Best way to handle grumpy cats?

[zoeysmom]

Belle and Delilah are littermates and best friends who have never been apart. They generally get along very well, groom each other, and play together.

However, all this changes when Delilah gets a wif of Francis. Francis is our porch kitty...long story, but I guess he technically lives next door...I'm hoping now that it's getting cooler, he'll be going inside more and spend less time on our porch.

Today I came home and Francis came running out of the stairway that goes to our apartment door. Someone had left the front door (I live in an apartment in the upper level of a house) to the house open and Francis let himslef in....it's not the first time. So, I'm not sure how long he was upstairs (on the outside of our apartment door), but Delilah was none to happy about it when I came home. This has happened before but she seemed to be getting a bit better. Usually Belle just seems confused, but tonight she is growling and hissing back at Delilah.

I'm just wondering what I should do when this happens? Should I just leave them alone? Should I put them in separate areas so they can calm down a bit in a "safe" place? Should I do something to try to get them to like each other again? She usually gets over it fairly quickly (although she seems particularly peeved this evening), but I find myself not knowing how to handle them when they are in their little "tiffs."

By the way, as for Francis, I love him, but he needs to stop letting himself in (I'd take him in, but clearly my cats are not very welcoming, and the people next door do let him in...he just seems to prefer it here, unfortunately). I'm working on that to avoid the situation altogether.

 

[mbjerkness]

I sometimes have to give Lucky a time out. She gets really mad when Gus goes outside. She lets him know, she is not pleased. I usually put her in my room for a few minutes. Then I let her out she is calmed down and has forgiven him.

 

[zoeysmom]

Originally Posted by mbjerkness

I sometimes have to give Lucky a time out. She gets really mad when Gus goes outside. She lets him know, she is not pleased. I usually put her in my room for a few minutes. Then I let her out she is calmed down and has forgiven him.

Wow, I wish Delilah was that quick to forget! It has improved tonight, but my girls still can't get within 4 feet of each other without hissing/growling. I think part of the reason it's lasting this long is because usually Belle just acts confused and upset, but this time she's hissing and growling back.

I left them alone when I went to work today and no one killed the other, so I'm not overly concerned. I just hate to see them so stressed out! AND, it was kind of hard to sleep last night with the hissing/growling going on....I think they were fighting over who was going to sleep on the bed with me.

 

[Anne]

Is Francis neutered? Having a whole Tom in the house, or even on the porch, can be extremely agitating for the cats. Even if he is fixed, some cats freak out when they have an intruder, and this remains for as long as they can smell him around (which is probably longer with a whole male).

You have to find a way to keep him out, and preferably away from your porch too. Let's face it, he's cute

and if you're anything like me, at the very least you're talking to him in a very nice tone, and possibly sneaking a pet occasionally? Sounds like you're a cat magnet and he's attracted.

Problem is, it's a risk when it comes to maintaining your own multi-cat household. This could easily deteriorate from hissing fits to peeing in the house and other behavioral issues. I'm not saying this will necessarily happen, but it's a risk.

I have lived with a very similar situation, where our own porch kitty, Romeo, made himself at home here and drove my two cats off the wall. First thing I did was fix him, which made his presence only slightly more tolerable. It was a delicate balance for about a decade, but we made it through. Sweet Romeo died last year (liver cancer) and I can see the cats are much more at ease since his passing.

 

[zoeysmom]

Thanks for the reply, Anne.

Francis is neutered. He's been visiting on and off for over a year now. The porch is downstairs, which my cats have no access to or view of. At first, they were very sensitive to his smell if I had pet him or something....but they seem to have gotten used to it (I can wash my hands once, instead of 3 times.) As I said, I'm really hoping that once the weather gets colder, he goes back inside the neighbour's house....I love him, but I want him to have a home where he can get the love and attention that he craves!

As for my girls, we have gotten to the point where they can peacefully co-exist in the same room as long as no one moves. Delilah will still hiss if Belle gets too close, but the hissing has significanly decreased. Belle is completely over whatever anger she had, and will occasionally try to get close to Delilah and groom her....which of course, is not welcomed yet. I'm hoping within a few more days that they are back to their normal selves. My boyfriend is away, so their routine is off as well (Delilah probably couldn't care less, but Belle is a daddy's girl).

 

[otto]

This behavior actually has a name, it is called Displaced Aggression.

Adding some Feliway plug in diffusers to your home may help.

If they do start seriously fighting, yes separate them for a few hours, and use the vanilla trick before letting them out and about, it may help defuse things. (dot some cooking vanilla, not perfume) on nose, chin and root of tail of each cat, so they both smell the same to one another)

However you may want to have a non confrontational talk with Francis's human. It's not fair to your cats that he is always around upsetting them. His people need to take more responsibility for him.

 

[zoeysmom]

Well, I thought I replied to this last night, but I guess my post didn't go through. It was kind of long, but I said I've tried the feliway (or similar) spray, but will try to track down some diffusers if things don't get better soon. Also, unfortunately, talking to Francis' owner isn't an easy thing to do, since I really don't know who it is, and they aren't really his owners (long story...I know who his owners are, and the people who took him in last Fall...they'd like to keep him in, I'm sure, but he can be sneaky). I did, however, write a note to my downstairs neighbour asking her to please make sure the door is shut tight when she leaves. It was shut when I left for work this morning...which is a rarity (it's not a typical doorknob, rather a latch...but not rocket science...she's just 13 and lazy).

In other news, we seem to have taken some more steps forward today. I came home and both cats seems a little more relaxed. I thought maybe we were back to normal, but Delilah did hiss at Belle when she was waiting for her food (I've been waiting for the day that Delilah gets tired of taking second fiddle at feeding time!) However, she's letting Belle get much more close without growling/hissing. I put Belle on the windowsill with Delilah and Delilah didn't mind until Belle leaned in for a nose touch. Poor Belle just wants her sister back...she's in a bit of a crazy mood today and wants to play (Belle was chasing Delilah at one point...I think Lala momentatily forgot she was a grump!

 

[Anne]

Glad to hear they're doing better! Sharing a cat bowl can be a source for added tensions and resulting aggression. It's probably better to feed them in separate dishes, and provide the food for both of them at the same time.