Cat distant since new kitten

[Hobiflowery]

I can see you're certainly an overthinker but I am ecstatic that all that overthinking,worrying and fuss is over Sammy & Milo!!!!!You are a pet parent,you're supposed to be concerned about EVERYTHING - so don't even give that a second thought,not here with the rest of your own kind,lol
Your 2 are doing wonderfully and don't forget that your Sammy is getting past those terrible twos ( lol) he's maturing and hes also adjusting to a new family dynamic- even if he's less cuddly at times does not mean he feels any differently towards you --- Pat yourself in the back,doing a fine job
I hope it's okay that I mention one thing ,please don't take offense because it is not meant to offend but to encourage....you talked earlier about "scolding" Sammy-theres much better ways to discourage undesirable behavior without scoldings,cats only associate scolding with your being angry or displeased AT them & don't understand WHY....So just for future,if ever- don't yell at Sammy,this can break trust and instill fear,it can very well be part of the reason Sammy backed off from being affectionate ( or not) but it's worth considering
We, humans often "react' ...... Just try to remember that kitties don't understand--- I've had people tell me "oh yes he does,when I yelled at him he knew exactly what he did and was ashamed,he hid".... So you see,they don't ", reason "as we do and there's better more positive ways to reinforce good behavior ....I hope you receive my words as they are intended,for good and for the best relationship you and your fur babies can have

Yes I love those two very much, when it comes to Sammy I am always especially worried because he's like a soul cat for me, so his happiness and health are always a priority for me, my boyfriend feels the same way. He's the most loving and sweetest kitty we ever had. He's been always here for me to comfort me when I'm sad.

But I'm also already deeply in love with Milo, he adapted a lot from Sammy too. He too is a really chatty and very cuddly boy and he purrs sooo loud when he's just near you. They make greater progress everyday, yesterday they laid both on me for the first time without Sammy being jealous or leaving.

While Sammy plays a lot less with me, I don't mind. I love seeing them chase each other through the whole apartment. He's finally getting all those cat interactions I only could imitate. As for being cuddly, it feels like its completely back to normal. He loves being carried like a baby again and all those bed cuddles. And every time I play PC games, he insists laying on the table in my arm.

And don't worry, no offense taken! We don't scream at him but we do say a firmly "Sammy, no, don't do that". Mostly we try to avoid having to tell him no by changing things like taping the bathroom bin up so he can no longer empty it or moving the the onion sack to a different spot where he can no longer get it out.

The only thing we can't change at the moment is him getting in the closet because its slight broken open in the back but once we move into the new apartment next spring/summer we will get a new closet so it's no longer possible. We also aren't really angry at his behavior, we endearingly call it doing crimes and that he's a little criminal.

We also try to redirect his behavior when its possible. He scratches a lot on our kitchen chairs so we got 3 scratching posts and 4 cat scratching trees but he's still doing it lol. We decided the next chairs will be wooden so he can no longer rip them to shreds

But what also really makes me glad is that he rarely does "crimes" anymore as he definitely isn't bored anymore when we aren't home or over the night. Getting Milo was the right decision and it's making all of us happy

 

[Kwik]

Yes I love those two very much, when it comes to Sammy I am always especially worried because he's like a soul cat for me, so his happiness and health are always a priority for me, my boyfriend feels the same way. He's the most loving and sweetest kitty we ever had. He's been always here for me to comfort me when I'm sad.

But I'm also already deeply in love with Milo, he adapted a lot from Sammy too. He too is a really chatty and very cuddly boy and he purrs sooo loud when he's just near you. They make greater progress everyday, yesterday they laid both on me for the first time without Sammy being jealous or leaving.

While Sammy plays a lot less with me, I don't mind. I love seeing them chase each other through the whole apartment. He's finally getting all those cat interactions I only could imitate. As for being cuddly, it feels like its completely back to normal. He loves being carried like a baby again and all those bed cuddles. And every time I play PC games, he insists laying on the table in my arm.

And don't worry, no offense taken! We don't scream at him but we do say a firmly "Sammy, no, don't do that". Mostly we try to avoid having to tell him no by changing things like taping the bathroom bin up so he can no longer empty it or moving the the onion sack to a different spot where he can no longer get it out.

The only thing we can't change at the moment is him getting in the closet because its slight broken open in the back but once we move into the new apartment next spring/summer we will get a new closet so it's no longer possible. We also aren't really angry at his behavior, we endearingly call it doing crimes and that he's a little criminal.

We also try to redirect his behavior when its possible. He scratches a lot on our kitchen chairs so we got 3 scratching posts and 4 cat scratching trees but he's still doing it lol. We decided the next chairs will be wooden so he can no longer rip them to shreds

But what also really makes me glad is that he rarely does "crimes" anymore as he definitely isn't bored anymore when we aren't home or over the night. Getting Milo was the right decision and it's making all of us happy

Awww,thanks for sharing all the progress,so delightful to hear,I'm truly happy for all of you ... and how quickly they are bonding with one another,some definitely seem to belong together,don't they?
Nothing wrong with a firm" no" - during the act,afterward there is zero association-as for your chairs theres always double sided sticky tape-cats do not like a surface that's sticky,it's a good deterrent-they do make sticky sheets specifically to deter cats scratching but they're tye sane as most double sided sticky tape or sheets and double the price....

Must be something in a name,I've got a Sami too & boy oh boy he's into EVERYTHING-I say" Sami,you are sooooo EXTRA".... hes a Bengal,super smart,wants your complete attention and he's just like having a toddler running around..... he's so darn cute that it's very difficult to get mad even when breaks an exoensive collectible!It's okay,he's helping me to minimize-lol
Please do continue to share the adventures of Sammy & Milo and pleeease,we LOVE photos.

 

[Furballsmom]

Sami,you are sooooo EXTRA"..

I love this ...try museum putty to hold down the breakables

 

[Hobiflowery]

Awww,thanks for sharing all the progress,so delightful to hear,I'm truly happy for all of you ... and how quickly they are bonding with one another,some definitely seem to belong together,don't they?
Nothing wrong with a firm" no" - during the act,afterward there is zero association-as for your chairs theres always double sided sticky tape-cats do not like a surface that's sticky,it's a good deterrent-they do make sticky sheets specifically to deter cats scratching but they're tye sane as most double sided sticky tape or sheets and double the price....

Must be something in a name,I've got a Sami too & boy oh boy he's into EVERYTHING-I say" Sami,you are sooooo EXTRA".... hes a Bengal,super smart,wants your complete attention and he's just like having a toddler running around..... he's so darn cute that it's very difficult to get mad even when breaks an exoensive collectible!It's okay,he's helping me to minimize-lol
Please do continue to share the adventures of Sammy & Milo and pleeease,we LOVE photos.

Yes it really makes me glad they did so well in such a short time, especially considering we did rush things a bit and that Sammy didn't really have contact to other cats for 1 1/2 years. I now know to take things slower if there's a next time and definitely appreciate it. Some cats can take months to get used to a new buddy from what I read and heard. I think it helped a lot that Milo is a kitten and didn't display any hostile behavior from the beginning. My humanized idea is that Sammy just thought "Wait thats just a baby and much smaller than me, not a big threat"

Sadly its already too late for the chairs, as they are mostly covered in a very sensitive thin false leather like material, so Sammy already literally ripped them apart, we will definitely throw them away while moving
But we will use what you mentioned when we get a new couch in the new apartment! Milo is just like Sammy a little criminal and likes to scratch the couch a lot

And aww your furbaby sounds adorable, what a good boy My Sammy is the typical orange cat, chaotic, funny, chatty and affectionate

Me neither, no matter what he does I cannot get genuinely mad at him. He once ran over my face while I was laying on the couch and gave me 3 deep scratches like that, not because he was trying to hurt me but simply didn't realize this could hurt me lol. My bf was quite mad at him but I just couldn't be. And especially as it left no scars I don't mind now and think of it more as another chaotic story from him. He's just a goofy little boy

 

[Kwik]

I love this ...try museum putty to hold down the breakables

Yes yes- you suggested that to me when you commented Sami remodeling....lol And I used it under a small Lladros piece I have-so far so good,it actually works!Thank you!
I have an antique tea set I put away( after Sami breaking quite a few things,lol) and I'm considering taking it back out since your great tip---' that's alot of putty and it might be too much of a pain to clean the cups after a while

 

[Kwik]

Yes it really makes me glad they did so well in such a short time, especially considering we did rush things a bit and that Sammy didn't really have contact to other cats for 1 1/2 years. I now know to take things slower if there's a next time and definitely appreciate it. Some cats can take months to get used to a new buddy from what I read and heard. I think it helped a lot that Milo is a kitten and didn't display any hostile behavior from the beginning. My humanized idea is that Sammy just thought "Wait thats just a baby and much smaller than me, not a big threat"

Sadly its already too late for the chairs, as they are mostly covered in a very sensitive thin false leather like material, so Sammy already literally ripped them apart, we will definitely throw them away while moving
But we will use what you mentioned when we get a new couch in the new apartment! Milo is just like Sammy a little criminal and likes to scratch the couch a lot

And aww your furbaby sounds adorable, what a good boy My Sammy is the typical orange cat, chaotic, funny, chatty and affectionate

Me neither, no matter what he does I cannot get genuinely mad at him. He once ran over my face while I was laying on the couch and gave me 3 deep scratches like that, not because he was trying to hurt me but simply didn't realize this could hurt me lol. My bf was quite mad at him but I just couldn't be. And especially as it left no scars I don't mind now and think of it more as another chaotic story from him. He's just a goofy little boy

Lol,yep yep- they're just little goof balls....you'd love my Max,he's the sweetest love bug boy ,doesn't meow-he squeeks" adorable! When ya hear "eek eek" that means " pick me up" meanwhile my knees are being stabbed as he puts out his little arms to be picked up- I'm constantly trimming his nails....& yes,my knees are full of pin holes..... "yikes ",followed by " aww,you're too cute"

No wonder people think we're nuts but hey,they're lovin on us

I'm very excited for you,you're going to have so much fun watchjng baby Milo grow,too bad they grow so fast

 

[Hobiflowery]

Lol,yep yep- they're just little goof balls....you'd love my Max,he's the sweetest love bug boy ,doesn't meow-he squeeks" adorable! When ya hear "eek eek" that means " pick me up" meanwhile my knees are being stabbed as he puts out his little arms to be picked up- I'm constantly trimming his nails....& yes,my knees are full of pin holes..... "yikes ",followed by " aww,you're too cute"

No wonder people think we're nuts but hey,they're lovin on us

I'm very excited for you,you're going to have so much fun watchjng baby Milo grow,too bad they grow so fast

Aww that's super adorable One of my family cats at my parents house - Luna, a tortie, always buries her claws into you when you hold her - not to hurt you or anything but just for extra support so I do feel your pain with this. My mom always has little claw holes from her on her shoulders

Yes they grow so fast, with Sammy it already felt so fast even tho I was home for 3 months in the beginning so I got to spend sooo much time with him. Sad that I can't do the same with little Milo

I do think about posting pictures of them soon! They are two very handsome boys

 

[Kwik]

Aww that's super adorable One of my family cats at my parents house - Luna, a tortie, always buries her claws into you when you hold her - not to hurt you or anything but just for extra support so I do feel your pain with this. My mom always has little claw holes from her on her shoulders

Yes they grow so fast, with Sammy it already felt so fast even tho I was home for 3 months in the beginning so I got to spend sooo much time with him. Sad that I can't do the same with little Milo

I do think about posting pictures of them soon! They are two very handsome boys

Oh yes,please do,can't wait to see the boys.....

 

[danteshuman]

Try giving your cat at least a couple hours every day without the kitten. Okay with your cat 1 on 1, give your cat treats and extra TLC.

Your resident cat may need slower introductions. Maybe your kitty needs kitten free time half the day. Also make sure you are not locking your resident cat out of your bedroom at night.

 

[Hobiflowery]

Oh yes,please do,can't wait to see the boys.....
[/QUOT


Here's Milo

And thats Sammy

Hope everything worked with the pictures!

 

[Hobiflowery]

Try giving your cat at least a couple hours every day without the kitten. Okay with your cat 1 on 1, give your cat treats and extra TLC.

Your resident cat may need slower introductions. Maybe your kitty needs kitten free time half the day. Also make sure you are not locking your resident cat out of your bedroom at night.

Hi thanks for your reply! We try to divide the attention as much as possible! They both get one on one time with me and time together. They are progressing very well
We sadly have to lock both cats out of the bedroom during the night, we also did that when we only had Sammy. My partner is a very light sleeper and we have to get up at 5am often

 

[Kwik]

Oh boy that little Milo is a cutie pie... Your Sammy has that "wheels turning" look my Sami gets-",Extra",rofl.....They are going to be the very best buddies,no doubt-,keep up the great work

 

[Hobiflowery]

Oh boy that little Milo is a cutie pie... Your Sammy has that "wheels turning" look my Sami gets-",Extra",rofl.....They are going to be the very best buddies,no doubt-,keep up the great work

Aww thank you! They are two handsome boys for sure and I hope so too! It makes so happy to see how much they achieved in such a short time. Milo is being so funny too, he doesn't do the crab walk like Sammy does but he puffs his tail up and holds it half up while he runs around like a horse Kittenhood is so funny and cute

 

[Caspers Human]

Please, can you stand aside a while, watch but let THEM work it out?

After just adopting a second cat, not three months ago, I concur. Cats must be allowed to work out their relationships in their own way, without human intervention.

Our younger cat, Elliot, (newly adopted) is just a year old and still has a lot of kitten energy. The elder cat, Casper, is ten, going on eleven years old. Casper often treats Elliot like a young upstart, mainly because that's the way Elliot is. He can act like a little s#ithead, sometimes. Casper just gets fed up with Elliot horning in on his "Me-Time" with his humans. He gets peeved off with Elliot when he does that. When Elliot pushes Casper beyond his limit, he'll bop Elliot on the head with his paw.

We just let it happen because there's no way we can teach Elliot the rules like Casper can. Elliot will act up and Caper will give him a "Mrrr..." That's a warning! If Elliot doesn't listen, Casper will raise his paw and, if Elliot still doesn't get the message, he'll get a bop on the head. Elliot will run away and Casper will chase him away. This is just the way cats interact, sometimes. We call it "Cat Politics." It's just the natural way that cats communicate and set limits with each other.

In fact, it's gotten to the point where Elliot will act up and I'll say, "Elliot, you play nice or Casper will bop you!"

If Elliot doesn't take the hint, I'll look at Casper and say, "Go ahead! Bop him on the head!"

It's funny because, often, when I say that, Casper will look at me then at Elliot and, a second later... Bop! Casper swats Elliot with his paw!

Then, I look at Elliot and say, "See! I told you so!"

 

[Hobiflowery]

After just adopting a second cat, not three months ago, I concur. Cats must be allowed to work out their relationships in their own way, without human intervention.

Our younger cat, Elliot, (newly adopted) is just a year old and still has a lot of kitten energy. The elder cat, Casper, is ten, going on eleven years old. Casper often treats Elliot like a young upstart, mainly because that's the way Elliot is. He can act like a little s#ithead, sometimes. Casper just gets fed up with Elliot horning in on his "Me-Time" with his humans. He gets peeved off with Elliot when he does that. When Elliot pushes Casper beyond his limit, he'll bop Elliot on the head with his paw.

We just let it happen because there's no way we can teach Elliot the rules like Casper can. Elliot will act up and Caper will give him a "Mrrr..." That's a warning! If Elliot doesn't listen, Casper will raise his paw and, if Elliot still doesn't get the message, he'll get a bop on the head. Elliot will run away and Casper will chase him away. This is just the way cats interact, sometimes. We call it "Cat Politics." It's just the natural way that cats communicate and set limits with each other.

In fact, it's gotten to the point where Elliot will act up and I'll say, "Elliot, you play nice or Casper will bop you!"

If Elliot doesn't take the hint, I'll look at Casper and say, "Go ahead! Bop him on the head!"

It's funny because, often, when I say that, Casper will look at me then at Elliot and, a second later... Bop! Casper swats Elliot with his paw!

Then, I look at Elliot and say, "See! I told you so!"

Hi thanks for your reply, as i told the other person, we're not intervening at all I was just asking if there's something to be worried about as I wasn't sure yet if they are playing or if it could escalate. After all Milo is much smaller and powerless and I do know Sammy can be quite rough while playing, so I didn't want to miss any signs. They have been allowed to freely get used to each other, they were alone together during the night or when we are at work and nothing bad happened! I checked Milo daily, no injuries, just roughhousing. Especially since Milo always bounces back and starts the fight again when Sammy let's him go I no longer worry.

I dont know if you saw the update but things are going really well now! Sammy is back to his old cuddly self and they play a lot together. They aren't tightly cuddling but they exchange headbutts and licks once in a while. They have no problem sharing attention now, they eat from the same bowl and they use both litterboxes however they want.

I'm extremely proud of both of them considering we only have Milo like 3 weeks and a few days now, especially of Sammy since he didn't have cats around for 2 years and he did so good in such a short time. I think they are both happy with each other now. I noticed many improvements in Sammys behavior too. He doesn't do naughty things anymore when he's alone when we are asleep or at work. He isn't bored anymore, because he has best friend now

 

[Caspers Human]

It's probably something between play and fighting. That's why we call it "Cat Politics."

Cats don't have hands and they can't talk but they do have claws and teeth. Sometimes it's just the way cats roll, so to speak.

Yes, Casper, the elder, does get a little bit distant when Elliot, the younger, comes around. Sometimes, I even hear Casper huff when he's fed up with Elliot. It's like he's saying, "Ya' little ruffian!" Then Casper walks off and goes somewhere else to have some peace and quiet. Often, that'll be up on a high shelf or in the bedroom closet where Elliot can't find him.

Overall, it's been good for Casper to have a cat buddy to play with. Casper can act like a bump on a log when left to his own devices. Elliot stimulates Casper to be more active.

It's only been a short time that Casper and Elliot have been living together. Three months isn't really that long. We figure that the two cats are just getting used to each other, now. From here on, it's just going to take time for each cat to set their boundaries.

I suspect that you are in a similar situation. As in all things, it just takes time.

 

[Alldara]

Oh my goodness. So cute.

I'm so glad they have become fast friends.