Cat Introductions ... Help!

[Aresmini]

I recently adopted a second cat, a sweet 3 month old Maine Coone male, in hopes of giving my resident cat, a 3 year old (almost 4) DSH female, a friend and playmate. I feel like I have been doing everything by the book... but I can’t tell if we’ve made good progress or not. I have had the new addition for almost 4 weeks now.


For the first two weeks, the new kitten stayed in his safe room, and no interaction was made between the two. They obviously could hear and smell each other but that is it. At first my resident cat would hiss at his sounds and scents, but I did scent swapping through petting my resident cat, then petting my new kitten, and going back and petting the resident kitty. I also took shirts with my smell and rubbed each cat with one, and then left the shirt with the opposite cats smell with the opposite cat. I have also put scent baited socks by each cats food. At this point the noise and smell does not seem to have any affect on my resident cat, and she does not hiss at his meowing or his smell.


I have also started swapping rooms, letting the little one explore more of his new home, while letting my resident kitty explore his safe room. At first she was very cautious but now seems way more at ease when she explores his room.

We tried to start doing short visual encounters through a baby gate with a towel draped over it, and at first my resident cat hissed and growled (but from my understanding that is to be expected?). Her ears were not back nor was her hair standing up. We’ve continued these short visual introductions and sometimes she hisses and sometimes she just looks at him curiously. I can tell she is not completely comfortable just yet but some days it’s good and some days it’s bad. She has been slowly getting closer to the gate each time. Little man is all for it and wants to be her friend SO BAD!


Yesterday I don’t know what happened but I feel like we backtracked a bit... I let them look at each other though the gate (without the towel, but the door closed except for a small crack. My resident cat got right up to the gate and they were both very close, and then proceeded to swat the gate twice and growl and hiss. I immediately closed the door and decided to let her relax. Later that evening while room swapping... they started looking at each other from under the door, getting fairly close. My resident cat seemed curious and a bit cautious but not upset. Then my new kitten stuck his paw under the door and my resident cat dove at the door throwing both her paws under... she did this twice before I decided to stop it by tossing a towel in between her and the door. My thing is, I can’t tell if she is being aggressive, territorial, or showing authority... or all 3! She didn’t hiss, her ears weren’t back or hair standing, but it didn’t seem especially playful either. After that encounter she gave me a good hiss and growl when I tried to touch her (my mistake I know).


So I decided to back up a bit and today I fed them by each other, on either side of the door with no visual contact. The door was cracked a bit, but completely covered with a sheet. So they could smell each other and hear each other but not see each other. No negative reactions. I just feel like I am at a bit of a standstill. Scent has no affect on each cat and they seem comfortable with one another’s smells... but when we have short visual introductions... I never know what I am going to get.


My new kitten is so ready to get out and meet his sister (I don’t blame him he has been in his safe room for almost 4 weeks!) but my resident cat doesn’t seem ready yet. Help!

 

[Aresmini]

Also here is a video of the pawing under the door I mentioned above. Sorry there is no sound, but she did not hiss or growl... is she being aggressive?
I’m so stressed out over this. I’ve been very careful to make sure I introduce slowly...

 

[Aresmini]

Well, it won’t let me upload the video so I’ll try stills from th video... I know it’s not the same.

 

[ArtNJ]

Ok, so here is the thing. No matter how pissy the big cat seems, it won't actually hurt the kitten. You've gone by the book for a month, which is long enough with a kitten being introduced. I'd let them out for supervised visits and see how they do. Its totally fine if the bigger cat growls and hisses. Let her get it out of the system. Its even fine the kitten tries to play and she holds him down, play bites his neck and he squeals a bit. This is just teaching the kitten limits...there will not be a wound, and the kitten will come back to the big cat shortly. It can freak people out to watch if the big cat is a tad rough, but introducing a kitten is normally pretty easy and works out well after maybe some wrinkles. Let them do their thing.

 

[Aresmini]

Thank you for your reply! Yes, it is definitely nerve wracking! I guess it really is time to try out supervised visits

 

[KarenKat]

I think this is totally normal, I think the general rule is as long as there is no fur and blood flying (and neither cat is hiding or so stressed they don't eat or use the litterbox) that they will work it out pretty well.

There can be aggression even without sound or ears back. Gohan was chasing our new cat Olive back to her safe room for months because he is extremely territorial. Often the only sound we heard was that little "chirp" that usually precedes a hunt. Olive had no problem growling panther-like when she was caught, but it rarely came to blows. Once he cornered her, Gohan usually walked slowly away. But we had to let this run its course so that they understood she was not going anywhere, and he was not losing his territory.

Your two sound already in better shape, so hopefully you can start having supervised visits. Try always having a toy and treats handy to reward good behavior or distract from bad behavior. I liked how Jackson Galaxy put it -- success is having them both in the same room with no fighting as long as possible, and to (hopefully) have a calm exit. The longer they are in the room together (even if it ends in a chase or fight) the better things are. Always allow a safe path back to their safe rooms.

Also remember that nothing is every like the guides / advice, lol. Gohan could not be distracted from chasing ever for the first few visits, but slowly it gets better!

 

[Aresmini]

I think this is totally normal, I think the general rule is as long as there is no fur and blood flying (and neither cat is hiding or so stressed they don't eat or use the litterbox) that they will work it out pretty well.

There can be aggression even without sound or ears back. Gohan was chasing our new cat Olive back to her safe room for months because he is extremely territorial. Often the only sound we heard was that little "chirp" that usually precedes a hunt. Olive had no problem growling panther-like when she was caught, but it rarely came to blows. Once he cornered her, Gohan usually walked slowly away. But we had to let this run its course so that they understood she was not going anywhere, and he was not losing his territory.

Your two sound already in better shape, so hopefully you can start having supervised visits. Try always having a toy and treats handy to reward good behavior or distract from bad behavior. I liked how Jackson Galaxy put it -- success is having them both in the same room with no fighting as long as possible, and to (hopefully) have a calm exit. The longer they are in the room together (even if it ends in a chase or fight) the better things are. Always allow a safe path back to their safe rooms.

Also remember that nothing is every like the guides / advice, lol. Gohan could not be distracted from chasing ever for the first few visits, but slowly it gets better!

Thank you for the reply! I just so want this to work in the long run, so I am being quite the worrying and anxious cat mom!

 

[Aresmini]

Thank you for the reply! I just so want this to work in the long run, so I am being quite the worrying and anxious cat

I think this is totally normal, I think the general rule is as long as there is no fur and blood flying (and neither cat is hiding or so stressed they don't eat or use the litterbox) that they will work it out pretty well.

There can be aggression even without sound or ears back. Gohan was chasing our new cat Olive back to her safe room for months because he is extremely territorial. Often the only sound we heard was that little "chirp" that usually precedes a hunt. Olive had no problem growling panther-like when she was caught, but it rarely came to blows. Once he cornered her, Gohan usually walked slowly away. But we had to let this run its course so that they understood she was not going anywhere, and he was not losing his territory.

Your two sound already in better shape, so hopefully you can start having supervised visits. Try always having a toy and treats handy to reward good behavior or distract from bad behavior. I liked how Jackson Galaxy put it -- success is having them both in the same room with no fighting as long as possible, and to (hopefully) have a calm exit. The longer they are in the room together (even if it ends in a chase or fight) the better things are. Always allow a safe path back to their safe rooms.

Also remember that nothing is every like the guides / advice, lol. Gohan could not be distracted from chasing ever for the first few visits, but slowly it gets better!

So we have had multiple supervised visits, but it’s hard for me to tell if we are making progress or not! At first my older kitty would hiss at the kitten, but then usually run away or back away to observe from a distance. Also, while the kitten explores around , my older kitty will follow him ... if he runs, she runs... so I don’t know if she is chasing him or merely just curious and wants to know what he is doing in her house. Now the kitten, being a kitten, is starting to try and get my older cat to play and wrestle... he will pounce on her, run right up to her and then flip over and paw at her, etc. and she is not about that right now. She will either give him a quick hiss, swat him softly, and/or run away. Now lately she has started to puff up and that’s typically when we end our meet and greets. Nothing overly crazy has occurred luckily, just some slight hissing, a few swats, and some puffiness. I try to play with both kitties during these meetings but my older cat is just so focused most the time and won’t engage in the play. The kitten for a good bit but still tried to play with my older cat at some point... and then we get to the one running away and one following... and it can go both ways. I’ve tried treats with my older cat but she doesn’t seem to care very much... just wants to keep eyes in the new guy. Now I don’t wanna completely stress out my older cat, but I know they need these interactions. And I also don’t want to do anything that would hinder them at least getting along and being able to tolerate one another (although I’m really hoping for them to bond eventually!) Any advice ? Other things to do while I have these meetings to try and help keep things as stress free as possible? I am thinking g I will try feeding time together, but with distance, tomorrow or maybe later this evening Thanks so much!

 

[KarenKat]

I think my advice is time. To me it sounds like things are going well, and feeding them together is a good thing.

The ignoring treats and play to focus on the new cat was exactly what Gohan did. And because Olive wasn’t sure, she would run and that always caused a chase (it looks like prey to them). Over time, Gohan chased less and less, and Olive realized if she stayed out she’d be ok. We did start feeding them together, I think that does help.

Eventually, Gohan did get distracted by play (and we found one treat that worked). Again, time.

It really does sound like it’s going well, if either of them run forward and then retreat, that’s a good back and forth. Even if it’s not “play”, they are testing boundaries and understanding each of their limits. That’s integration. Thanks for the update!