Cat Behaviours

[mia26]

I have two kitties that are 3months apart. One 3 months Female and the other 6 Months male. The youngest one is our resident cat and she is very playful, energetic, loving & loves the company of our new kitty, however the new kitty likes to be left alone most of the time and carried by us humans, not very energetic compared to her.
However when they both play, he is too rough with her and always bites her neck area and she starts crying and I have to constantly break them apart when they are play fighting because he is too rough with her. They don't hiss or growl and can get along most of the time, she grooms him when he is sleeping and tries to sleep next to him but he gets up and walks away and lets her have his bed.
He is also slow to eat his food and she just chomps down her food and then she will go over to his bowl and help him finish his food and he just lets her and then is hungry not long after.
I want to be able to leave them both together alone when I am not home but scared after a few weeks now that he might actually hurt her if I am not there.
Thoughts on how I can teach him not to be so aggressive with her? I usually just squirt him with water which usually does the trick, but every time they play fight, he gets too excited and rough with her.

 

[ArtNJ]

You are interpreting normal kitten play as too rough. Biting the neck is normal play, and its totally normal for a smaller kitten to cry out a bit. Its no different from little brother yelling for mom when big brother gives an indian sunburn. It is uncomfortable, maybe hurts a little, but little brother will want to play again shortly. If the younger kitten was actually being hurt, it would avoid the older kitten, hiss and growl. Some here even say this is how older cats that like to play less teach the younger cat boundaries. So there is no need to intervene based on what you've described. You won't teach kittens not to be kittens by doing that -- best case is what you are doing does nothing. Worst case, you discourage them from playing with each other or interject stress into the relationship which isn't currently there. Just let them be, and as they grow and change, this particular problem should fade.

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to TCS. Congrats on the adoption of your 2 kittens.

Can you post pics of them.
How To Add A Picture To Your Forum Post

Has your 6 month old male kitten been neutered yet? If not, I'd do that asap, as he is getting to be the age when he will start looking for a "girlfriend" and your 3 month old female kitten is too young for him, but he might not realize that, and consequently hurt her.

Also, until kittens are about a year old, they eat a lot. So if your 3 month old is always hungry, maybe start keeping a bit more food out.

The Essentials Of Kitten Nutrition

About spraying cats with water, it's not usually an effective form of discipline. Here's a couple articles with more info:

Cats And Discipline Don't Mix
5 Reasons To Never Spray Water On Your Cat

And a couple on multi-cat households:
The Multi-cat Household
How To Safely Break Up A Cat Fight

 

[mia26]

You are interpreting normal kitten play as too rough. Biting the neck is normal play, and its totally normal for a smaller kitten to cry out a bit. Its no different from little brother yelling for mom when big brother gives an indian sunburn. It is uncomfortable, maybe hurts a little, but little brother will want to play again shortly. If the younger kitten was actually being hurt, it would avoid the older kitten, hiss and growl. Some here even say this is how older cats that like to play less teach the younger cat boundaries. So there is no need to intervene based on what you've described. You won't teach kittens not to be kittens by doing that -- best case is what you are doing does nothing. Worst case, you discourage them from playing with each other or interject stress into the relationship which isn't currently there. Just let them be, and as they grow and change, this particular problem should fade.

I disagree. If my little one is hurt then I don't want him to keep on hurting her. What kind of cat mom will I be?
I understand cats play fight and make noises but not when one constantly cries. I don't think what I do is doing nothing as she runs behinds me when I break them up - obviously she is hurt and they need a time out when they our both full off too much energy.
You have to understand not all cats are the same so what you classify as "normal cat behaviour" may not be so normal with other cats.
And I am not discouraging them or interjecting stress, I am saving my little one from stress from the new cat.
Call me over protective but Id rather be safe than careless with my cats.

 

[mia26]

Hello and welcome to TCS. Congrats on the adoption of your 2 kittens.

Can you post pics of them.
How To Add A Picture To Your Forum Post

Has your 6 month old male kitten been neutered yet? If not, I'd do that asap, as he is getting to be the age when he will start looking for a "girlfriend" and your 3 month old female kitten is too young for him, but he might not realize that, and consequently hurt her.

Also, until kittens are about a year old, they eat a lot. So if your 3 month old is always hungry, maybe start keeping a bit more food out.

The Essentials Of Kitten Nutrition

About spraying cats with water, it's not usually an effective form of discipline. Here's a couple articles with more info:

Cats And Discipline Don't Mix
5 Reasons To Never Spray Water On Your Cat

And a couple on multi-cat households:
The Multi-cat Household
How To Safely Break Up A Cat Fight

Ahh thank you for that. Yes he has been neutered. Ah I have given up the water bottle as I they have a favourite toy that makes a lot of noise and whenever I shake it, they both stop fighting and try to attack to toy instead.

Its funny as the older one seems to always be hungry now and eats really quick and then he will try and steal her food, before it was the other way around and I am feeding them the exact same amount.

They seem to always want food and treats, I have video footage of them actually trying to get into the treat cupboard and them trying to scratch their way into the dry food bag. lol

 

[jen]

I disagree. If my little one is hurt then I don't want him to keep on hurting her. What kind of cat mom will I be?
I understand cats play fight and make noises but not when one constantly cries. I don't think what I do is doing nothing as she runs behinds me when I break them up - obviously she is hurt and they need a time out when they our both full off too much energy.
You have to understand not all cats are the same so what you classify as "normal cat behaviour" may not be so normal with other cats.
And I am not discouraging them or interjecting stress, I am saving my little one from stress from the new cat.
Call me over protective but Id rather be safe than careless with my cats.

And I will respectfully disagree with that. Kittens are rough and tough and they will teach other boundaries. They NEED TO DO THIS. And to do this they hiss and growl and cry and scream even. If they can't do this they do not learn. If you interrupt this natural growth of learning the tolerance and behaviors of their fellow cats, you end up with neurotic cats who don't know how to interact with each other and end up urinating in the house or similar acts due to their stress.

The exception would be if there is blood draw. Rarely you will get a cat or kitten who absolutely hates other cats and will never grow to like them. You do not have this. You have 2 kittens. Stop interrupting their play, stop babying them and let them learn appropriate cat behavior.

 

[ArtNJ]

Cats come from a predator lineage, and like all predator young, they play by modeling hunting behaviors. So yes, play biting the neck is normal, they all do it. Its very very common for there to be a big size difference between playful kittens. You wouldn't have to search long to find a dozen posts like yours with people worried about it. If you searched for 3 hours, you could find 50+ such posts. You would not find any posts where a kitten was actually hurt, not one. Its one thing if the littler kitten gets to the point where it avoids the bigger cat, generally hides and/or starts having litterbox problems. That is super rare, but every once in a great while you get a skittish kitten with a super playful and kind of rough big cat. You don't have that, you have a normal scenario where your kitten is not remotely scared, and keeps coming back for more despite crying a bit when pinned (remember, you could literally find 50 such posts in 3 hours).

What happens if you interrupt this normal scenario? Well, I may disagree with Jen slightly there, since I think the most likely result is nothing, their behavior changes not at all, especially if you only interrupt the most vigorous sessions when your younger kitten really cries, and if you interrupt in a low key manner that doesn't cause them stress. But I do agree with Jen that if you are actually able to discourage their play through great persistence, you risk creating cats which don't play with each other much. In the short term, kittens that need to get their energy out some other way will be more likely to be destructive around the house, to develop a habit of play biting you, and to experience other such difficulties. In the long term, less active cats, more prone to obesity, more prone to sitting around and doing...absolutely nothing. In sum, they will be more like solo kittens. Not the worst thing, obviously, there are millions of solo kittens. But no one thinks being a solo kitten is better for the cat, and I don't think turning playmates into two solo kittens is desirable.

If you have doubts...please do what I suggested. Read up.

 

[mia26]

And I will respectfully disagree with that. Kittens are rough and tough and they will teach other boundaries. They NEED TO DO THIS. And to do this they hiss and growl and cry and scream even. If they can't do this they do not learn. If you interrupt this natural growth of learning the tolerance and behaviors of their fellow cats, you end up with neurotic cats who don't know how to interact with each other and end up urinating in the house or similar acts due to their stress.

The exception would be if there is blood draw. Rarely you will get a cat or kitten who absolutely hates other cats and will never grow to like them. You do not have this. You have 2 kittens. Stop interrupting their play, stop babying them and let them learn appropriate cat behavior.

Each to their own - Respectfully!

 

[abbyemma]

I can agree that it definitely would be anxiety provoking, especially for
Someone like me that doesn’t have a lot
of experienced to know what is “normal” play fighting. Don’t feel bad for being concerned, but I think it also is best to
Let them work things out. Probably easier said than done