Cat attacked me very aggressively. At a loss

[Beenieweenie]

Oh and yes she is spayed!

 

[treeclimber]

They did say she is very male-orientated because her male owner basically raised her and bottle fed her as a kitten.

They said she’s male-oriented?!!

If they felt the need to mention that, I would almost be willing to bet that you are not the first woman she’s attacked.

The online listing and “didn’t have time for her” fit with this too - busy people barely notice a cat they don’t have time for. But a family with a cat with aggression issues will notice the cat enough to want it gone, especially once there’s a toddler in the picture.

So if you have any doubts at all about whether you “did something” to set this off - no, you did not. She is very likely continuing a behavior pattern that started long before she met you. Even if the incident the other day had never happened, something else would have set it off eventually.

Her previous humans should have been more honest with you and said “aggressive towards women” instead of a weak/vague euphemism like “male-oriented”.

That said, I’m glad to hear you are making some progress with her!! You might be the first woman ever to put in the effort to work with her on this, and she may just need time and patience.

We did not get her from a shelter we got her through German eBay lol. Her previous owners said that they just didnt have the time for her as they work full time, have a toddler and a very energetic jack russel.

If it helps you to know that you have the option of an “out”, you still do - calling shelters and saying “I adopted a cat whose owners didn’t warn me that she’s aggressive towards women. She does well with my boyfriend and would probably be fine in an all-male home, can you help her find one?” until you find a shelter that says “yes”.

But hopefully you don’t need that - I am very, very happy to hear that things are improving with her!! I’m glad she ended up with someone like you that has the love and patience to work with her on this!

 

[treeclimber]

So here is an update on the situation!: Last night when we got home we opened up the bedroom where she usually likes to hangout and I sat on the bed next to my bf. She came in and just sniffed around and watched me for a while and left. We kind of did this on and off the whole night I would move rooms and my bf would sit next to me and eventually she came onto the bed and sat on top of me. I tried to stay calm but because she was so close I was scared if I did anything it would set her off.

This is brilliant!!!

Kudos to both of you for this slow and patient approach, and I’m glad it’s working!

We just talked with her in a calm voice and later on I gave her some treats. We moved into my bf's studio and watched a movie and she slept under the couch we were sitting on. But, she was scratching at the couch a good bit so Im wondering if that was kind of a bad sign?

Probably not a bad sign.

I can’t say scratching objects is never aggressive, but if she wasn’t growling or hissing then aggression wouldn’t make it into a top-five list of explanations for the behavior.

It can be a playful thing, a “claiming this space as mine” thing, an “overdue for nail trim” thing, a “habit that she just likes to scratch when she’s under furniture” thing… most of the potential explanations are pretty harmless. It can also be a sign of stress which is a less encouraging explanation, but even then at least she vented her stress on the couch instead of becoming aggressive.

 

[lisalu]

I had a similar situation happen a while ago with a pet of a different species (a rat). Sometimes he was a sweet cuddly ball of fuzz, and sometimes he would abruptly turn into ratzilla, charge my hand and bite me hard enough to draw blood. I spent months trying everything - neutering, drugs, housing with/without cage mates - but I think there was just something wired wrong inside his little head and there was nothing that I could do to change that.

About something in his head being "wired wrong," this is a rat we're talking about, and who's to say they are "wired wrong" if they don't behave in ways that humans find acceptable? What he did probably made perfect sense to HIM and his goal in life isn't to please and serve humans (like a dog, for example.)

My granddaughters had two pet rats and my DIL raved about how sweet, cuddly and gentle they were until the day one of them suddenly attacked my granddaughter and bit her hand pretty badly. My son said he had to MOP up the blood, there was so much - and she required stitches, of course. But the last straw was what the rat did after the attack...I'll leave it to your imagination, I can't even say it - but it was something a rat would do instinctively that humans find abhorrent.

Needless to say, my DIL immediately re-homed the rats!

 

[Furballsmom]

Should I not be playing with her as much?

Hi
Don't let the plethora of comments cause you to overthink this. The things you and your bf are doing are right on the money.

You're right about restricting balcony access as well. Maybe, if you haven't already, when you get to the point of allowing her to go there, hang material around the railing so she can't see out. This should help avoid problems.

When she gets back to where she's bringing you her toys, play with her as much as she and you want to

 

[Alldara]

B Beenieweenie
You should definitely keep playing with her. It is good for both her confidence and her health, as well as you two bonding. It's VERY important to build her confidence. (Check out Jackson Galaxy's videos on nervous cats)

Putting up some bamboo screen for the balcony is an excellent idea to block her sight of the other cats, when you are ready for her to go back out. I would definitely wait at least a month for this. With Nobel, I also began to bring him inside as soon as another animal came. This taught him that he could remove himself to somewhere he felt safe.

Since she has had some trauma, it make take some years to fully gain her trust. That doesn't mean that in this time she will react like that again.

It is excellent that she comes around already.

And it's 100% okay that if she starts to get uppity (sees a cat and starts to get hissy or something), to put her in a room with a closed door and some calming music for 20 minutes to an hour. Just make sure there's water and litter in there. This has been so helpful in our home and Nobel has never gotten to the point of hurting me again.

When he goes to the vet, we put him immediately in this room to calm down, and give him some food too in case he's hangry. Then in about 20 minutes I go in and we sit together and then he comes out. Or sometimes he just comes out. We do this too if he sees another cat outside and gets hissy. Now, when he gets overwhelmed, he goes to his covered crate, even though it's usually the whole spare room we put him in when he's nervous.

 

[Hellenww]

Also just for some context of where she was before: We did not get her from a shelter we got her through German eBay lol. Her previous owners said that they just didnt have the time for her as they work full time, have a toddler and a very energetic jack russel. They did say she is very male-orientated because her male owner basically raised her and bottle fed her as a kitten. I do think she has some trauama as she only has one 'good' eye. They told us she was bit by a dog when she was a kitten and so she is blind in her right eye so I can image then living with a dog didnt help. They also said they never played with her much as she usually just liked to be by herself and then cuddle when she wanted to.

Your poor girl was probably stressed most of her life. Talk to her a lot. Let her know where you are, especially if your on the side with her bad eye. As time goes on she will learn the different smells in your house and be able to tell what's happening by her nose.

Playing will build the bond between you. Create some positive routines between you and her, especially in the laundry room.

 

[Beenieweenie]

First of all I want to thank every one who posted as there was some really great suggestions and information and videos and I feel like I learned a lot about my little girl from this lol.

Here is another update: So things seem to have gone back to normal-ish. She is still a bit skiddish and she did hiss at me when I walked over to the balcony once so we decided we will all avoid that area for now (which is fine for us as its getting cold out now anyways).
She is very needy with my bf, following him everywhere and demanding to sit on his lap every chance he gets!
With me she is still a bit tentative I see her eyeing me when she enters a room im in but she gets over it fast and has sat on my lap a few times. She still favours my bf but Im really happy with the progress we made so far!

I definetly took on board making sure she knows where I am, so if I walk into the room and I'm on her bad eye side I have gotten into the habit of verbally greeting her and just generally talking out loud when Im moving throughout the house so she can keep an ear on me lol.

But yeah so far so good, no more aggressive behaviour! We will continue to try to make sure her stress levels are as low as possible and that this doesnt happen again. But if it does now I know what to do!

Thanks again to everyone!!

I have included a pic of the little demon baby!

 

[Furballsmom]

You are absolutely fantastic, and she's lucky to have you both!!

 

[Alldara]

B Beenieweenie She's beautiful! Way to go on your progress. In time, she should come to trust you fully.

Keep at it and don't be afraid to keep a pocket or treats to bribe her with Though she sounds like she appreciates your gentle words and pats.

Can your boyfriend put something that smells like you both like a shirt or blanket on her tree where she spends the most time? Later, you'll adjust to one that smells only like you, perhaps in a few weeks or few months. It can even be yesterday's shirt that you swap out each day.

 

[iPappy]

This is great news! You're so dedicated to helping her!
She's a gorgeous girl, but I have her look-alike, so I'm biased!
This is Sarah She's on the left, her brother is on the right.