Cat Bite, Discouraged

[Danneq]

I'm not looking for advice so much as I just need to talk about it. Lexi bit me very badly tonight. Like, I've lived with cats my entire life, I have scars from being a stupid kid trying to play with cats, and nothing like this. It feels like it's going to be bruised as all hell in addition to the punctures. (I am going to a doctor as soon as I can in the morning, before anyone says, to get some antibiotics. Washed really well, treated with neosporin, iced.)

It wasn't entirely her fault. The dog was barking because the other cat was growling, I picked her up to take her downstairs so that everyone could calm down, she chomped down on my hand. But I had to sit down and cry about it after treating it, because I felt like she was making such good progress, and then this happened.

Since I'm not a super regular poster: Lexi came to me fairly traumatized, after her original owner needed to suddenly go into assisted living, leaving Lexi with a neighbor, who knows my mom. That's how she came to me, scared out of her mind, not knowing what was permanent, and wanting her old home back. That was about five months ago; she's really gained confidence and settled in so well on "our" floor (multigen household). The introduction to her and the other animals is also going okay -- not perfect, obviously, we still have a ways to go, but we'll get there. I need to help her feel more confident on the communal floor, if she's going to follow me up there; I have some plans. (Some of those plans involve sending my SIL to go on a run with the stupid dog when Lexi is upstairs.

I don't hate dogs. I don't even hate this dog. I'm just frustrated with all three animals and frankly even the humans, including myself.)

Anyway. Lexi's previous owner clearly never taught her that hands are not toys, because she has a biting problem, both in playtime and when she's upset. I've been working with her on it, mainly trying to replicate the way her mom would have done it, by yelping and ignoring her for a few minutes. I'm a learning that she's very responsive to the energy in a room; I'm also learning her tells and identifying the situations that overwhelm her. (This is why I picked her up, because obviously that was bad energy for her to be hanging out in. I guess next time I'll grab oven mitts first.)

And she's actually gotten better! Until tonight, she hadn't bitten me for a couple weeks, and the other day she nibbled on my hand very very gently, which says to me that she's figuring out that she should be controlling her strength.

But my hand really hurts.

I keep telling myself that this isn't actually a setback; I should have expected that she would react poorly to me picking her up. Human error. Natural cat behavior. But I was just telling my brother and sister-in-law about how much progress she's made, and then I had to go to them being like, "hey, haha, my first aid kit is out of gauze, can I borrow some of yours because I'm bleeding from multiple puncture wounds because of my cat who really has made a lot of progress, really really..." feeling foolish and stupid.

The last component is that I had to leave a heart cat behind when I moved here (I had been living with my parents, Jackie wouldn't have handled a move well, she's doing okay) and I miss my snuggly girl who had the best claw/teeth etiquette ever. Lexi can be very sweet and we're bonding well, but then something like this happens and it's hard not to resent literally everyone. (Even Jackie, to some extent, because if she wasn't bonded to her sister who is bonded to my mom, then maybe I could have taken her with me.)

Emotions are stupid and my hand hurts. Sorry for the word vomit.

 

[ArtNJ]

I think you are entirely correct, this is a separate thing that doesn't diminish the progress you've made. The most well adjusted cats can bite the owners they love if picked up when they are super stressed. This is a common thing you've maybe read of here, called redirected aggression. Sometimes, when our pets are very stressed, we just need to stay out of the way until they sort it. Or if truly necessary, pick up with a blanket, towel or perhaps oven mitts as you mentioned.

How you feel about being hurt by your cat, the feelings of betrayal, frustration, pain and/or concern, they are valid emotionally of course. You'll just need to process those feelings as you can, knowing, as you do, that this was a natural thing, and not necessarily more than a blip in the progress you've made. A very very painful blip, that requires the doctor visit you mentioned, but a blip nonetheless.

Stay strong, keep up the good work!

 

[rubysmama]

Danneq : so sorry about the cat bite. But I'm thinking it had nothing to do with the progress you've made with the socialization of Lexi, and everything to do with her being expectedly picked up while she was already stressed by the barking dog and growling cat. Her instinct was to bite to protect herself. How is she doing today? And how is your hand?

 

[Danneq]

A ArtNJ , thanks for pointing out that it was probably redirected aggression! I've dealt with cat-to-cat redirected aggression, but it didn't occur to me that it would apply here. That makes me feel better.

rubysmama , we're both okay, thank you for asking! My hand is puffy and red, but I have antibiotics, and I know what to look for in case it gets worse. It hurts a little less today than it did yesterday. Lexi is her usual self! She slept on my bed last night.

She hasn't been upstairs again yet. I think I need to step it back juuuust a little bit. The chaos that night shouldn't have happened because someone should have grabbed/distracted the dog before he could interject into the cats' conversation. (Their conversation still largely consists of Lexi saying, "Pleeeeease can we be friends, blink blink" and Braeburn telling her "No, I hate you, go away, you're ruining everything." But I have seen Braeburn give her a blink or two back.) I'm very confident we'll get there, where "there" is defined by mostly-peaceful coexistence, which I will happily take.


Edit for distracting typo.

 

[CatladyJan]

Hang in there you are doing great and yes those bites really hurt but will heal.