Cat introduction is becoming impossible when the cats won't let me follow the steps. What should I d

[newcatmommy]

A little about me and my fur babies - I'm a graduate student living alone and I wanted a stress-relieving companion so I went to the local pound and brought home Lucy, a now 9-month-old calico. I've only had her for 2 and a half months but we bonded extremely quickly. She purrs as soon as I walk in the door and can play with me for hours. However, this little girl is a stage 5 clinger! I work a lot from home since I'm writing my thesis and it's impossible to get any work done. She's so needy and will sit on my laptop and bug me incessantly.

So I decided to get her a playful friend to keep her company and help get her energy out. I brought home Salem, a 3-month-old tortie, 5 days ago. Salem came from a home with other cats so she immediately warmed up to Lucy and wants to play but Lucy isn't having any of it.

I live in a tiny apartment and right now I have Lucy in the main area and Salem in my room. The first 2 nights I slept with Salem and after reading posts on here about cat introductions in a small apartment I decided to switch that cats during the night so Lucy could sleep with me.

Now to my problem (such a long intro. Sorry!). Lucy is in that intermediate stage where she's no longer afraid enough of Salem to stay away from my room, but she doesn't trust her enough to be in the same room as her. I couldn't fall asleep until 2am last night because the cats kept tearing up the carpet by my bedroom door and no matter which cat was in my bedroom, they always wanted out. It's getting hard to keep them separated because they keep escaping and they don't like my door being closed. I have a big presentation I have to give tomorrow and I need a good night sleep! Should I move back a step to keep the peace or should I let them roam free for a day and let them hash it out? I know the correct answer is the latter but realistically it's becoming unbearable to keep the separated. I need a good night's sleep, dang it!

 

[newcatmommy]

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• newcatmommy
• Mar 24, 2016

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• newcatmommy
• Mar 24, 2016

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• newcatmommy
• Mar 24, 2016

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• newcatmommy
• Mar 24, 2016

Here are some pics of my sweet kitties!

 

[mani]

  Sorry it's taken a while to get to you, @newcatmommy and welcome to TCS! 

I hope you did get some sleep! 

It really is best to go back a step, but you knew I was going to say that.

 

 

[foxxycat]

welcome to our corner!

If they are eating side by side I would say let them roam. you can always get babygates and block the door so they can look at each other but sounds like they want to have free roaming.

in my house we dont have closed doors..they would dig up the carpet. and I have a young female always chasing another...

did you get some sleep? They are beautiful babies!

 

[newcatmommy]

I did get some sleep that night! I took Salem to the vet and found out she had roundworms and an overgrowth of bacteria in her gut so I've been keeping her in the bathroom during the night while Lucy has the rest of the apartment. That's been working out much better.

But now Lucy is getting extra aggressive with Salem. The most she ever did before this week was swatting at Salem but now Lucy will chase Salem around and bully her. It's like the longer I have Salem, the more unhappy Lucy becomes. Yet they can share food out of the same bowl and they play under the door every day. It seems as though as long as Lucy is distracted by food or there's a door separating the cats, she's fine but as soon as she sees Salem and she doesn't have food to distract her, she becomes such a bully! So I'm still not sure if I should separate them or not. I don't want Lucy to get into the habit of always expecting to be separated from Salem.

 

[cat nap]

Hi @newcatmommy   ...your cats are gorgeous, and also very young.  Being at 9 months and 3 months, they are still in the kitten stages, therefore full of abundant energy, and will be doing a lot of fun shenanigans around your apartment. Don't worry, though, they will learn to settle, and behave, for the most part, with some gentle reminding.

Cats love to play at night, so 2 am seems like the ideal time in my home, too. The thing you will want to do is try to tire both cats out, especially Lucy, before going to bed, by playing interactive games like using 'da bird', ping pongs, throwing even crumpled papers down for the cats to chase, getting puzzle treat balls...where the kittens can try to get at the treats...etc.

You will have to get quite creative, in making up games that your two furballs will love.

I'm not sure if either cat is spayed, yet...so after doing this, their hormones will settle too, and they should be less aggressive.

But I think that one of the reasons that Lucy may have initially been afraid of Salem, is because you mentioned that Salem had roundworms and bacteria in her gut. Cats are actually amazing, in the fact that one cat can pick up, through scent and body language, that another cat is unwell. Lucy may have initially picked up that your Salem had the roundworms and bacterial overgrowth, so she instinctively had to protect herself by avoiding the 'newcomer.'  (that is just my opinion, though.)

Now, you mentioned that Lucy is 'getting aggressive with Salem'. 

Do you think it's aggression, or just still picking up on the scent of the meds given to Salem and the vet visit smells, as well?

Or do you think that it is more like 'rough playing' by kittens?

I would suggest letting them play, if Salem is fully well, and keeping an eye on their play.

If you find that Lucy does indeed always play too rough, then you can distract her with toys, or give her some 'time-outs' in her own space.

As Salem grows, though, she may very well stand up to Lucy, and become confident in her play.

Play is the way that all cats learn to socialize, and behave with each other, and with us, too, so at 2-7months, it is so important to have the most learning time, ever, to play, make mistakes, and learn.

You will also hear some 'cat play fights' going on...but this would also be normal...unless loud posturing, fur flying, deep scratches, blood being drawn,  happen.

(PS...I chuckled at your photo of Lucy in the fridge...but one of my friends had actually accidentally shut the door on his cat, in the middle of the night, when he was tired. Luckily, his cat meowed loudly. So he warned me to be careful, with any small kittens or cats.  He was right, since one of mine tried getting in...before I closed the door. I cannot believe how fast these cats of ours, can be. We turn around and they vanish. Now, I double and triple check everything. Hoping that your thesis goes well, and that you'll have plenty of  fun and relaxing times, too.  Your cats will entertain you, beyond words...so take a lot of photos, since they grow up too fast. Good Luck.)

 

[newcatmommy]

cat nap I tire them both out before bed as much as I can. Lucy is fixed but Salem isn't yet. I think you could be right that Lucy could sense Salem was sick. I just gave Salem her last round of antibiotics yesterday and she's still a little sick so I'm sure she's still picking up on that. I think Lucy can also sense that Salem is weak right now from being ill so she picks on her. Hopefully when Salem is healthy she will stand up for herself! But right now Salem is so calm that she doesn't react much to Lucy's attacks. She just sits there and stares at her haha.

I hope they get along soon! It's like they're ALMOST to that point but not quite. Lucy is fine with Salem being around for a minute or two but then she starts being aggressive. I do think the aggression is Lucy being territorial and not just rough play because her fur puffs up and she gets that ridge on her back.

LOL Lucy loves getting into the fridge!! She gets herself into the weirdest places, Idk how she does it haha. I always have to triple check too. I'm paranoid I'll accidentally close her into the pantry or something!

 

[onirin]

Unfortunately these things seem to take time .Mine took 2 months and most posts I read seem to be awhile.

As for your carpet and door, one of my cats also scratches the heck out of this.  She started doing it during introductions (and now does it whenever a door is closed).  We bought a plastic mat to fit under it. We have a plastic mat that is for a shower and another plastic mat which is for dog bowls.  She will still try to get at the door but quickly realizes she cat and stop.

The addittude from Lucy is pretty normal.  I've seen a lot of topics om relationship changes after going to the vet.  Take it back a step and keep them apart.

Also I know time isnt really something you have but this really helped me.  When we were finally to the stage of letting the interact without gates everything was great the first few times, then the resident cat was becoming more and more moody with every introduction.  I was in a panic thinking we were going backwards.  After talking the the shelter they gave us something to try.  We did MUCH shorter interaction times.  The problem was 30min - 1 hour was stressing out our kitty.  Instead we did several 10 min sessions.  The moment there was too much hissing or even a single growl we put the new cat away.  Always end on a good note.  This seemed to help my resident cat be less stressed than longer sessions.

I know your looking for a quicker resolve to this but the truth is as cat owners we have to run on their time. If they arnt ready to be left alone they just arnt.  

I dont believe in letting them hash it out (at this early stage) It could set you back to square one.  The process may seem long but rushing it could end up making the whole thing 3 times longer then it first needed to be.

To summarize heres some things I would try....

1. Plastic mat under the door.

2. ignore any meowing to get out, responding to meows too much could lead to bad habits

3. continue playing before bed

4. feed them before bed (hunt, eat, sleep is a cats cycle)

5. shorter interaction sessions

6. more site swapping

Hope that helps.

 

[catpack]

So, in general, there can only be one queen per house. Not to say that these girls cannot learn to get along; but, I definitely would have suggested you get a male kitten instead of a female.

With that said, my initial thoughts are that Lucy is trying to make sure that Salem knows who the boss is. Now the question is, is Salem going to be submissive to this or not as she gets older.

I agree, best to take a step back. Try to keep Lucy's routine as normal as it was prior to Salem coming in as possible. O onirin has given you some excellent advice above!

 

[newcatmommy]

Thanks O onirin ! I think shorter introduction times will help a lot because Lucy is always fine with Salem being out for a few minutes before she gets stressed. I'll go back a step to only keeping the door open when they're eating and then I'll do very short interaction times and slowly increase the time.

It's so hard to ignore the meowing because I feel so bad for whichever cat is benign ignored but I know I need to stop being such a softy!

 

[cat nap]

@cat nap I tire them both out before bed as much as I can. Lucy is fixed but Salem isn't yet. I think you could be right that Lucy could sense Salem was sick. I just gave Salem her last round of antibiotics yesterday and she's still a little sick so I'm sure she's still picking up on that. I think Lucy can also sense that Salem is weak right now from being ill so she picks on her. Hopefully when Salem is healthy she will stand up for herself! But right now Salem is so calm that she doesn't react much to Lucy's attacks. She just sits there and stares at her haha.

I hope they get along soon! It's like they're ALMOST to that point but not quite. Lucy is fine with Salem being around for a minute or two but then she starts being aggressive. I do think the aggression is Lucy being territorial and not just rough play because her fur puffs up and she gets that ridge on her back.

LOL Lucy loves getting into the fridge!! She gets herself into the weirdest places, Idk how she does it haha. I always have to triple check too. I'm paranoid I'll accidentally close her into the pantry or something!

Fur puffing up, and some 'play postering' is not necessarily aggression...but if it looks 'rough' to you, then you are probably right.

I didn't notice that you said only five days had gone by, with the initial cat intros,...so probably wise to take @Onirin, @Mani, and @Cat Pack's advice, and step back a few stages.

With kittens, I believe that the 'window for socializing and play' is a bit different than for older cats, but taking things slower, and using "Onirin's" advice of shorter meeting sessions seems very useful.

Having Salem fully off her antibiotics, and not smelling strangely to Lucy, will help, too.

Plus, what @CatPack mentioned about 'cat hierachies/cat dynamics' is good to remember.

(Oh, and yes, I also accidentally did close one of my cats, downstairs, in the pantry. He followed me to the basement, into the cellar/pantry and I did not notice. An hour later, I wondered where he was.

So yes, triple checking is now the norm...over here.)

Here's hoping that Lucy gets to mellow out a bit, from being tired with playing, and eating at night...like Onirin advised...and does not bully Salem, anymore.

 

[zed xyzed]

beautiful kitties, welcome to the site

 

[newcatmommy]

cat nap I didn't realize cats still puff up like that during play. I've always had cats growing up but Lucy and Salem are the first pets I've had on my own and I'll admit I'm a total helicopter mom! I'm so quick to worry that my kitties are stressed but I'm sure they're okay.

 

[cat nap]

@cat nap I didn't realize cats still puff up like that during play. I've always had cats growing up but Lucy and Salem are the first pets I've had on my own and I'll admit I'm a total helicopter mom! I'm so quick to worry that my kitties are stressed but I'm sure they're okay.

Well, I cannot speak for anyone else's cats, but some of my previous rainbow cats, and the young ones (10 months old now)...sure did get their fur up.

They looked like semi- 'halloween cats' with straight up fur, side to side jumps, and 'rush and tumbles'.

Try looking at their ears, the way they flatten them, or spin them around, and how their eyes look, and you can usually tell, it they are playing or not.

 Also the amount of time, that they stay in these positions.

The worst, for me,  was when they would growl, yowl, or vocalize.

Then I got worried, too. I'd rush into a room, and see two cats tumbling, bunny kicking, or wresting about.

(The young ones I have now, are all siblings, though, so it perhaps is different. They are 10 months old, and generally get along, but still 'play fight' and sometimes seem to get at it, too roughly.

I only intervene, if the vocalizations seem too loud, and the one on top, seems to not be letting up. But for the most part, they manage to 'respect' each other, when the opposing cat cries out.

Sometimes, the one you think is 'weaker' is actually the one who instigates the 'play fight'. Or ends up getting back at the first cat later, when sleeping.)

It's great that you are a 'helicoper mom'...lol. 

  (I think we're all like that, a bit.)  

It just means you care, a lot, about your cats' well-being, and want the best for both of them. 

Asking questions, and learning from each other, is what this Site is all about.

(Of course, then you have to take the good advice, and apply it, and have patience, and see what works.)

But if you see that Lucy or Salem is stressed, then re-evaluate, and re-do some steps. Making them both comfortable is your goal.

I find re-reading some of the Articles in the 'Article Section' here, also very helpful. They may trigger further ideas to try, and let some of the principles sink-in.

http://www.thecatsite.com/atype/43/Cat_Behavior

One thing that Onirin mentioned, was ending all good interactions on a positive note. This is very important, and you can do it with some treats, or with some favourite wet food, toys, etc.

(ps...'quick to worry'...is another trait, that I think most of us have, especially if our cats are involved.)