Can someone please help me, I'm desperate.

misty8723

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I know this is rambling, but I'm so upset and sitting here sobbing.

Monday morning I took my husband to the ER because he was feeling poorly. He has something going on, we don't what. We think there is likely a physical cause but haven't found what yet. Sunday and Monday he was feeling very jittery, like shaking inside, so I decided to take him to the ER. I called his psychiatrist office before I did. Because he mentioned suicidal thoughts (and I emphasis that's ALL they were) the intake person and his psychiatrist got together and decided to involuntarily commit him to a mental facility. It is the law and they legally do that, just strip away a person's rights like they don't matter.

He's in a place where they are doing nothing to supposedly help him, but they are holding him literally prisoner. If anything is going to send him over the edge, it will be this. He's 71 years old and not in great health. They withheld his medicine (blood pressure, diabetes, thyroid, heart) because the doctor hadn't authorized it.

He calls me every chance he gets and tells me how awful it is. He says he isn't safe. I've contacted the psychiatrist who put him in this mess and she tried to justify it, but I think I have convinced her it was a horrible mistake. She claims she's trying to get him released.

If he has to go to court after the 7 days are up, the judge can order him held indefinitely. Isn't this a great country? I just don't know what to do. I'm so desperate to get him out of there, this may push me over the edge too.

If anybody can offer some suggestions for me I'll be eternally grateful. I'm a very private person and don't normally share anything personal, but that's how desperate I am right now.

I will add that the two lessons I have learned is (1) keep your thoughts to yourself, nobody is out to help you and (2) don't trust anyone.
 

Norachan

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I'm so sorry to hear this misty8723 misty8723

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

I don't know anything about the health services or the law in the US. Would it help if you called his regular doctor and asked them to intervene? Denying someone their medication sounds like the worst way to treat anyone who is sick.

Sorry I don't have any other suggestions. Sending you my love.

:heartshape:
 

sabian

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I'm sorry to hear about this and that your having to go through it. It's really messed up. Seems like I remember something like this in the news a couple of years ago but it was a teenage girl. I honestly have no experience with anything like this but, I would suspect calling a lawyer and running it by them would be my first step. I'm sure one would at least give you your options over the phone and go from there. I think I would also do some goggle searches and see if you can find any similar cases. Maybe involuntary psychiatric commitment or something like that. I wish you all the luck and, if I can come up with more I'll be sure to post again. Keep us updated.
 

ArchyCat

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You are not rambling! If your husband is an insulin dependent diabetic, they are putting his life at risk! That and withholding his blood pressure medication is also life threatening. It maybe time to hire a lawyer to deal with this!

Please keep us updated! And good luck!
 

susanm9006

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If he were my family member I would go to the hospital in the morning and stay until you get his medication issues resolved. I would bring all of his current prescriptions with you. I would also check to see if they have a social worker who can help you understand the short term and long term hold process and what you might do to fight it.
 
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Kieka

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What state are you in? Psychiatric holds vary by state so where you are matters. I do have some experience with 5150 holds in California. Although it's usually not more then 72 hours and a judge isn't involved in deciding to release. I know someone who benefited greatly from it. It isn't something the doctors do lightly so there must have been something more then your comment that concerned them.

From what you've said, I am guessing either Arkansas or New Mexico. Which means that you have a right to an attorney and that would be your best move. Especially if they are denying medications and that is dangerous to his health. As to you, try to calm him down and lower the stress. The doctors and judge won't agree to release if they think he is still at risk. I know you are stressed and agitated about the whole thing but he needs you to help get him through this. Maybe think of it as a little vacation, or guess why other patients are in, or psych hold bingo, or anything to help him relax enough to be calm enough for the doctors to feel they can release him. Hopefully your doctor can do something. Once he's out you still should get a lawyer and see if there is action you can take after.
 

ArchyCat

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misty8723 misty8723 The left hand display for the thread starter sets North Carolina as her location.

After reading her post, -->

If he were my family member I would go to the hospital in the morning and stay until you get his medication issues resolved. I would bring all of his current prescriptions with you. I would also check to see if they have a social worker who can help you understand the short term and long term hold process and what you might do to fight it.
I think this is excellent advice! Wait to see a lawyer until after you consult a social worker.
 

Maria Bayote

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Please hang in there. It really is an upsetting situation you are in right now, but you have to think also of your well-being. Your husband needs you now more than ever.

I go with the others - please contact your lawyer.

Be strong. Sending my prayers ..
 

Margret

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I believe that most hospitals have someone called a "Patient Representative." Talk to the Patient Representative at the mental hospital; tell him or her that necessary medication is being withheld and that you want those medications provided to your husband immediately and the responsible persons fired for cause. Be very firm - restrained anger is what you want to project. Bring your husband's medicine bottles from home with the prescription information on them. And if you have a lawyer you may want to bring him or her along, as well.

You probably won't achieve the firings, but it should get the medication issue taken care post-haste.

Margret
 
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Margret

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And, by the way. If none of this advice works within one day, I'd look for local television stations that have some kind of Help Line or are asking people to inform them of stories, and I'd talk to them. Once investigative reporters get involved, people tend to get very nervous...

You can ask them not to divulge your or your husband's names; they know about HIPAA.

Margret
 

Mia6

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I am so sorry to hear this. I thought you could only hold someone 72 hours in USA unless docs
thought you were a danger to yourself or others. DId your husband explain why he didn't feel
safe? Has he had a recent change in his psychiatric meds? I'm sure by now they are giving him
the other meds he takes because it is now Thursday am and you took him Monday am? I think
they must have a liason or social worker you can speak with. I would ask to speak with the docs
who are treating him at the facility. Please try to stay calm. You need to take care of yourself as well.
We are all here for you. Someone is always around day or night.

Love,💝
Mia:hugs:
 

Margret

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I asked my husband to read this thread and weigh in as well.

The Social Worker is someone who can help you understand the process and perhaps advocate for both you and your husband. She or he can also, perhaps, check into what kind of therapy your husband is getting in the hospital (if they have him on a psych hold they darn well ought to be supplying therapy!), and insist that he get therapy if he isn't.

The Patient Representative is a person who can deal with the medical malpractice that's happening with the denial of medications to your husband, and, in point of fact, that is the primary job of a Patient Representative - to catch this kind of error and do something about it before it gets a patient killed and the hospital sued.

These are both in your first line of defense.

My husband adds that, if the Patient Representative and the Social Worker are unable to help you, your second line of defense is to find the Administrator's office at the hospital and go there. What you want is the waiting room for the Administrator's office. Once someone actually gets into the office, paperwork begins to proliferate, and the Administrator and his or her flunkies don't like that, so they'll try to take care of things while you're still in the waiting room. (I know; :rolleyes: it's enough to drive a sane person crazy, but it's also human nature so make it work for you.)

And, as others have already said, please keep us in the loop on this! We worry.

Margret
 

di and bob

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It IS a horrible situation, but try to calm down and remember there is a reason he is there. Obviously the ER thought he was at risk enough to get this all going. He was under a psychiatric Dr. already and you said both he and the hospitol decided he was a real risk to himself. This is from observing and listening to your husband. Think what would have happened if they HADN'T listened and he would have committed suicide. It is common in any hospitol setting to withhold all medications without a prescription. I would go there with his bottles and demand they call his medical/psychiatric Dr. at once and get things rolling.
Of course he calls and says he doesn't want to be there, no one would. But please keep in mind it might have saved his life. Things seem out of control right now, but he needs you to try to make sense out of all of this and you can't if you remain so emotional and hostile without trying to get to the bottom of all this. Take a deep breathe, demand to talk to the social worker or representative which all hospitols of all kinds have and get to the bottom of this. Don't go in thinking he will be there forever, he desperately needs help and they are able to provide it. Support your husband, but also make it clear that you want to do what is best for his own sanity, and yours. If he states he has thoughts of suicide, and he must if he brings it up, this MUST be taken seriously, and they did. Please let them help him......
 

Tik cat's mum

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I'm sorry you are going through this I wish I had answers for you. All I can say is I hope this mess is sorted out fast I'm thinking of you.:alright:
 
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