Cat Herding?

[KavKit]

My cat seems to hate when my S.O. and I are in separate rooms. He meows and yowls and goes back and forth between us until we are in the same room together again then calms down. He will do it for hours if one of us is teleworking or playing video games or doing laundry. It’s really annoying- cute but annoying- and we don’t know how or when it started. Thoughts on how to fix it?

 

[ArtNJ]

Tricky because normally the best way to deal with stuff like this is ignore it and make sure there is no reinforcement. But if your just moving about the house in your normal life, the cat might miscronstrue it as a response to his "request" and thereby reinforce the behavior. Its like when a cat is meowing at the bedroom door and you have to get up and go to the bathroom -- a corrundrum!

 

[FeebysOwner]

I don't know what I am about to suggest is all that 'valuable' but if your cat is not a cuddler or doesn't like to be picked up, you can do what I do with Feeby when she goes into a similar mode (more to do with just me being some place other than where she thinks I should be). I pick her up, kiss on her, and carry her to a location where she likes to hang out, set her down, and then go back to what I was doing. Most of the time that works, as I am sure she is afraid she will be picked up and 'loved on' yet again if she complains. It doesn't stop her from doing it daily, but it does stop her from doing it repeatedly that day. I feel bad to do that to her, but I have no other way that I know of to let her know she is OK without me being exactly where she wants me to be.

If your cat is a cuddler, it still might work. The other thing to consider is setting up comfy spaces for him in each of the rooms and place him there, perhaps with adding some worn, unwashed clothing (from both of you) in those areas, so he can feel like you are both present even when you are not.

 

[susanm9006]

Sounds like she had a very strong opinion that she doesn’t like splitting her time between the two of you! It is best to ignore her commands but she sounds pretty persistent. Each of you should have a comfortable spot close to you and you can try baiting it with a couple treats or some catnip to see if that makes her stick around at one place or the other for at least a while.

 

[di and bob]

I would try to distract her with an interactive toy or a kickeroo that can be thrown in her direction. She must feel 'abandoned' or lonely when you are apart. She needs to gain a little independence or confidence, this usually comes with ignoring her most times, but responding once verbally to her needs, saying "I'm here, what do you want?" As she gains confidence, she will be less dependent on you for entertainment.

 

[Nice Loki]

She needs to gain a little independence or confidence, this usually comes with ignoring her most times, but responding once verbally to her needs, saying "I'm here, what do you want?"

I have an anxious cat who cries whenever she "loses" me around the house (usually when I have gone upstairs to bed).
She will sit downstairs crying until I call to her from my bedroom. She will then come upstairs bringing her favourite toy upstairs with her, talking to me all the while. Then she jumps up onto the bed and is content. This happens every night.
Then at some point during the day she will go upstairs and we have the same in reverse, she talks until I reply back to her, then she will bring her toy back downstairs and come and look at me.
She does stop crying when I talk back to her.
I have always talked to my cats though, so maybe she expects it, no idea.

It may work for your boy, just a thought.

 

[KavKit]

Thank you all for the advice! He actually gets sooo much play. I try and play with him for a good 30mins 2x a day. And we have another cat, she’s old and doesn’t play but they still interact. He also has two electronic toys. And he goes on leashed outdoor hikes.

None of it seems to curb his neediness. I think the best option may be to ignore the meowing? I tried the call and response method thinking he just wants to know where we are, but I think I ended up reinforcing the bad behavior. Maybe I should only give him praise and attention when he is calm or quiet? But man it’s hard, a test of wills. He has more perseverance than I!