Can anyone shed some light on this behaviour?

[Cozzy]

So first the background as it seems relevant. I have two Kittys, Zeke who is 3 yr old male, one eyed, half deaf, FIV+ and Aurora who is 1.5 yr old female with an amputated tail. Both are rescued street cats from Macedonia, I adopted Zeke first around a year ago and the Aurora about 7 months later. Both have the option to go outside, Aurora loves it and will roam but Zeke wont use a cat flap and if I do let him out stays in the back or front garden and wants to come back in after a short while. Aurora is the cuddle monster who will literally sit on your face and loves being picked up. Zeke is always around me but likes to just sit close by and rarely gets on a lap.

The thing I cant quite work out is their current behaviour. The intro with them went quite well and quickly compared to others I have read about. Neither were bothered by smells, Aurora was hissy for a while and did a little bit of chasing Zeke but he would never hide and wasnt stressed by it. He seemed to be the timid one and Aurora asserting her domiance. Zeke however then started standing up for himself and they now roll around with each other, play fighting I think. My worry is Zeke now does it to Aurora constantly. He will look for her and pounce and chase her around. Auroras not innocent as she can definitely give as good as she gets and can sometimes start it as well but it definitely seems to be more Zeke doing it. They do eventually settle down and sleep next to each other but Zeke will still often try to whack Aurora when she is next to him. Aurora will try to groom him as well and he will allow it for about 10 secs then whacks her. There has been times he starts to groom her and then bites her neck instead.
Aurora will often get annoyed with Zeke if he is chasing her and she just wants to rest and she will just go out if he wont stop. Im worried about this because I dont want her to feel chased out her own home. She is the kind of cat as well that has no problem walking into other peoples home so Im worried if she doesnt feel safe here she will find herself a new home with god knows who!

Im thinking that either Zeke is jealous of Aurora because she isnt scared to seek all the cuddles (Zeke definitely wants affection and loves it but isnt as confident as Aurora) or he is asserting his dominance and trying to push her out.
When they 'fight' they pounce on each other, roll around, with each other in a headlock kangaroo kicking each others heads. They have never hurt each other yet and rarely any noise but Aurora will growl occasionally. There is no ears back or puffed tails but Chunks of fur does get left around the carpet but it seems to be Zeke's.

I guess what Im not sure about is are they both happy how this is or is this stressing them out? I never expected them to be friends, I mean my dream would have been for them to snuggle together and love each other but I was also realistic that they will likely just tolerate each other and ignore. I guess Im confused because they seem to be neither. They seem to be in this wierd space of being fine sleeping next to each other but otherwise constantly 'fighting' and asserting dominance.

Any thoughts are welcomed.

I'll pop some pictures in so you can see how they are together when sleeping. Which I get makes them look like angels together but thats what makes me so confused why the seem to constantly attack each other when awake!

 

[tarasgirl06]

So first the background as it seems relevant. I have two Kittys, Zeke who is 3 yr old male, one eyed, half deaf, FIV+ and Aurora who is 1.5 yr old female with an amputated tail. Both are rescued street cats from Macedonia, I adopted Zeke first around a year ago and the Aurora about 7 months later. Both have the option to go outside, Aurora loves it and will roam but Zeke wont use a cat flap and if I do let him out stays in the back or front garden and wants to come back in after a short while. Aurora is the cuddle monster who will literally sit on your face and loves being picked up. Zeke is always around me but likes to just sit close by and rarely gets on a lap.

The thing I cant quite work out is their current behaviour. The intro with them went quite well and quickly compared to others I have read about. Neither were bothered by smells, Aurora was hissy for a while and did a little bit of chasing Zeke but he would never hide and wasnt stressed by it. He seemed to be the timid one and Aurora asserting her domiance. Zeke however then started standing up for himself and they now roll around with each other, play fighting I think. My worry is Zeke now does it to Aurora constantly. He will look for her and pounce and chase her around. Auroras not innocent as she can definitely give as good as she gets and can sometimes start it as well but it definitely seems to be more Zeke doing it. They do eventually settle down and sleep next to each other but Zeke will still often try to whack Aurora when she is next to him. Aurora will try to groom him as well and he will allow it for about 10 secs then whacks her. There has been times he starts to groom her and then bites her neck instead.
Aurora will often get annoyed with Zeke if he is chasing her and she just wants to rest and she will just go out if he wont stop. Im worried about this because I dont want her to feel chased out her own home. She is the kind of cat as well that has no problem walking into other peoples home so Im worried if she doesnt feel safe here she will find herself a new home with god knows who!

Im thinking that either Zeke is jealous of Aurora because she isnt scared to seek all the cuddles (Zeke definitely wants affection and loves it but isnt as confident as Aurora) or he is asserting his dominance and trying to push her out.
When they 'fight' they pounce on each other, roll around, with each other in a headlock kangaroo kicking each others heads. They have never hurt each other yet and rarely any noise but Aurora will growl occasionally. There is no ears back or puffed tails but Chunks of fur does get left around the carpet but it seems to be Zeke's.

I guess what Im not sure about is are they both happy how this is or is this stressing them out? I never expected them to be friends, I mean my dream would have been for them to snuggle together and love each other but I was also realistic that they will likely just tolerate each other and ignore. I guess Im confused because they seem to be neither. They seem to be in this wierd space of being fine sleeping next to each other but otherwise constantly 'fighting' and asserting dominance.

Any thoughts are welcomed.

I'll pop some pictures in so you can see how they are together when sleeping. Which I get makes them look like angels together but thats what makes me so confused why the seem to constantly attack each other when awake!

Hello Cozzy , Zeke and Aurora! Hope you're enjoying it here at TCS!
Well, a few questions: How long have the two been together? Are they spayed and neutered?
Since you say there is never any outright violence/blood drawn, I would say they are okay. Cats, like humans and most other living beings, will establish a natural order. This sounds like what they are doing and since you say Aurora will 'give as good as she gets' it sounds like she is trying to establish dominance over Zeke, who isn't going to let that happen if he can help it! Since they sleep together so angelically, I don't think you have anything to worry about. And every time they go out, they may pick up other scents. Cats are very sensitive in this area, so they may also pick up these alien scents and be stressed by them. I'm with the camp that advocates for keeping cats indoors only for their health and wellbeing and my own peace of mind. My two, Baby Su, 17, and Elvis, 14, have lots of windows, perches, cat and general purpose furniture, scratching surfaces, and toys, so they are very happy to stay in.
THANK YOU for adopting special needs cats!

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Just seconding what @tarasgirl said so well. I don't think these to have, or will have, any real issues. And two cats who snuggle down together like they do are, at the core, fine together. They may just be like some friends...getting along very well, but prone to occasional heated discussions.

 

[ArtNJ]

For all the health issues, these are still young cats, and young cats play fight, and practice hunting (pouncing, stalking) and defensive (on the back legs raking) tactics. All predators practice hunting and fighting behaviors through play and cats are no different. Cats do the exact things you are mentioning. For example, the raking with the back legs is practicing the classic defensive position cats use in a real fight -- in play the only difference is they (mostly) keep the claws in and dont try to dig deep. Cats are not simple, and there are certainly a few behaviors that many cats do that aren't strictly linked to hunting, fighting or defense behaviors. Whapping the other cat on the head to get their attention and initiate play is an example, something many many cats do. Its just like one 7 year old human boy poking his brother in the car to get attention.

The bottom line is that your cats are already friends. This is perhaps unexpected given all of their issues, a truly wonderful and joyous surprise. In each other they have found someone they can be young and rambunctuous with. That doesn't necessarily mean that one doesn't want more play than the other, and isn't a PITA about it. Relationships are often like that, in cats, and also with human couples, as my wife could certainly tell you. One might have to play a little less than they want, and one might have to play a little more, even if they have a headache. Or growl, turn around and go to sleep

 

[Cozzy]

Thank you all for the replies. Both cats are spayed and neutered.
I guess it might just be natural behaviour and I need to stop worrying! Aurora is a sassy little street cat so I wonder whether she'll always be drawn to wandering but I keep reassuring myself she always comes back.
Zeke is about 1.5kg heavier than Aurora which definitely gives him the advantage and he is usually the one pinning Aurora down which probably doesnt help. Its lucky that Aurora is a sassy little thing otherwise it would be very unequal!
One thing I have noticed it that Zeke is worse with going for Aurora when it comes to me being in my bed. This has always been Zekes favourite time of the day, sleeping in bed with me so I think he is very defensive about Aurora stealing this and will not share. To be fair when Aurora first arrived, he was very submissive and she took over a lot of his other spots so I guess hes determined not to let her have this one.
I have noticed as well Aurora has been hissing at him more when they play and she has had enough so I hope that he will pick up on the signals and start to realise hes being a pain in the arse!
Maybe they will settle down as they get older because they are both quite young still. They are like babies also in that they are at their cutest when sleeping and peaceful haha

 

[tarasgirl06]

Thank you all for the replies. Both cats are spayed and neutered.
I guess it might just be natural behaviour and I need to stop worrying! Aurora is a sassy little street cat so I wonder whether she'll always be drawn to wandering but I keep reassuring myself she always comes back.
Zeke is about 1.5kg heavier than Aurora which definitely gives him the advantage and he is usually the one pinning Aurora down which probably doesnt help. Its lucky that Aurora is a sassy little thing otherwise it would be very unequal!
One thing I have noticed it that Zeke is worse with going for Aurora when it comes to me being in my bed. This has always been Zekes favourite time of the day, sleeping in bed with me so I think he is very defensive about Aurora stealing this and will not share. To be fair when Aurora first arrived, he was very submissive and she took over a lot of his other spots so I guess hes determined not to let her have this one.
I have noticed as well Aurora has been hissing at him more when they play and she has had enough so I hope that he will pick up on the signals and start to realise hes being a pain in the arse!
Maybe they will settle down as they get older because they are both quite young still. They are like babies also in that they are at their cutest when sleeping and peaceful haha

Yes, I think your assessment is spot on. Elvis still pursues, and sometimes chases, Baby Su even though Baby Su was here first and Elvis has been part of our family for five years. It's just his personality -- he is territorial and prey-driven. She was born feral and is quite able to stand up for herself, though she has developed a pattern of running from him, which of course spurs him on to chase her. They both sleep with me and sometimes there are growling and hissing moments, but we work it out.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

They may always do a fair amount of hissing back and forth. That comes under the heading of "heated discussion," and even best cat buds seem to do a certain amount of it. Nothing to fret about in the long run.