can someone explain this weird "play" my cats do?

[Babypinkweeb]

I have 2 cats and even thought they are not best buds, they get along fine.

Almost every night they will both do their laps running in our apartment and tussle. I don't think it's actual fighting as it happens almost every day. My older cat (B) would be silent but my younger cat (N) would sometimes hiss or yowl dramatically. The reason I don't believe it's real fight because N loves to run up to sniff and greet B, and often prefers to hang out in B's frequent spots. B seems like the tolerant older bro with the annoying little bro N.

However sometimes I don't understand their play fighting. I used to think B was bullying N because N would hiss and meow/yowl loudly, but since I have often caught N instigating the fight by smacking B. Very common is N likes to hide under the coffee table or bed when this happens, and B remains outside. Once B is bored of it and turns to leave, N will come out and give his butt a smack. But sometimes he will do it with a little hiss?

B never hissed at N, and they can share food and space in close proximity no problem. They're not cuddling nor grooming each other but I don't think there is bad blood between them. Attached is a picture from earlier tonight.

 

[NekoM]

My two boys do something similar. It’s just play fighting I think - no one gets hurt and there no dominance. They then generally settle down for the night. Every now and again my older cat will try and pin down the younger one by the neck, younger ones pretty squirrelly and gets out of it before I break it up, I’d be interested in hearing how others deal with that.

 

[ArtNJ]

Sometimes cats hiss a little in play as part of the process. I hear some even hiss at toys.

Another thing that might be going on is that its super common for a smaller or less enthusiastic cat to hiss when play gets to be a bit much. Sometimes this is a very regular part of a play session. The hiss is just a communication that its a bit too much. If there is any discomfort involved, I believe it to be on the level of a head noogie. You know all is well when, as in your case, the hisser is initiating play sometimes and not generally avoiding or acting scared of the other cat.

 

[Babypinkweeb]

My two boys do something similar. It’s just play fighting I think - no one gets hurt and there no dominance. They then generally settle down for the night. Every now and again my older cat will try and pin down the younger one by the neck, younger ones pretty squirrelly and gets out of it before I break it up, I’d be interested in hearing how others deal with that.

The older one B tends to do the pinning down if it does happen!

Sometimes cats hiss a little in play as part of the process. I hear some even hiss at toys.

Another thing that might be going on is that its super common for a smaller or less enthusiastic cat to hiss when play gets to be a bit much. Sometimes this is a very regular part of a play session. The hiss is just a communication that its a bit too much. If there is any discomfort involved, I believe it to be on the level of a head noogie. You know all is well when, as in your case, the hisser is initiating play sometimes and not generally avoiding or acting scared of the other cat.

I see! My older cat almost never hissed, only during bad vet visits or bathing due to accidents. The younger cat N sounds so upset when he hisses, but he turns around and smacks B if B starts to walk away from the fight! It's such an oxymoron of an action haha! A hiss to say no but a smack to say dont leave? Or maybe he's the bratty type who only likes fighting if he's winning

 

[ArtNJ]

Or maybe he's the bratty type who only likes fighting if he's winning

In fairness, I think there *is* often some mild discomfort involved when one is bigger and/or overly enthusiastic. But often forgotten immediately after it ends!

 

[OopsyDaisy]

My babies do this too. They are just play fighting but Ash can be a bit aggressive sometimes. He holds on to Lulu's neck tightly and the first time I saw it, I freaked out a bit. I realized that it was normal and that she would set her own boundaries with him by hissing, slapping or meowing very loudly. The tail wags and he gets the message to back off. They love each other. It's all good.