My cat is 2 years old. He was a rescue but as we know, did not have a bad upbringing. When I lived alone he would sleep and cuddle with me. Now I live with my boyfriend, going on our 6th month living together. The cat loved him at first. My bf spoiled him with treats, he was the one who fed him, and pet him all night. Started a few weeks ago, my cat hasn't been going near him at all. I started feeding him and being the primary care taker again. When my boyfriend and I are on the bed, my cat will come up to me and be fine, then my boyfriend turns to pet him as well, and he ducks under the bed. He hasn't hissed, but I fear the worst. I don't want to leave either, but this isn't looking great...
-
Too many ads? Join our community of cat lovers now to reduce ads by 90%! Click here to join for free!
Cat Resilient To Boyfriend
- Thread starter Pyroman
- Start Date
We are currently going through the same thing at my house. My adult son has been living here for a couple of years and my Willow enjoyed rubbing up against him when he came home and sometime would stay for some petting. But a couple of weeks ago he rolled her ball to her and it ended up startling her. Ever since she not only wants nothing to do with him but hisses when he comes near. Cats are just like that sometimes. It could be the tiniest thing that your boyfriend did or it could be that the cat heard a noise at some point when the boyfriend was near and so now is not totally keen on him. Just don’t get concerned about the behavior and let the cat naturally change his mind about the bf.
I agree with Susanm2006 - something happened that has eroded trust. it could be as simple as holding him in a way that is unsettling or accidentally stepping on his tail or persisting in a game that the cat doesn't like. Cats want to feel secure and loved especially with their people.
My cat Taz is very sensitive to scent, especially the scent of another cat. He hates strong odors as well.
A change in scent can cause a cat to misidentify someone as they don't smell the same. Any change in your boyfriends life, like a change of jobs, that might make him smell different? New deodorant? Going to a friends house and petting their cat and then coming home with the scent of another cat? I would look for what might have changed about your boyfriend recently that could be bothering the cat. As susanm9006 pointed out, the tiniest thing that seems so insignificant can upset them.
A change in scent can cause a cat to misidentify someone as they don't smell the same. Any change in your boyfriends life, like a change of jobs, that might make him smell different? New deodorant? Going to a friends house and petting their cat and then coming home with the scent of another cat? I would look for what might have changed about your boyfriend recently that could be bothering the cat. As susanm9006 pointed out, the tiniest thing that seems so insignificant can upset them.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #5
I uess I didn't realize just how sensitive a cat can be.. he did switch jobs and I let him start vaping in the house... That's a total sent change for him.
Can your bf go back to being the treat/food giver for a couple of months? Giving foods thaws a cat's heart out 
I hope your cat warms up to him soon.... it might be the vaping.
I hope your cat warms up to him soon.... it might be the vaping.
If he is working with chemicals (cleaners, manufacturing, etc) the cat may never adjust and your boyfriend will have to change clothes and shower to get it off him. If it is not an annoying chemical smell the cat should adjust to his new scent. Maybe get the cat used to the scent of his new job first, if it makes him smell different. Then try vaping at a later date that way not a lot of change all at once.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #8
Update, he started to feed him again, the cat will eat right out of his hand, but that is the only time they will be close. He hides in the litter box or under the couch when he comes home and just watchs. He will cuddle with me in the bed right next to my bf, but if he puts his hand out to pet him, he scurrys...
Aw your poor cat, he sounds terrified of your bf!
The cat probably just needs time to readjust. Nobody can tell you how long it will take because they are like people, no two are exactly the same. If he is approaching your boyfriend then it should just be a matter of time before he fully accepts him again. Make sure your boyfriend doesn't get stressed by it and just calmly takes his time.
