Cat Introduction Progress + Rough Play (need advice)

[Danneq]

Hello! I am in the process of introducing my cat (Lexi, age 2) to my brother's cat (Braeburn, age 5). At this point, they are separated for most of the day, but interact around dinner time. Braeburn growls whenever Lexi comes too close to him, but he hasn't shown any signs of aggression. Lexi pretty clearly wants to be friends. Mostly she gets just close enough to him that he starts growling at her, and then she lies down and blinks at him. However, sometimes she scoots forward and tries to start a play fight, which he doesn't like at all.

In addition to this I think Lexi was undersocialized as a kitten; she plays very rough. I have slowly been teaching her that my hands are not toys (by yelping and ignoring her when she accidentally hurts me) and she's making progress, but I don't know how to get her to be more gentle with Braeburn.

I thought we were more or less at a good place, still with some ways to go but making good progress. Actually, I still think this, but there is a complication. Tonight, Lexi's claw cut Braeburn very close to one of his eyes. There wasn't anything particularly noticeable about the incident, just one usual, Lexi trying to play and Braeburn telling her to buzz off. It's a very tiny cut, and no one thinks that Lexi was intentionally trying to hurt him, but now everyone is concerned that she might actually get his eye some time, and that would obviously be bad on a number of levels.

So... I'm seeking advice. What do you think? Do I need to step back the introduction? What do I need to modify? How do I teach Lexi that she needs to pull her claws in when she plays?

 

[ArtNJ]

Its not impossible for a cat to accidentally scratch an eye or get the ear exactly the wrong way, but in practice accidental scratches almost never cause any real injury. I don't think you can teach a cat claw discipline, but any cat can have a one off accident and it doesn't necessarily mean anything. About all you can do is cut the cat's nails if the cat is not doing a sufficient job managing them on its own. I very much try to never do that. Some people get the cats trained just right, but I've always found it super unpleasant, and for most cats, its not necessary if you get them using scratching posts. Nail caps are a related solution that its best to avoid if you can. But if you need too, you need too. Not clear you do, but check the nail length.

What introduction process have you been using? I personally dont find putting cats together for short intervals to be the best way to go. It might work, but or the most part when cats are ready to interact, I find they need real and substantial time together to make progress. But without knowing what you've already done for how long, and how the cats reacted, its really hard to say anything much.

The other thing to keep in mind is that its not always possible to get where an older cat likes a younger cat, is willing to play, or doesn't hiss. Sometimes that is as good as it gets via an introduction process, and you need to let the cats work on things from there. I call it the long slow road to toleration. Its not ideal, but as long as the cats are not interested in actually fighting for real, things typically slowly improve over time. Some people do introduction processes of months, but I don't think that makes any sense absent unusual levels of stress or aggression, which you don't seem to have.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Could not agree more with A ArtNJ if I tried. Sometimes peaceful coexistence is the best you get, and you're most of the way there now. And even cats who are good friends will have occasional "heated discussions," which may include hissing, growling, and some swats. My rule of thumb is, "If there is no blood on the floor, no puddle of pee, and no fur in the air, it was all talk, and not a cat fight." Their heated discussions can sound really scary, but rarely lead to actual fights.

 

[Danneq]

I hadn't even thought about her nails. Yes, they do need to be trimmed. I'll work harder to keep on top of that.

I will completely accept peaceful coexistence! What I don't want is for him to start to hide because he thinks she's not safe.

As to the introduction process, I'm working around some complications. I co-own the house with my sister-in-law; I live on the first floor, the middle floor is communal, and they live on the top floor. For a number of reasons that are primarily human hangups, we intend to have our pets follow the same layout. (I am 100% aware that ideally cats should have access to 100% of the house, but sometimes you have to make compromises to keep the peace of the house. Also, they have plants on their floor that Braeburn ignores but Lexi will try to eat, and it could hurt her.) This will require microchip-controlled cat doors, but those are expensive. I hope to have some in the next couple of months. So, in the meantime, Lexi stays downstairs with me except for dinnertime, when everyone is on the communal floor. (Neither she nor Braeburn are forced to join us, obviously; they both want to be on whatever floor their people are on.) I know it's not a perfect solution.

I have been trying to follow the recommended process (base camp, introducing each cat to the other's scent, site swapping on the communal floor, etc.) My SIL didn't want to put in a screen door, but the living room is big enough that it worked out okay, when we got to that stage I started feeding them from about twenty feet apart and have been moving them closer. It's been a few months at this point.

My goal is to have Braeburn not growl at her all the time (not to never growl at her, but with him doing it 100% for half an hour without stopping, the noise upsets my nephew who is two and doesn't really understand what it means). I figure, he's got to stop growling at her eventually, right? Sometime in the next twenty years, pretty please? If we can get to the point where he only growls at her when she's being obnoxious to him, and he doesn't try to hide from her, I'll consider it a success.

That was long and rambly. Am I making sense?

 

[ArtNJ]

If they are eventually going to be living entirely separate lives, why are you forcing them to come together with the feedings? All of that said, things don't sound so bad, and its possible you could make progress like this, even though I think you'd do better if you could arrange it so that they spent more time in proximity.

 

[Danneq]

Not entirely separate -- they'll share the communal floor like everyone else. I agree, they need more time together.