Cat Miscommunication, Not Sure If I'm Helping Or Hurting!

[Rummy]

So, I have two boys! George and Oscar, 5 and 3.5 respectively. They are both very rambunctious boys who have a lot of energy and love to play. George is definitely more energetic though, almost never ending energy lol

They met 2 or 2.5 months ago, we had a bit of a rough introduction but things are mostly smooth now. They do get along, and like to play together but George almost always takes it too far. I know they're having fun but George will either keep pouncing even after Oscar has tried to disengage or he'll bite too hard and upset Oscar. When this happens Oscar gets more vocal hissing and spitting, telling George to stop or that it hurt and George ignores him 80% of the time. Then it escalates and I have to get involved.

Is there NOTHING I can do to teach George manners? I wonder if he was under socialized as a kitten, or he's just stubborn. I know he means no harm, he just wants to play! He seems to be getting confused and frustrated by Oscar, especially because when Oscar vocalized that he's upset, I'm right there pulling George off.

My SO is beginning to think that Oscar does it for attention from me, like "oh look mom! ow!". Because sometimes I pull George off because I heard Oscar hiss and then Oscar comes right back and it happens again! I just want George to learn no means no lol

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi!
For the most part, particularly since you mentioned that Oscar comes right back, they're more playing than fighting.

Are My Cats Fighting Or Playing?

However, can you play with George more? Separately, and also together where you're talking to/interacting with both of them, and use a HISS (look right at George so Oscar doesn't get confused and think the hiss is for him) to stop George when you see he's about to become ornery?

 

[Rummy]

Hi!
For the most part, particularly since you mentioned that Oscar comes right back, they're more playing than fighting.

Are My Cats Fighting Or Playing?

However, can you play with George more? Separately, and also together where you're talking to/interacting with both of them, and use a HISS (look right at George so Oscar doesn't get confused and think the hiss is for him) to stop George when you see he's about to become ornery?

I did read the article before posting, and it is play... until it's not lol sometimes it will escalate to a full fight that I have to intervene.

Would a Pet Corrector work for hissing or should I do it myself?

 

[Furballsmom]

I think first try good strong hisses yourself, and look right at George when you do so that you're being as clear as possible and not confusing Oscar.

I've convinced the neighbor's dog that I mean it when I hiss to get it to stop barking, so a nice strong hiss does work .

 

[susanm9006]

Unless one or the other hides and won’t come out or has to go to the vet for bites, it best just to let them sort it out. Both are capable of delivering a message to the other that they have gone too far. Your interference gets in the way of that

 

[Rummy]

Unless one or the other hides and won’t come out or has to go to the vet for bites, it best just to let them sort it out. Both are capable of delivering a message to the other that they have gone too far. Your interference gets in the way of that

If they were a bonded pair I'd be more inclined to let them work it out, but they're only newly introduced.

Isn't there a greater risk of violence here?

 

[susanm9006]

You posted that when you separate them they come right back to each other. This isn’t the behavior of cats that are enemies or intend to hurt one another. But they are new playmates, and still learning each other’s boundaries they may get angry during play but not to the point where someone is really going to get hurt. When Oscar has had enough he will nip or slap George hard enough so that George gets the message.

 

[danteshuman]

Hmmmmmm my boy Dante took it to far in a ‘I want to dominate you!’...... and a ‘I’m bored, you look like prey so I will jump on you!!!!’ I learned I needed to tire my punk out mentally/physically by letting him hunt birds in my backyard. Then I needed to stop saving the victim cat .... because he learned growling made me come running to ‘save’ him .... which made Salem (victim) use the growl trick to try to take over Dante’s (punk) bed. When my punk didn’t get his outside time he started hunting his brother has I’m trying to sleep.... Salem starts growling real loud and I’m sleepy/crankily telling them both to ‘knock it off!’ Before clapping ensures! Lastly I needed to build up my victim’s cat confidence with one on one play. Dante remained a punk his entire life but my boys started getting along better after Salem stood up for himself. Dante was still dominate but less squabbles (they never fought, just annoyed each other.)

So I would slow the introductions down and only allow them together with supervision. Then play with your hyper boy before letting them be together. I think a couple bird feeders where he can watch them from a window should help. Hopefully in a month your picked on cat will stand up for himself.