Big Changes Coming

[Lari]

Hey, there's probably already a million threads about this, but I'm making my own.

So Lelia and I are going to be moving. Across town. Into a new bigger 3 bedroom apartment with my bf and his cat. He's been there since May 19 and the plan was to move Lelia in this weekend so she could get used to the place...before I leave her for 8 days to go on vacation. I planned on taking next Monday off (my students will be gone - it's a 'clean the classroom' day) so I could have three days with her mostly here, but now I'm being asked to babysit and other stuff on Saturday.

I have a few questions.
1) should I bring any of her stuff over early? I can fit most everything in my car at once minus the cat tree, and I'm not sure if bringing her scent or allowing her to keep toys and stuff she plays with every day here until moving day is better.

2) she's used to sleeping with me so I thought I'd set her up in our bedroom though the door's not that good. We won't be able to fit the cat tree in there. She loves that thing - would she be okay without it for a bit?

3) She's met my bf's cat on her turf when S has been here while I was catsitting. I figure we'd have to reintroduce, I'm just worried about her losing all the confidence I've built up in her.

4) I'm definitely worried about leaving her so soon after moving (11 days after move in), but eight days gone is too long for her to stay in the old place and be checked on once a day by herself I think. I just need reassurances that my baby will be okay I guess.

Sorry for the wall of text. This whole thing has just been weighing on my mind lately.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi!
1, yes take at least some of it to move her scent over to the new place, just maybe not all the toys
2, she'll be ok without the tree for a little bit
3, I would start with a reintroduction and see how things go
4, this to me is iffy, a once a day check isn't all that bad.
However, what I'd do is in the new place put some of what you take over into a specific room that'll be only for her.

I think a room other than the bedroom - it isn't going to make sense to her to have you there and be able to sleep with you, and then have just your bf there in the bedroom. Do that when you get back.

Anyway, there's my two cents...it'll all work out, but hopefully there aren't too many bumps in the road

 

[Furballsmom]

Just in case you haven't seen these, there might be something that helps;

9 Tips That Will Help Your Kitten Adapt To A New Apartment
How To Make Your Home Bigger (at Least For Your Cats)
How To Move With Your Cat To A New Home In A Safe Way
The Multi-cat Household

 

[Lari]

4, this to me is iffy, a once a day check isn't all that bad.

I have been waffling so much on whether it's better to bring her now or wait until after vacation. I don't want her to be alone. Idk. I did take the day off.

 

[Lari]

I will feel better knowing she's getting fed three times a day and played with twice like she's used to. I'll set up the extra bedroom for her probably then, if you think that's best. Even if I'll miss sleeping with her.

Sorry I'm being all rambly. I know everything will be fine eventually, I just tend to fret when Lelia is involved.

 

[Furballsmom]

Not to worry, you're not being rambly you're a concerned cat mum!

 

[Lari]

Why is my stuff in a box?

 

[Furballsmom]

Oh drat, I somehow missed that you posted this, those are darling photos! What a cutie!!

 

[Lari]

My bf recently discovered there's a sliding door that can divide the apartment in half!

This will make it easier to keep them separated for a while without leaving either in just one room too long. That'll be a big help I think.

 

[Lari]

My poor girl! I'm feeling absolutely like the worst right now. Lelia would not go in her carrier this afternoon and I had to chase her to the point she was panting and pull her out of her cat tree and force her into the carrier. She was so scared she was shaking the whole time in the car. We ended up setting her in our room for now because it was the best place and she left the carrier then went back in and has stayed there.

Clearly I should not be allowed to have a cat. I wouldn't blame her if she never trusted me again.

Why did I ever think I could do this moving in with my boyfriend thing? I mess up everything.

 

[AbbysMom]

Noooooooo! Stop all of that negative stuff! This is all going to be ok eventually.

 

[Lari]

I hope you're right. I may be crying a bit. She's moved from the carrier to a corner. I guess it's progress

 

[Lari]

Okay, she ate the food I left out for her and is exploring the room some. She hasn't given me a sign it's okay to touch/pet her, but she did come lie on the other side of the bed from me for a while.

 

[Lari]

Now she's missing! I saw her multiple times during the night because I didn't sleep well, and she even crawled on my legs a few times, but this morning she's nowhere to be found.

We have her this half of the apartment to explore in case she didn't want to be in her when my bf was sleeping and there's just so much of his crap. We looked everywhere - he even checked outside even though I don't see how she could have gotten out. He's still looking even though I told him to stop in case she's scared.

I'm now worried she's hurt or dead or somehow did

...

She showed up as I was typing. I have no idea where she went but at least she's okay.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi! I apologise again, I'm not getting alerts for your posts.
Your cat is fine based on the fact that she ate, and that's pretty darn cool you-all have a pocket door that divides the place!
Anyway, do try and stress less, and the next time you need to get her into the carrier, there are calming products available that should help, sprays and wipes so you can apply the product to the carrier and your clothing, treats, and diffusers for the house.
Keep an eye out for continued eating, drinking and litter use.
She's picking up on your stress so you want to try and be more calm, sincerely so because if you try and fake it, she'll know.

 

[Lari]

Furballsmom - thanks so much. I have a feliway diffuser going here. I think my cat is just too smart sometimes. We can get the bf's cat into a carrier just by having her follow a spoonful of food, but mine would know something is going on.

Anyway, I'm going to play some Dragon Quest VIII to relax, and remember that if she eats it's good and eventually this will be a new home for her.

 

[Furballsmom]

.
And, I think your bf is terrific!!

Try calming treats next time for her prior to a carrier event, they just might work and ease things for both of you . I have some Composure in the fridge for this same exact thing, my boy hates the carrier.

 

[Lari]

The bf is terrific - he found her hiding place! She managed to squeeze behing the stove into this hole/opening under a counter/shelf thing, which he removed the side from.

I'm definitely going to look into those treats. She'll need shots at the vet this summer, I believe, so I need to do something to make it easier next time.

----

I went to my old place to get stuff from the fridge and start dismantling the cat tree so I can bring it here, and it was so weird not to have her at the window above my parking space waiting for me to come in and play with her. This is definitely an adjustment.

 

[Furballsmom]

I think you're doing a fantastic job of dealing with it all--good for you!!

 

[Lari]

The cats ended up together accidentally a couple times today. they move too fast. But aside from some chasing (and Lelia's tail going all puffy) it could have gone a lot worst. I tried to feed them on either side of the pocket door. S of course dug right in (I told my bf we could put down food in the middle of a burning building and she'd stop to eat it) but I had to move Lelia's back several feet before she'd consider it. I've left the door cracked enough that they can see each other now.

Here's a few pictures.

The uncovered hiding place.

That's one way to learn the bf's scent.

Checking out her new bathtub

Quality time on my personal day.

Back to school to clean out my classroom tomorrow. Really glad I took the day off. I think I needed the extra day to get used to things and help both of us calm down.