CAT ATTACKING ME NOW!!WHAT DO I DO??

[doreet]

HI, THIS is the same 3 yr old Burmess female, who was shy, but  now wants to vigererousyly play w/ me ALL THE TIME. And she wants to attack me now1!!

i can'tt play w/ her all the time!!  i never shoulda started it iguess. i'm  oldsr, i have to rest, do stuff on the computer, ect ect. she wants  constant attention. i can't do that. her first owner got to be 90, went into assist living, could not take her 3 yr old cat.

She was beautiful, but shy. oncce I got her, i found out; she hatees beinng picked up, or held, meows to get away.she is not affectionate; she never purrs. she does  come up to me, "meow meow i need you" but if i pet her, she CLAWS ME, OUCH. OR BITES ME.

I thought the agressive playing would help her release her cat   aggression; but it made it, last time she ATTACKS ME WITH ALL CLAWS. and i think she  means it as PLAY!! "LETS PLAY PREDATORS TOGETHER."

I have tried all cat toys, she hates the mechanical ones, scared of em; only likes big papwr bags and her squeaking mousie.(anyone know who sells squeakkng mice? squeaker inside.)her old mouse no longer squeaks, she loved that.

She frequently patrolls the hallway, howling ppainitively.(???) for her other mommy?  itsbeen many months. the attacks or bites  when i try to pet her, turn me off. it is ffequent"don't touch me!!" from her.does this cat only relate  by play, or bites and scratches?   no affection? no purrs?so she finally sees me out of bed, she happily  ATTACKS ME as welcome!!

She is not good at playing. she looks depressed, and eats a lot. loves treats, too much, wants  em all the time now.my friend says, her cats want thoss treats all a time, too, are rhey addictive??  more more me-ow!!

I wish she was affectionate, purred, snuggled up like a ordinary cat. she wants closeness bodily atnight.  but she really says"don'ttouch me!!" a lot, and wrecks my hand, ouch.bshe claws and bites a lot for a nice cat. what do I do with her?  how can I help her? and me?  thanks

 

[tulosai]

Hi.  I am sorry to see that you are struggling with your new kitty.

My advice on this one is sort of in two parts.  The first part is about her personality generally and your wanting a purring, affectionate cat.  Unfortunately, cats are individuals and have their own personalities just like people.  There is really no such thing as an 'ordinary' cat, and yours, while perhaps not the kind of cat you dreamed of, doesn't sound that out of the ordinary to me. Some cats are more affectionate than others.  Some don't like petting, some love it, some like it but only at certain times or for certain lengths of time.  It is always best to let cats come to you and tell you when they want affection rather than trying to give it to them at other times.  I know that can be very frustrating but she may just be reacting this way because you are trying to give affection at times she doesn't want it.  She may also just not like being pet though.

As for aggressive playing and the fact that she is biting you, as you've learned, it is NEVER a good idea to play aggressively with a cat using your body.  I am not sure exactly how you played aggressively with her, but it is never a good idea to give her the impression that you are for playing with in an aggressive manner.  You say she does not like toys, but have you tried any interactive toys, like da bird or the rainbow charmer thing? Most cats can't resist those and it is a safe and fun way for them to use their 'hunter instincts'.  If you haven't already, I'd invest in some of those.  I think you'll be surprised how well kitty responds.

As for her continuing to bite you, I have a few suggestions, some of which I know you probably weren't hoping to hear, but that I think will be effective.

1. Stop trying to pet kitty for now.  If she never responds positively and always bites you, you are just perpetuating a vicious cycle at this point.

2. Never play with kitty using your own arms, hands, feet, or body in any way.

3.  If kitty randomly bites you, shout 'OW!' very loudly, hiss, and remove yourself from the situation.  This, if done consistently, will give kitty the message that a) she is hurting you and b) she should back off and c) she will not get attention of any kind when she bites.

Please let us know if you have any other questions.  I hope others will also chime in to help.

 

[mservant]

Hi.  I'm wondering how long it is since you adopted this cat and where she was?  Had she been in a shelter for some time or had she just been moved from her previous home? It does rather sound like she hasn't had much of a chance to socialise and learn how to play with humans, but that does not mean she can't learn and be really happy once she understands what she can  and can't do.

Is she still scratching around her eyes or has that resolved now and other behaviours started?  I wonder if she has sensitive skin, or as I think you have menioned, maybe not very used to contact.  If there is any chance she could have sore or itchy skin it is worth having her checked out by your vet again, or at least discussing it with them.

I think tulosai gives good advice in following your cat's requests, looking out for her mood. And holding back from petting her at the moment.  If she comes to you looking as if she wants attention it might be good to start building up a touch tolerance by using a wand toy or similar and slowly reach to touch her head or body with that to see how she responds.  This is also a slightly less hazardous way to find out which parts she is most sensitive to being touched on.  If she responds with play / attack you can try responding with play and if she allows you to stroke her gently with the toy then carry on doing this for a short time and then widthdraw, go back and stroke with the toy again if she looks settled and as if she wants you to do it some more.

Do you feed her wet or dry food, or a combination?  It might help if she associates you more with access to food.  To be in the room or close to her when you put wet food down.  If you give her dry food / kibble then not to leave it down in a bowl but to throw this for her to chase, or to put it down for her with your hand one piece at a time as if it were snacks.   I give very few snack treats to my cat but he gets his regular food thrown and plays with it like it's a treat every day.  It can be a good way of keeping a 3 year old active and interested in play.  (my boy is coming up for 3).

I don't know how you react when she bites and wraps herself round you:  

If you pull back when she claws or bites you this is an invitation for her to play attack and will stimulate her even more.  I am very well aquainted with cat teeth and claws, and how scary they can be / how much of a fright you can get when it happens suddenly, but honestly if you can stay still and calm most cats will tone down and learn that that is not how you play.  Freeze, and if you make any movement make it a slight push in towards her.

Like tulosai says, a firm 'no' or 'ow' for her to hear and learn you say it when you are being hurt is important.  Be consistent, and I find it works best if the word you use when you are being hurt is different to any you use at other times.  If you say 'no' when she gets up on furniture or scartches things or is up on kitchen worktops then don't use it for biting:  she needs to know this is not a sound she can ignore.    As others on this site keep reminding me in their posts, a quick sharp blow of air on her nose can work wonders too and it is a natural animal defense she should be able to relate to.

If she keeps coming back and attacking then one or other of you needs to be on the other side of a shut door for a few minutes to let her calm down, and then you open the door and if she is calm give her the option of coming back to share your space.

In terms of space, does your cat have her own spaces, cat tree and high space as well as any safe floor level places she goes to when she wants a quiet time?  In some ways it sounds like she is still quite an anxious cat, and that you are both quite anxious around each other.  Ways to build up understanding and trust around you both might take longer than you would expect, possibly because of her previous experiences, and as others have said, individual personalities.

I certainly hope you can find ways to feel able to build more of a bond and build the relationship you would like with her. 

 

[doreet]

thank you very much

love [email protected]

• doreet
• Nov 16, 2013

for the very good advice;I think you are correct about me trying to not force any affection on her when she doesn't want it. That is very good advice. And you are correct, when I got a Burmese, I accepted a Burmese personality just like a human has a personality. And I didn't know that you really shouldn't play directly with any limb of yours, but a toy. Okay and also I will try to find the toys you mentioned, "Da bird" and "rainbow", I will try to find them. She also loves squeaky mice. And she likes yarn.

I didn't realize that by aggressively playing with her, I wasn't helping her to get it out of her system, but only getting her to be more aggressive to ME. She is as confused as I am, ha ha. No wonder, where different species trying to be friends together. Okay, I will let her come to me when she wants to, and not chase her to be affectionate very good idea. That's even a good idea with humans.

hugmycatsmiley-hug011.gif

• doreet
• Nov 29, 2013

(I found out over Thanksgiving, she likes turkey very much! Happy Turkey day I hope to everyone and every Kitty!)

 

[mservant]

Don't feel bad:  I would like you to know that I force my attention on Mouse regularly and this is a case for do as I say and not do as I do.  It is a very vary hard piece of advice to follow when you love your cat and you want contact with them. 

    

  Be consistent and firm, and pay attention to her body language.  If you feel calm she is more likely to feel safe and calm too, and then hopefully you can start to build up a bond together without the aggressive stuff that's worrying you.

Mouse is a very tolerant cat and he puts up with me picking him up, rubbing his belly and generally being a nuisance to him, but I know he is a very rare cat and I am lucky.  He is not a lap cat though and however much I'd love him to curl up on my knee while I watch TV, I can't make him do that!  When I first adopted him he was a skittish little monkey and didn't like to be held.  He only cuddled in around my feat, or if I was in bed.  He had to build up trust and bond with me first, and as he was extremely playful that's what we did, about 4 hours a day if not more.  One of my previous cats, my 'girls', didn't like being picked up until she was about 18, at which point she was very arthritic BUT relaxed for the first time in her life because the sister who bullied her was no longer around.  When she relaxed she was a totally different cat!  Even then she would only let me and one or two other people handle her. She always had to be in control so when I did lift her it was more of a cradle on my arm so she could get off whenever she wanted.

Mouse loves yarn, string and ribbons too, be careful and not leave it out or anywhere she can find it in case she eats it:  not a good way to get a vet bill but it's a rather common one.  It can also get wrapped round their necks if they start rolling about and getting excited.  Cats! 

 

You say your girl likes to hunt and attack you: one game a lot of cats (and some daft humans like me) enjoy playing hide and seek - also known as hunt the human, or tig.  You can start it off running off with a toy she likes trailing behind you and her following for the toy, hide around the side of a door or round a corner then look at at her, hide again, run off. Or when she chases after you and a mouse toy, hide round a corner and when she gets to you and is about to jump for the mouse - throw it for her to chase, then follow her: you kind of play run after her and do a similar thing, hiding behind doors and corners and stuff to keep her interested. Play around her to get the toy back or catch her interest with a new toy and go again..... You keep swapping over who's chasing who.  Once she gets the idea she's not biting and attacking you but it's the chase and the toy that are the game you can play it without any toys at all, or you can introduce other treats like occasional biscuits.  It's like you'd do with a little toddler but without the counting or long delays.  It's nice if you both 'get it' because it's a very interactive game between the two of you and great for bonding.  When Mouse first started this with me (and yes it was definitely him that initiated it and showed me the ropes) he was still in to leaping up at my head and quite bitey so I'd have to make sure I had a toy to throw and distract him at the final meeting around a corner.  Now he just looks up with a cheeky face, or climbs up on the back of a chair and we touch noses before he runs off again.

I'd love to hear how you get on over the coming days and weeks.  Keep us updated.