is there a reason you don't use a plastic top? Is plastic that isn't floating or actually in the water bad for fish?

 

[Beyond Confused]

Thank you. We would have fish, but I've been informed that we wouldn't be able to take the tank to the basement during tornado warnings. And certain people didn't want to even try.

Is there a reason you don't use a plastic top? Is plastic that isn't floating or actually in the water bad for fish?

I actually have a 54 gallon fish tank because of my now-departed Admiral. He LOVED that thing, and he never tried to get in or on it. He would spend so much time in the sun room, watching the fish, particularly my Chinese Algae Eater, Mitch. Mitch seemed to enjoy him as well. They'd both sit at the glass, watching each other, and dinner time for the fish was always a hoot. Admiral would race across the house and launch himself up on the couch next to the tank to watch them. I have some cute pics, but I'm at work and unable to upload them.

 

[Kflowers]

Will wait for the pictures.

 

[daftcat75]

Cats are most active at dawn and dusk. Some cats are so excited they jump the gun. Mine is a 4am kitty. She can still stand to gain some weight from IBD so I relent and feed her. We feed and sleep in shifts. I can relate to being so tired.

I believe the “let me sleep the night” protocol goes like this:

1. Add a bedtime play session, followed by a meal to initiate cats’ natural routine of hunt, eat, groom, (sometimes bathroom), and sleep. Since your girl is skittish, I recommend either a laser pointer or a wand toy. She doesn’t have to get too close to you for either of these. My Krista loves the Cat Dancer and this wide fuzzy rainbow shoelace toy that I don’t know the name.


2. Whenever she wakes up before you, if you ever want sleep again, ignore her. No matter what she says or does, ignore her. Don’t try to teach her a phrase or put her out. Ignore her. It is going to get worse before it gets better. But if you relent at any point, you reinforce the idea, “if I just try harder, she’ll give in”.


3. If you’re in the habit of feeding the cat first thing out of bed, add something else in between those. Re-teach the cat that waking you doesn’t mean she gets fed. Because hey, if that’s all it takes to get fed, she can do that every morning.


The Cat Site actually has an Article on this that says pretty much this same thing. Play with her and feed her before bedtime. Ignore her in the morning. Break the wake and feed pattern. It will get worse before it gets better as she tries even harder to get what she’s always received before. You just have to frustrate her into giving up.


All this said, my Krista could still stand to gain weight from her bouts with IBD and pancreatitis. I want her feeding at least four times a day. When she’s back to her ideal weight, we will be trying this protocol. With her, if she isn’t waking me, I know she’s not feeling well. So at least for this stage of her recovery, it’s a useful behavior to reinforce as tired as I am all the time.

 

[daftcat75]

I do sleep on my stomach because I don't enjoy 10+ pounds of cat walking across my chest or my throat.

“Oh you rolled over? That’s a surface I haven’t laid on yet.”

I have a sore back so I would appreciate it if she would pace a few laps across it. But nope. If I roll over onto my stomach, she climbs aboard for full sphinx. Pins me down until I relent.

 

[Kflowers]

small...or large furry heating pad.

 

[duncanmac]

I second the suggestions to COMPLETELY ignore them. But, when Duncan was a kitten he would occasionally hop into bed with us and cry a bit. I figured he was scared or lonely so I would pet him once or twice and then GENTLY press him down to lay down and stop petting him. He would either go to sleep or feel confident enough to go explore.

Another thing that worked for us is that we would get up and do part of our morning routine before feeding them. This way they didn't associate waking up with being fed. Someone else used a second different alarm for the breakfast bell.