Cat Aggressive Since Vacation

[JulesB86]

Hi there!

We have an 8 month old persian cat. We recently went away for 6 days and hired a pet sitter who lives in our apartment building to come feed/play with her 3 times per day.
While we were gone, the sitter acted really unreliable.. left our cat alone until 2am without coming to see her or feed her (we had to get a friend to step in and call over in this case), didn’t show up on time and complained that the cat was evil and didn’t like her. Our cat is so friendly - yes she can be so playful but never aggressive towards anyone.

Since we’ve come back, she is now aggressive towards us. I can pet her for a few seconds and then she tries to bite or scratch. She’ll jump at us when we’re just sitting on the couch relaxing etc.

Just wondering what we can do about this behaviour and does it mean maybe the sitter physically mistreated her??


Thanks

Jules

 

[Pjg8r]

I’m sorry your sitter was unreliable. I don’t know that it necessarily means the sitter abused your cat but your cat was certainly mistreated if meals and care were not happening on a regular basis. Cats are creatures of routine and a cat whose family is gone and meals may or may not be provided can get very stressed. I would slowly regain your cat’s trust for you and not rush physical contact. I do think it will be ok. A few extra treats or playtimes will help. Did the sitter have other pets and your furniture may smell like them? Could you try sitting at a dining room chair (or my cat’s favorite in the bathroom on the side of the tub) and see if you can pet your baby? I definitely would not let this person be responsible for caring for the cat again.

 

[JulesB86]

I’m sorry your sitter was unreliable. I don’t know that it necessarily means the sitter abused your cat but your cat was certainly mistreated if meals and care were not happening on a regular basis. Cats are creatures of routine and a cat whose family is gone and meals may or may not be provided can get very stressed. I would slowly regain your cat’s trust for you and not rush physical contact. I do think it will be ok. A few extra treats or playtimes will help. Did the sitter have other pets and your furniture may smell like them? Could you try sitting at a dining room chair (or my cat’s favorite in the bathroom on the side of the tub) and see if you can pet your baby? I definitely would not let this person be responsible for caring for the cat again.

Ok thank you!
She is very clingy on the other hand, comes and sits on top of us which is unusual as she wasn’t a lap napper before and she runs to the door ahead of us when she senses we are going out (even when we try sneak while she is napping!). She cries out now too as soon as she wakes from her naps and comes running to us.
I think you’re right, she was probably very stressed and we need to regain her trust.
The sitter has 3 cats herself and is supposedly a cat rescuer and animal lover. Go figure!! Never again.

Anyways thank you so much, I will try your suggestions for sure

 

[Pjg8r]

I wanted to add that I travel about every other month. Sometimes it is only for three days but I have a two week trip later in June. I have a great pet sitting service I use that is run by vet students. They send me text / email photo updates at each visit along with a checklist of litter box use and meals, etc. The updates make me feel so much better. I guess I’m basically saying don’t be afraid to use a sitter again or feel like you can’t travel.

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to TCS. Is that your beautiful girl in your profile pic?

So sorry your pet sitter was unreliable. Hopefully your cat's clingy-ness is just her being happy to see you back home again. And that the aggression is temporary.

Here are some TCS articles that might be helpful.
Cat Aggression Toward People
How To Stop Playtime Aggression In Cats

Is Your Cat Stressed Out?
Potential Stressors In Cats - The Ultimate Checklist
Six Surefire Strategies To Reduce Stress In Cats

 

[JulesB86]

I wanted to add that I travel about every other month. Sometimes it is only for three days but I have a two week trip later in June. I have a great pet sitting service I use that is run by vet students. They send me text / email photo updates at each visit along with a checklist of litter box use and meals, etc. The updates make me feel so much better. I guess I’m basically saying don’t be afraid to use a sitter again or feel like you can’t travel.

Yeah we thought we had found that with this sitter but unfortunately not! We have a friend that can come when we are away again but max twice per day. How many visits per day do you think is enough?

 

[JulesB86]

Yep that’s her.
We just adopted another kitty too so we are keeping him separate for the time being. He’s small and really playful so hoping this is what she needs and for the next time we go away so she is not here alone between visits.
Thank you for the help. I will read through them now!

 

[betsygee]

This happened to us, too. The sitter was actually a horse trainer but did pet sitting on the side. She came highly recommended by a friend.

Our cats were all agitated when we got home, and not acting like themselves at all. I don't think she abused them but I sure don't think she was a 'cat person'. We never called her again.

How long have you been home from vacation? Hopefully her aggressive behavior will settle down now that you're home but if not, you might want to try a Feliway diffuser or calming treats.

We have a wonderful cat sitter now. She comes twice a day when we're gone. She has an app that tells us when she arrives and how long she stays, and she sends us photo/text updates on the cats.

 

[Pjg8r]

Mine just turned one and I have the sitter come by twice a day. They enjoy spending time with strangers so it works out great for them. I had a senior cat before that did not really enjoy attention from someone else and I only had the sitter come once a day to make sure the food was eaten, litter box used, etc. Some days the sitter saw Thumper and some days she didn’t. I also have the sitters replace food for the bird feeder so the cats can watch squirrel and bird TV while I’m gone. I definitely think twice a day is enough.

 

[neely]

How many visits per day do you think is enough?

First, I'd also like to welcome you to TCS! Your Persian girl reminds me a bit of my Persian boy. As you know Persians are a very docile breed known to possess a heartwarming temperament. I'm sure your kitten didn't understand why you left and definitely felt abandoned by the pet sitter. Thankfully you were able to contact a friend to come over since the pet sitter obviously wasn't responsible or reliable.

Second, with regard to how many visits is enough I think twice a day is adequate as long as they spend some time with your kitty. We also struggle when we have to be away from home but fortunately found a wonderful pet sitter. She was referred to us by someone in our neighborhood. Sometimes word of mouth referrals are the best. We interviewed her prior to having her pet sit for us. She not only feeds our cat, cleans the litter box, and plays with him but brings her own meals over and watches Wheel of Fortune on the the sofa with him. She gives us a very lengthy report and always calls and/or texts. She's a gem! As long as you have a trusted friend, as you mentioned, I think that would work out perfectly.

I'm not at all surprised by what you said about your kitten rushing to the door when you leave or meowing and looking for you when she wakes up from a nap. She obviously knows your routine and isn't sure if you're going away for an extended period of time or not. I agree with other members that it will take time for her to settle back into her routine but be patient and give her your attention and affection whenever she will accept it. Best of luck with the new kitty. Please feel free to post pics here if you would like: Fur Pictures and Videos Only!

 

[1 bruce 1]

This happened to us, too. The sitter was actually a horse trainer but did pet sitting on the side. She came highly recommended by a friend.

Our cats were all agitated when we got home, and not acting like themselves at all. I don't think she abused them but I sure don't think she was a 'cat person'. We never called her again.

How long have you been home from vacation? Hopefully her aggressive behavior will settle down now that you're home but if not, you might want to try a Feliway diffuser or calming treats.

We have a wonderful cat sitter now. She comes twice a day when we're gone. She has an app that tells us when she arrives and how long she stays, and she sends us photo/text updates on the cats.

We had almost the same thing happen, horse person, except they were to be a barn/pet sitter. Got home earlier than expected..
Horses especially dislike living in a urine soaked stall with no water when it's 85 degrees out. I rarely get infuriated but I was absolutely furious.
The app and the photo/text stuff is a great idea and is further proof the sitter was there at all.

 

[JulesB86]

This happened to us, too. The sitter was actually a horse trainer but did pet sitting on the side. She came highly recommended by a friend.

Our cats were all agitated when we got home, and not acting like themselves at all. I don't think she abused them but I sure don't think she was a 'cat person'. We never called her again.

How long have you been home from vacation? Hopefully her aggressive behavior will settle down now that you're home but if not, you might want to try a Feliway diffuser or calming treats.

We have a wonderful cat sitter now. She comes twice a day when we're gone. She has an app that tells us when she arrives and how long she stays, and she sends us photo/text updates on the cats.

Aw I'm so sorry to hear it happened to you too. Such a horrifying experience!
We ended up taking a hard line with her, told we were so worried about her and her response was "she's not a child, she's a cat".

We have been home 4 days now. She seems a little lost so we are giving her plenty of attention, kisses and cuddles as much as she will allow and lots of play time. Hopefully she will come around!

Oh that's a great idea actually to have an app. Much more reassuring while you're away I'm sure! Hoping now that we have adopted another kitty for her that twice per day will be enough the next time we are away! The other option would be to put her into boarding but I've heard it's really stressful for the cats to take them out of their space so really don't want to go down that road!

 

[JulesB86]

Mine just turned one and I have the sitter come by twice a day. They enjoy spending time with strangers so it works out great for them. I had a senior cat before that did not really enjoy attention from someone else and I only had the sitter come once a day to make sure the food was eaten, litter box used, etc. Some days the sitter saw Thumper and some days she didn’t. I also have the sitters replace food for the bird feeder so the cats can watch squirrel and bird TV while I’m gone. I definitely think twice a day is enough.

Ah yes - good idea! Hopefully when she becomes a little older, once per day will be ok but currently she is so so active. We rescued her when she was just 3-4 weeks old, she was taken from her mother far too early so she is really attached to us which makes it harder to go away!

LOVE the idea of a bird feeder!! That's actually genius. Can't believe I didn't think of that before! We live on the 17th floor so a few birds visit the balcony but not many. Hopefully that will attract them!!

 

[JulesB86]

First, I'd also like to welcome you to TCS! Your Persian girl reminds me a bit of my Persian boy. As you know Persians are a very docile breed known to possess a heartwarming temperament. I'm sure your kitten didn't understand why you left and definitely felt abandoned by the pet sitter. Thankfully you were able to contact a friend to come over since the pet sitter obviously wasn't responsible or reliable.

Second, with regard to how many visits is enough I think twice a day is adequate as long as they spend some time with your kitty. We also struggle when we have to be away from home but fortunately found a wonderful pet sitter. She was referred to us by someone in our neighborhood. Sometimes word of mouth referrals are the best. We interviewed her prior to having her pet sit for us. She not only feeds our cat, cleans the litter box, and plays with him but brings her own meals over and watches Wheel of Fortune on the the sofa with him. She gives us a very lengthy report and always calls and/or texts. She's a gem! As long as you have a trusted friend, as you mentioned, I think that would work out perfectly.

I'm not at all surprised by what you said about your kitten rushing to the door when you leave or meowing and looking for you when she wakes up from a nap. She obviously knows your routine and isn't sure if you're going away for an extended period of time or not. I agree with other members that it will take time for her to settle back into her routine but be patient and give her your attention and affection whenever she will accept it. Best of luck with the new kitty. Please feel free to post pics here if you would like: Fur Pictures and Videos Only!

Ah thank you so much. Hearing that makes me feel better! I was heart broken being away from her knowing she was out of sorts so just want her to feel happy and safe again. Poor baby - she literally slept on my face the first night we got back I had hairs sticking up my nose and everything but i didn't want to move her!!
Wheel of Fortune!! That is beyond cute. My husband usually leaves the TV on for her when we go out, just for background noise.
The only thing for us is we recently just moved to Qatar for work (8 months now) so still trying to find people trustworthy as it's not our usual "circle of trust" if you know what I mean.

The friend I mentioned also has a cat and we kind of made a deal that if we look after hers while she is on vacation then she will look after ours so hopefully it will work out as she is really reliable!

 

[JulesB86]

We had almost the same thing happen, horse person, except they were to be a barn/pet sitter. Got home earlier than expected..
Horses especially dislike living in a urine soaked stall with no water when it's 85 degrees out. I rarely get infuriated but I was absolutely furious.
The app and the photo/text stuff is a great idea and is further proof the sitter was there at all.

Horrific! We were tempted to set up a nanny cam before we left but don't know if that borders on privacy invasion. But you just never know what's going on while you're gone!
The poor horses. I'm so sorry to hear that happened to them! I really don't know what is wrong with people.

 

[catlover73]

I am very lucky that I had a great friend who watches my cats when I go out of town. She is also a cat lover too and has her own cats. I have multiple cats so she comes by once a day. She does spend time with the cats in addition to making sure they have fresh food, all the fountains are filled and the litter boxes are cleaned. I have 4 cats and three of them treat our cat sitter like they treat us. My oldest cat Starbuck is really shy around any one else and tends to hide. I was really surprised and happy to hear that Starbuck allowed our cat sitter to pet her the last time we were out of town. She stuck her head out from her hiding place behind the monitor so my cat sitter let her smell her hand. Starbuck petted her hand so she decided to try petting her. Starbuck actually came out and sat on my desk to be petted like she does with me. This is the first time she has ever done this when we were out of town since she was a baby. My cat sitter has experience with her own timid cats and has given Starbuck plenty of time and patience. Her attitude was I will do a visual check to see if Starbuck is ok but she will get pets when she decides she is ready and lets me know. My cat sitter was so happy that Starbuck finally asked her for attention. She wanted to take a picture to send us but decided not too because she did not want to scare Starbuck.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

I hate that this happened to your baby! I know how furious and heartbroken you are on her behalf. The articles mentioned are all very good, so I'll just add one more, "in case of."

Separation Anxiety In Cats

 

[JulesB86]

I am very lucky that I had a great friend who watches my cats when I go out of town. She is also a cat lover too and has her own cats. I have multiple cats so she comes by once a day. She does spend time with the cats in addition to making sure they have fresh food, all the fountains are filled and the litter boxes are cleaned. I have 4 cats and three of them treat our cat sitter like they treat us. My oldest cat Starbuck is really shy around any one else and tends to hide. I was really surprised and happy to hear that Starbuck allowed our cat sitter to pet her the last time we were out of town. She stuck her head out from her hiding place behind the monitor so my cat sitter let her smell her hand. Starbuck petted her hand so she decided to try petting her. Starbuck actually came out and sat on my desk to be petted like she does with me. This is the first time she has ever done this when we were out of town since she was a baby. My cat sitter has experience with her own timid cats and has given Starbuck plenty of time and patience. Her attitude was I will do a visual check to see if Starbuck is ok but she will get pets when she decides she is ready and lets me know. My cat sitter was so happy that Starbuck finally asked her for attention. She wanted to take a picture to send us but decided not too because she did not want to scare Starbuck.

Aw I’m happy you’ve been lucky like that! Must be so relieving to have someone who understands cats and you can trust them!!

 

[JulesB86]

I hate that this happened to your baby! I know how furious and heartbroken you are on her behalf. The articles mentioned are all very good, so I'll just add one more, "in case of."

Separation Anxiety In Cats

Thank you! I had a read - certainly sounds like separation anxiety. Poor girl. Really wish we could take her with us when we travel! But I wonder if it would be too stressful for her.

 

[catlover73]

Ah thank you so much. Hearing that makes me feel better! I was heart broken being away from her knowing she was out of sorts so just want her to feel happy and safe again. Poor baby - she literally slept on my face the first night we got back I had hairs sticking up my nose and everything but i didn't want to move her!!
Wheel of Fortune!! That is beyond cute. My husband usually leaves the TV on for her when we go out, just for background noise.
The only thing for us is we recently just moved to Qatar for work (8 months now) so still trying to find people trustworthy as it's not our usual "circle of trust" if you know what I mean.

The friend I mentioned also has a cat and we kind of made a deal that if we look after hers while she is on vacation then she will look after ours so hopefully it will work out as she is really reliable!

It looks like you did find a reliable cat sitter for the future. Hopefully now that you are home and she is getting back into her normal routine she will settle into things. You are doing an excellent job of helping her to feel safe and loved. I am not surprised that she is looking for you when she wakes up. Her world was turned upside down and she just needs time to realize you are still her humans.

One thing that has probably been helpful with my cats is that my cat sitter interacts with my cats when she comes to visit when we are home. I would give your baby some time to settle back into her normal routine. Later it might be good if both of you spend some time around each other's cats when the owners are home. It is easier on the cats if they are comfortable with the sitter before you travel.