Cat Rules About Vets For Humans

puddykat

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Human says to the cat: "We are going to the vet to have you checked."

Cat consults all of his nine lives before he answers the human.

Cat Life #1 says: NO VET
Cat Life #2 says: NO VET
Cat Life #3 says: NO VET
Cat Life #4 says: NO VET
Cat Life #5 says: NO VET
Cat Life #6 says: NO VET
Cat Life #7 says: NO VET
Cat Life #8 says: NO VET
Cat Life #9 says: NO VET

Cat says to human very loudly: "NO VET"

Human says: "It will do you good to get out of the house for a change."

Cat thinks: "Get out of the house? Silly human I can go out the cat door anytime I please. What are you thinking about anyway? Can't you see I am in purfect health?

Cat thinks: "If only the human would understand what we cats have to go thru when you take us to the vet. Here are the cat rules for vets:

1. IT STINKS THERE, DOG SMELLS, MANY OTHER STINKY SMELLS THAT GET OUR FUR UP.

2. TOO MUCH NOISE, BARKING DOGS, CATS MEOWING FOR HELP AND FREEDOM, HUMANS TALKING TO THEIR PETS ALL THE TIME. OUR SENSITIVE EARS CAN'T TAKE TOO MUCH OF THAT.

3. YOU THINK RIDING IN THAT SMALL PRISON YOU CALL A CAT CRATE IS NICE TO RIDE IN?

4. YOU GET TO LOOK OUT THE WINDOW WHEN YOUR DRIVING, ALL I SEE IS THE BACK OF YOUR SEAT, NOT VERY ENTERTAINING WHILE RIDING IN THE CAR, WHY NOT LET US ROAM AROUND WHILE YOU DRIVE?

5. YOU WORRY TOO MUCH, WE CAN FEEL IT WHEN YOU WORRY, CATS ARE SENSITIVE THAT WAY, SO JUST BE HAPPY THAT YOU HAVE US AROUND.

6. IT IS COLD IN THERE TOO, THAT PLACE WHERE THEY PUT US TO PROD AND POKE IS VERY COLD, FOR THOSE PRICES THEY SHOULD HAVE A WARM BLANKET FOR US TO LIE ON.

7. WE REMEMBER EVERY THING THAT HAPPENED ON THAT FIRST TERRIBLE VISIT TO THE VET WHERE THEY PUT NEEDLES INTO US. THAT HURT. WE REMEMBER HURT, DO NOT LIKE BEING HURT, LIKE BEING CUDDLED AND PETTED. 

8. YOUR COMPLAINING ABOUT THE HIGH COST OF GOING TO THE VET, WE COULD HAVE TOLD YOU EVERY THING HE DID FOR JUST THE PRICE OF A NICE FRESH SMALL FISH EVERY DAY FOR A WEEK.

9. READ THIS 9 TIMES AS THAT IS HOW LONG IT WILL TAKE THE HUMAN MIND TO DIGEST CAT TALK.
 
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