Cat intro. Need encourgament and how to interpret body language

[Void<3]

Hi!

We (my boyfriend and I) have two cats, I’ll reference to them as resident cat (RC) and new cat (NC). Our RC is a 1 1/2 female and NC is a 2 year old female. RC was our foster cat who we ended up adopting. She has been around other fosters we have had, and it has usually been good, except for our last foster who attacked her a few times and made her very scared of new cats. But since we know she enjoys company of other cats, we decided to stop fostering and just adopt one permanent instead.

So we adopted New Cat almost two months ago. She had been living with two male cats in her foster home and they got along. NC has a lot of energy and is kinda ‘fearless’. We did the slow intro, Jackson Galaxy style. So after a few weeks (3 or so) we did let them interact without barriers, ending up with new cat chasing recident cat. RC, super scared and prey-like, of course running away, hissing and growling. Then she would just stay hidden in a hiding place and not come out until NC was put in another room. NC would also swat at her in her hiding place and not really respect her hisses.

Now they are back to baby gates, and we are trying to build up RC’s confidence. So I would like some insight on how to understand the behaviour of our New Cat.

She has never hissed or growled at RC. They can eat fine next to each other, but when meal time is over NC will approach/run towards our RC and the chasing will start. She will lay next to RC besides her in her hiding spot. (Why??) She swats at her. With the baby gates, NC will lay on one side of the barrier, staring at RC with dilated pupils and swishing tail. She will also try to Get through the gate. NC is very playful, so she might just want to play? Or is she becoming a bully? Territorial?

Im playing with them when they are on each side of the gate, and that is working really well. They can be quite close and play with wands. But I’m pretty sure if we take the barriers down, chasing and swatting will happen, and RC will be the timid scared cat again. Luckily both are playful and food motivated. But there are times where I can not redirect NCs attention away from RC.

Just looking for people to talk with since it is just such a hard process and it’s really all I can think about these days.

 

[Furballsmom]

except for our last foster who attacked her a few times and made her very scared of new cats. But since we know she enjoys company of other cats, we decided to stop fostering and just adopt one permanent instead.

Hi
It's these two comments that have me confused as to why you adopted a cat, when you know for a fact that your resident cat has become very scared. Why not just continue to foster, where you have the option of taking a cat back if it is scaring your resident cat?

NC would also swat at her in her hiding place and not really respect her hisses.

NC will lay on one side of the barrier, staring at RC with dilated pupils and swishing tail. She will also try to Get through the gate.

From everything you've said in your post, this sounds like more than trying to be playful. I don't think the current, new cat is a good fit for your resident cat. Stress like this is hard on cats that are timid/shy/fearful, because they don't have any relief from it. Sure, there are calming products of all sorts and varieties, and Cat Music, but the new cat is being too assertive.

 

[Void<3]

Hi, we decided to stop fostering so that she would not need to go through a lot of introductions, because the are the introduction periods that are hard on her. So yes, we could keep fostering, until the right fit came along, but that could also give her a lot of stress, with many introductions. We have had earlier fosters who she has gotten along with, and the shelter we were fostering for generally recommends indoor cats to be in pairs, so that is why we decided to adopt.

But yes, it might not be a right fit. Although, energy level wise, they are kind of the same, just that RC is shy among new cats. And with the baby gates up, RC is not really that scared of NC. No hisses. And can be close to her while playing, eating, and lays on her side chilling while she is on the other side. Might be because she knows she can’t get through though.

Another sign of what has made us confused of the intentions of the new cat, is that we have seen her roll around in front on RC while she has been in one of her hiding spots.

With all being said, we also have the possibility to return NC to the shelter. We just wanted to give it a good try before doing that.

 

[Void<3]

And thank you for your reply

 

[Alldara]

If you do want to continue along trying I'll just quote this little portion, "our last foster cat who attacked her a few times."

Your cat feels she can't trust you to keep her safe. She needs that baby gate to feel safe. You made a good decision for her to stop fostering. She needs time to rebuild trust with you and your boyfriend. Not having a revolving door of other cats will help with that.

How long between you ending fostering and you adopting a cat? Did you give her time to decompress? She's very young so I'm thinking maybe not. You mentioned you continued fostering until you found a second cat to adopt so if I'm understanding right, she didn't have any time off. You had good intentions but she couldn't understand those. She only sees the actions.

Personality match
There's more than just energy to consider here especially when a fearful cat is involved. (Bold won't remove anymore please don't mind it.) RC needs to be the boss. So a timid, nonreactive younger/smaller cat would be a better fit. But if you do decide to return NC, RC needs a good long period of decompression and confidence building.



so, we've got not great timing and perhaps not the perfect fit. That means a looooong introduction and a very slow, careful introduction at RC's speed. You'll need to continue scent swapping throughout. Site swapping is also helpful. You have two people so playing with RC in NC's space will build confidence too.
RC should also get some time in a day to observe NC playing to learn NC's play language.


your barrier free interactions will probably start as you being the barrier and sitting in a doorway while feeding both on each side of you. If NC finishes eating first, using your hands to physically block her from moving towards RC. If she can't be distracted by a toy or treat toss, then you get up and close the door to let RC eat in peace. Teaching NC to walk away and RC that you will now protect her and will not allow other cats to bully her.

Clicker training both cats will also be super helpful. Especially NC.

 

[Void<3]

Thank you for your reply! Maybe I was a bit unclear, we did not continue fostering. We returned our last foster cat (who attacked RC) in August. Then we did not have any cats, until our now adopted New Cat, which we adopted in December. She was not our foster, but was in a different foster home where she got along with the two other cats. The foster home said that NC respected hisses and kept her distance to their cats. We have not been seeing that here (could be many reasons for that I guess).

thank you for your tips! We do site swap a lot. Although NC prefers the living room, and meows a lot while being in the other rooms. They sleep in each others «spots» while site swapped.

I really want it to work, but of course, if it does not get any better I will have to return her. And I’m not sure I will put my RC cat through a new introduction process with a new cat any time after this

 

[Void<3]

We will definitely stop NC from approaching RC after meal times. She will not ALWAYS go to her after the meals, one time, RC was finished first and then started to eat from NC plate, and then NC just backed off. Not always easy to understand them!

 

[Alldara]

I really found for Nobel that using my body in between really helped him to know that I was protecting him.

So any interaction without a gate one of us stayed next to him, focused on him. Either played a little bit always keeping the eye out to be able to block the other cat.

 

[Void<3]

Thank you, will absolutely do that when trying without the gate again! <3

We are not ready to give it up just yet. We have had SOME (smaller) progress the last 7 weeks. And RC seems OK after they have had not so great interactions. After NC is put in another room, it takes maybe 5-10 minutes but then she is walking around with her tail up again. And she has never actually been hurt by her. But she is our first priority. Another thing is that I have been very nervous when they have been together without barriers which I will really work on until next time

 

[Alldara]

Just keep in mind that barrier free time starts small and with distractions. You can end it at any time. One minute might be your goal at first.

Cal kept gate-hopping to Ghost and that's what it was. 30 seconds, remove Cal. 1 minute while Ghost is playing, remove Cal. Cal watches from the cat tree for two minutes, remove Cal. Magnus joins, add other human give 30 seconds and remove cats. Again, Ghost is playing and distracted, let them watch for two minutes, sniff a bit and remove cats.

The cat calming music can help as well. Even with human anxiety. Honestly, when I do intros I basically spend all my free time doing barriered introductions. So they get used to seeing one another quickly and it can reduce the hyper focus on one another. My wife and I even ate lunch sat on the floor at the gate. Each of us on either side of the gate giving attention to whoever is with us from post-dinner to bed preparation time. It's a bit extreme but it works for us.

 

[ArtNJ]

I'm pretty sure that new cat wants to play. Many two year olds might as well still be one year olds, and retain that play-crazy drive.

Its a tricky thing. Because face to face is always going to be a higher level. And when you have an active playful cat and a fearful cat, then no matter how long the gate is up, months, whatever, there will still be stress that they need to work through at the end. So get the idea of orchestrating a perfect introduction process to remove all stress out of mind. It won't happen. Rather, the goal is to have the gate step get out as much stress as possible, so that at the face-to-face, they won't actually fight, and are in position to work through it mostly on their own, with whatever support and confidence building can be done.

Given the ages, if you can support them enough so that they don't actually ever fight for real, then there is every chance they will get to friendship. I don't mean to take away all the good ideas people have for providing support and helping, that stuff can help, but in the final analysis, time together will be the biggest factor.

When you do put them together, be wary of what I call The Christmas Morning Effect. Which is when you think that you should start with short meetings, and so each and every interaction the new cat thinks its Christmas Morning and is raring to play. This also means that resident cat never sees new cat be chill, which is important. So while you definitely need to supervise until your sure they won't fight for real, when the time comes for face-to-face, you do want to get to 24/7 (with breaks for love and confidence building) as quickly as is safe.

If one cat is actually hurting another, then generally no amount of time will allow them to work through it. So its important to prevent accidental escapes and the like. All of that said, I think everyone on here has probably had accidental escapes, so you don't have to feel terrible about what happened last time. A young cat can get over that with time. Managing this stuff is hard, but you'll get there. Chances for friendship remain very good!

 

[Void<3]

Thank your for your perspectives! I guess that is what we tried for, just let them interact, but it might have been a bit early. And RC just hid, so it was not that much progress. It was only a couple of evenings we tried though.

NC do have crazy play drive. She runs around playing, and loves to do parkour around the . She also follow us wherever we go. The vet had only estimated her age, but she do behave like a kitten sometimes. So I’m really hoping that she does just want to play with RC, but I think it’s hard to tell. Not that it matters that much for RC, she sees her attempts as threatining anyways. But I think it would be more challenging if she is just wants to bully RC around and be dominating. Not sure if it’s possible to tell before actually letting them roam around.

Maybe I can keep the thread in case I need some advice moving forward. You all seem like people with much knowledge and experience.

 

[Furballsmom]

Maybe I can keep the thread in case I need some advice moving forward

Of course

 

[Void<3]

So last week we just did interactions by the baby gate. Lots of playing, which they both loved. I think RC is a bit more secure now, there has been no hisses. When NC turns her back or RC sees that NC is not looking, RC will come all the way up to the gate. NC will usually go back to the gate when she sees RC, and sometimes jump the gate standing on her back paws. It does not look overly aggressive, no sounds. But she can also do the wiggle butt and then pounce on RC. NCs tail is sometimes up when approaching her, sometimes swishing.

Today we tested feeding without gates again. I sat between them, and my partner had a toy ready to be able to distract NC. NC finished first, but she licked her bowl nice and clean while RC was still eating. Then she wanted to go up to her (or eat her food ). But her tail was up at least. So my boyfriend took out the wand toy and played a bit with her. Worked well. When RC was finished she took a few steps back, but did not go into her usual hiding spot. But I think that was because she was intrigued by the wand toy they were playing with. I suggested that we ended it there and my boyfriend directed the wand toy in to NCs basecamp. But then RC came, almost running, after them, also wanting to play with the toy! I got scared and asked them to close the door. I tried to stay calm though… NC did not notice her. Pretty sure NC would approach/chase/try to play with RC if she was noticing her running after them. Is it wrong of me to interfere here? I think she would hate if NC started to chase her again. And I don’t want NC to be surprised by RC suddenly running right behind her…

 

[Furballsmom]

It's fine that you stopped things at that point. Just keep doing what you're doing, it sounds to me as though you two have a very good plan that's working.

 

[Hellenww]

NC has a lot of energy and is kinda ‘fearless’.

The different energy/personalities is a big issue. I'm not sure how you deal with that since you can't change their personality. Rc might be better off with a calmer companion. Maybe a few years older and a little lazy.

 

[Void<3]

They both have a lot of energy, but RC takes a lot of time to warm up to new cats, while NC do not it seems. We know it is not a perfect match. But we don’t really want to return her as of now, they have not been given a proper shot yet I feel like, and progress has been made. It will probably take a while, but we are hoping while building up resident cats confidence and trying to do things at her pace that she will be less scared of the new cat, and maybe (hopefully) see her as a playmate

 

[Alldara]

They both have a lot of energy, but RC takes a lot of time to warm up to new cats, while NC do not it seems. We know it is not a perfect match. But we don’t really want to return her as of now, they have not been given a proper shot yet I feel like, and progress has been made. It will probably take a while, but we are hoping while building up resident cats confidence and trying to do things at her pace that she will be less scared of the new cat, and maybe (hopefully) see her as a playmate

I think it was also a good time because you stopped it while it was still positive
Besides taking time to reset yourself is a perfectly valid reason to take a break.

That's also huge that RC felt she could go play as well. She's learning NCs body language for sure. Great job!