Cat stopped sitting in lap after first month home

[Sar259]

Hi everyone! I have a kind of silly question. Back in September, my boyfriend and I adopted our second cat. The rescue wasn't entirely sure of her age, partly because she's tiny, but they estimated she was around eight months, and she would be a little over a year now. When I first brought her home, she was such a lap cat. Any time you sat down near her, she would climb into your lap and hang out, even fall asleep. After the first month or two, she stopped sitting in our laps at all and hasn't done so at all since then.

Has anyone ever experienced something like this? I feel like it's usually the opposite, where the cat might start sitting in laps as they grow more comfortable. I'm wondering if she may have just grown out of it, or if sitting in our laps was a way to feel more secure in a new, scary environment? I'm also dreading the thought that we may have betrayed her trust at all to make her not want to sit in our laps. She still loves playing with us, follows me around the house a lot (although usually because she wants to play), and she seems to enjoy being pet a little more than she used to. Obviously I adore her no matter what and know that she may just not be a lap cat anymore, but I do miss having her sit with me. Has anyone experienced this kind of situation or have any insight?

 

[BNE]

Firstly, welcome! And good on you for adopting a rescue cat!

This is a very strange behaviour indeed. Possibly the most likely scenario is that there has been something that has gone down with your other cat and she isn't happy with you instead of taking it out on the other cat (or she is doing both). I have seen this happen a couple of times. Another likely analogy is that she is some cat version of 'Peter Pan'. She did grow up, but she has decided that she wants to be a playful kitten again; now that she is comfortable and has settled into her new home.

You may want to make some more observations and watch her with the other cat a bit more, and also watch out for playful kitten behaviours!

Hope this helps!

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to TCS. She's your 2nd cat, right? If so, how does she get along with your other cat?

Sometimes, and usually it's when a 2nd cat is adopted, the first cat will not be as "needy" towards their humans, once they become friends with the new cat. So I'm wondering if it's something like that going on with your girl.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. Something else to consider - given your new cat is still fairly young, she sat on your lap at first because she was insecure and felt more comfortable being with you. Assuming - as asked above - that your two cats get along OK, it is very possible that she has gained confidence and no longer needs the 'comfort/security' of your lap. That could very well likely swing back the other way as she matures a bit more. A lot of younger cats are more interested in play/investigating than they are into cuddling.

 

[gilmargl]

Mogi behaved very much like your new kitty. At 4 weeks old, she had been badly abused, thrown into a rubbish skip and was more dead than alive when she was found. After a night spent at the vet's she started to show that she had some life left in her and was fostered out with another, slightly older, cat and a dog. When I went to look at her, two weeks later, she settled on my lap and allowed me to treat her wounds, before falling asleep. I asked if I could adopt her and would bring a carrier the next day to take her home. The woman said - "Take her now!" and lent me a carrier. Mogi sat on my lap that evening, and the next day and then no more! It is now 14 years later. She is a rather frightened cat who hates visitors and loud noises but she's sitting under the table, near my feet as I write and, when the other cats are sleeping elsewhere, will crawl onto my shoulder when I'm in bed.

My theory is that I should have taken a second kitten at the time. She had had no chance to be socialized with her siblings. At her foster home she was petrified of the dog and the other cat and came to me for protection. When she came home, life was at least acceptable even though I already had 2 adult cats. One of them mothered her up to a point, the other ignored her. At first I kept her mainly in the kitchen, but she was soon screaming to come out. She will never be a lap cat, she purrs when stroked, but has never learnt not to bite while purring and head-bumping! She's a poor thing. The cat which mothered her died a few years later, which did set her back quite a bit as she started hiding in cupboards. It's sad that the first weeks of a kitten's life are so important for their later development.

Sorry, I didn't want to frighten you! This doesn't mean that your kitty will be a hopeless case like Mogi. I've had foster cats who are really friendly at first - thankful just to be indoors and fed - and then become more aloof. Young cats are rather fickle anyway as playing and exploring are more important than a nice warm lap. But, in general, as cats get older, they become more likely to sit next to you, behind your back or on your lap.

I hope your kitty decides to reward your kindness with a visit to your lap in the near future!

 

[maggie101]

Hi everyone! I have a kind of silly question. Back in September, my boyfriend and I adopted our second cat. The rescue wasn't entirely sure of her age, partly because she's tiny, but they estimated she was around eight months, and she would be a little over a year now. When I first brought her home, she was such a lap cat. Any time you sat down near her, she would climb into your lap and hang out, even fall asleep. After the first month or two, she stopped sitting in our laps at all and hasn't done so at all since then.

Has anyone ever experienced something like this? I feel like it's usually the opposite, where the cat might start sitting in laps as they grow more comfortable. I'm wondering if she may have just grown out of it, or if sitting in our laps was a way to feel more secure in a new, scary environment? I'm also dreading the thought that we may have betrayed her trust at all to make her not want to sit in our laps. She still loves playing with us, follows me around the house a lot (although usually because she wants to play), and she seems to enjoy being pet a little more than she used to. Obviously I adore her no matter what and know that she may just not be a lap cat anymore, but I do miss having her sit with me. Has anyone experienced this kind of situation or have any insight?

Cats are so different when older. Her personality has changed. Or it could be because most cats or kittens will be close to you once rescued then not
This is Peaches,now seven. She rules my apartment now