bonded pair or kitten for our resident cat?

[julia123123]

About 5 months ago, we adopted a senior (age 10, but I think she's older) cat from the shelter. We had another senior cat in the home, but she sadly died a couple of months ago. I have to admit that our current cat seems to enjoy being an only cat. She's a bit standoffish and just does her own thing, doesn't seem to need human OR feline companionship.

But...I have a huge hole in my heart from losing my other cat. I'd had her since she was a kitten and she was such a loving, cuddly companion. I miss her so much, and I want to adopt again. I want to minimize stress for our resident cat (Calliope), who was declawed by a former owner and is NOT the playful type. I thought that if I adopted a bonded pair, perhaps they'd play with each other and not bother Calliope much. A kitten would be relentless, but at least I wouldn't have to worry about them fighting/hurting each other like with an adult cat and the kitten couldn't reach Calliope on any of her daily perches. I could keep them separate most of the time. I work from home and could play with the kitten quite a bit to keep him occupied.

I'd love to get some feedback! We had a disastrous time trying to introduce a new cat to the household with our former cat. We had some very bad matches (cats who aggressively attacked her) before getting Calliope, and even THAT was a struggle. Three months in, former cat still despised/hissed at Calliope, but at least they weren't fighting. But it was months of baby gates and rotating rooms and litter boxes and living room time, and it was just awful. I want to minimize a disruptive situation and have a smooth transition.

Thanks!

 

[maggie101]

When my cat josie was senior she was more sociable. I rescued peaches 5 weeks old,very tiny! I let her loose. She couldn't jump on the couch yet so territory wasn't a problem. First day Josie would growl,next day clean peaches for a long time. I rescued Maggie 3 months old peaches 6 months they got along OK usually. Certainly no cleaning. Now Maggie is 8 and very territorial,peaches is ruler. So if I had rescued Maggie when she was older,socializing would be more difficult but possible
Just be prepared if you adopt a cat 1 yr+ old. As long as you have patience and time it is possible. There are so many cats that need your help. It is interesting to see how thier personality changes

 

[ArtNJ]

I don't think a bonded pair really changes anything. We had an 8 year old or so and adopted two sibling kittens. One was an unusually chill kitten, and got along with the older cat well enough. One was a more typical kind of hyper kitten, and when he wasn't playing with the other kitten, he bugged the heck out of the older cat and there were big problems.

Realistically, with a 10 year old, a long kind of stressful introduction is kind of normal. It seems like you do the slow process for as long as you can stand, put them together, and there is stress and grumpyness for weeks to months,very slowly improving. I call it the long slow crawl to toleration. Sure things can go much better. They can also go much worse. If your not prepared for the long slow crawl to toleration, dont adopt.

 

[julia123123]

Yeah, that's what we did with my super grumpy alpha girl and our new cat. It was 4 months of baby gates and half-introductions. To be fair, though, my alpha girl hated EVERYONE except for me and her bonded companion. She was the original grumpy cat. I was sure that she'd want another companion after hers died, but now I see that I should've just left things alone. At least our resident cat isn't as grumpy, and hopefully she will be more open to a new member!

 

[Tobermory]

Like A ArtNJ , I had an older cat (7 years old) when I adopted two sibling female kittens. They thought he was just the best toy ever! So in addition to running riot around the house having a wonderful time getting into mischief, Lily and Iris also spent a lot of time pouncing on Max and generally testing the limits of his patience. Fortunately, he was not a particularly dominant cat and although he wasn't amused, he tolerated them. And over time, he came to bond with Iris while Lily became more of a loner...except they were all bonded to me because I interacted with them constantly. I was lucky not to experience any major problems with any of them, but that's not necessarily the norm.

You really haven't had your kitty for very long. It can take quite a while for them to overcome their past experiences enough to trust you with their affection. Love can grow over time if you're patient. When I adopted Mocha four years ago, she was three and had spent her life in shelters and on the street. It really took more than a year for her to trust me (mostly), and that was after many months of sitting near her, talking to her, and trying to actively include her in our household. You've probably done these things, but it's just a thought!

 

[BoaztheAdventureCat]

It's interesting to hear other people's input. I'd suggest a bonded pair so that they can focus on each other and let their older "auntie" rest contentedly and decide for herself if she wants to be involved. My Dad's cat Pretty Kitty was a senior when we brought my kitten Boaz home and she HATED him. However, when my Dad and my brother brought home their kittens Asher and Posie 2 months later, Boaz had other cats his age to play with, so he was no longer so fascinated with Pretty Kitty. Pretty Kitty, in turn, was no longer hostile to him. She just did her own thing and tolerated our three young ones.

I've heard that it's usually easier to integrate a new kitten(s) into a house that already has a cat than it is to integrate a new adult cat, but I've also heard of people having good success when adding a new adult cat to a house that already has an adult cat.

Maybe another option is to adopt a male cat close to the age of Calliope?

Let us know what you decide! I'd love to hear about how it goes especially if you pick a bonded pair of adult cats.

 

[maggie101]

My old cat Josie was like a referee. She would sit and watch my younger cats play and get involved if they were fighting, even break it up!!

 

[julia123123]

It's interesting to hear other people's input. I'd suggest a bonded pair so that they can focus on each other and let their older "auntie" rest contentedly and decide for herself if she wants to be involved. My Dad's cat Pretty Kitty was a senior when we brought my kitten Boaz home and she HATED him. However, when my Dad and my brother brought home their kittens Asher and Posie 2 months later, Boaz had other cats his age to play with, so he was no longer so fascinated with Pretty Kitty. Pretty Kitty, in turn, was no longer hostile to him. She just did her own thing and tolerated our three young ones.

I've heard that it's usually easier to integrate a new kitten(s) into a house that already has a cat than it is to integrate a new adult cat, but I've also heard of people having good success when adding a new adult cat to a house that already has an adult cat.

Maybe another option is to adopt a male cat close to the age of Calliope?

Let us know what you decide! I'd love to hear about how it goes especially if you pick a bonded pair of adult cats.

I agree! I've gotten a lot of advice over the past couple of days and the main theme seems to be, bonded pair under the age of 6 months. Less stressful for everyone. I did bring a kitten (just one) home about 12 years ago and she ran our older guy ragged! But he was so sweet and gentle that he let her rule the roost. After he died (when she was 11), I had a TERRIBLE time trying to integrate another cat (adults). She was alpha, yet was also afraid of other cats. It was just a really rough time. Our current cat is more laid-back, but I think she'd be more of a "I'll tolerate it if I must" kind of girl.

 

[julia123123]

My old cat Josie was like a referee. She would sit and watch my younger cats play and get involved if they were fighting, even break it up!!View attachment 418364

Awww...cuties!

 

[julia123123]

Like A ArtNJ , I had an older cat (7 years old) when I adopted two sibling female kittens. They thought he was just the best toy ever! So in addition to running riot around the house having a wonderful time getting into mischief, Lily and Iris also spent a lot of time pouncing on Max and generally testing the limits of his patience. Fortunately, he was not a particularly dominant cat and although he wasn't amused, he tolerated them. And over time, he came to bond with Iris while Lily became more of a loner...except they were all bonded to me because I interacted with them constantly. I was lucky not to experience any major problems with any of them, but that's not necessarily the norm.

You really haven't had your kitty for very long. It can take quite a while for them to overcome their past experiences enough to trust you with their affection. Love can grow over time if you're patient. When I adopted Mocha four years ago, she was three and had spent her life in shelters and on the street. It really took more than a year for her to trust me (mostly), and that was after many months of sitting near her, talking to her, and trying to actively include her in our household. You've probably done these things, but it's just a thought!

Oh, definitely! I work from home and we're together all the time. Her personality hasn't changed a bit, even from her shelter time. She is affectionate in that she likes to rub against ankles and sleep on your hip/stomach at night, but she is definitely not a lap cat or a snuggler. She just likes to do her own thing. We've had her for about 5 months, I think. She's older and mainly likes to sleep! I miss having a cat in my lap and there is an overabundance at our shelter. The nice thing is that we have two floors and would keep the kittens downstairs. Our resident cat sleeps upstairs most of the day, so she'd have plenty of non-kitten time. I'm hoping that they'll mainly be preoccupied with each other, anyway!

 

[maggie101]

My cat Coco is a lap cat and I sometimes find it annoying. When I'm fixing to eat or do a crossword on my lap,use my tablet,and she puts her paws on my neck so I can't see the tv,or she will get on my shoulders and stare way down at my food