Attention seeking behaviour getting worse

[mishventurer]

My 13 week kitten, Reiko, has always tried to seek our attention, being our only cat and I've always played by the cat rule book on dealing with this sort of behaviour but it's been becoming worse.

Usually she would attack things she knows she's not allowed to (and look right at me to see if it's gotten my attention each time she does it) - scratching the bed, attacking books, bags, etc. So I've been advised to ignore her when she does these things to not give her the attention she's looking for while being naughty. I'll wait till she's done being naughty and sitting somewhere quietly before I go and give her attention. It has helped most of the time but of course being a kitten she would repeat the same mistakes a week later which is fine, I will repeat what I always do and hopefully she's learning from it.

Now she has begun to meow really loudly at the walls (where it echoes the most) for attention. And it's the mournful and loud sort. I know it's for attention cos I'm always either on my phone or working when she does this. I would wait for her to stop and be quiet before I get a wand toy and play with her.

But of course she repeats this several times during the day and I cannot afford to take the wand out 10 times when I'm working on my computer (or during a conference call with a client). Not to mention her constant meowing is disrupting calls and my focus. She gets good, long play times in the morning and evening usually so I don't know why now she's being so greedy for attention.

Sometimes I get the sense she wants to be picked up but when I do, she bites me. If I pet her she would have her ears all backwards and run away as though wanting me to chase her. If I ignore her, she begins her mournful meowing again.

She just got her second vaccination shot and the vet cleared her health last week. Her stools are fine and nothing out of the ordinary. No change in diet or portions whatsoever. No change in the household or routine. And she has many different toys out for her on rotation.

What can I do? I want her to be happy and not meow mournfully. I also would prefer if she does not do that because then I would have to work in a different area away from her which is bound to make her sadder.

P/S: Any advice welcome, but not the 'get a second kitten' - we honestly do not have the space for a second litter box or enough territory for two.

 

[mollyblue]

Has your vet said anything about spaying Reiko?

What breed is Reiko? 

Would having 4 play sessions instead of 2, even if they are shorter ones, but get her really active... work?

As long as the vet has given her a clean bill of health, some cats are just more social than others.  Theo doesn't want anything to do with me till I get on the computer than he is up on my shoulders demanding attention. 

I know you said Reiko has plenty of toys out to entertain herself throughout the day, but not sure what kinds of toys you have... and if there is the right variety.  We have 4 cats, and they each have a different favorite.  Tati loves toys she cannot get to... like the rings with balls inside.  We have this one tower of 4 rings with a ball on each level.  Took her a whole week and hours of work to get all four balls out of that one.  We also put some of her toys in a shoe box and cut a hole big enough for her paw to go in and retrieve the toy, but not without effort.  All four of them have learned to open the shoe box and it seems they only want to play with the toys when we pick them all up and put them away.  Bcups will entertain herself for hours with the twist tie from a bread sack.  Snowy has a laser light thingy that I can turn on and it runs for about 20 minutes shooting the laser in random patterns across the floor and up the walls... man, she loves that thing!  as soon as she spots the red dot, she is in crouch and pounce mode.  Lets see, they all like the tunnels, but not sure how much fun they would have in it without another kitty to chase through it, its worth a try though.  especially if the tunnel has a dangly toy somewhere in the middle or on one end.  Also is a crinkle sack.  If you don't have a crinkle sack, do you have a large paper bag.... they all  like playing in bags, and Theo equally enjoys shredding the paper.  They also have these little battery operated centipede looking things that you can turn on and the cats like hunting that until it eventually gets lost under the refrig or stove. They really like the little green and orange one.  We have bought some bigger ones, but they are two loud and the kittys don't really like the, but that little green and orange one drives em nuts.  Water bottle caps are fun to bat around on a linoleum or tile floor, and hair ties are great fun too.  Do you have a window seat, tower near a window or anyplace where she can look outside?  Put up a bird feeder or squirrel feeder and wa la, you have kitty tv.
 

Hope something helps...

 

[mishventurer]

mollyblue Thanks for your reply Molly! My vet thinks she's too young to be spayed at 3 months so he recommended her to only have it done between 5-6 months. After all she's the only pet and strictly indoors.

Her toys consist of a 3-way tunnel, 2 types of bell balls (one tethered to a basket she rolls around in to bat it), a mouse soft toy, a larger soft toy that moves when the tail is pulled, a plastic bottle puzzle with treats inside, and an always-upright ball toy with a fuzzy mouse. These accompany her scratching tree post (she's just learning to clear the 3rd and highest tier). She has other toys in the cupboard, some with diff textures and functions which I will swap out alternatively.

To be honest I feel she has a buffet variety, but I have a feeling she only wants to play with them when I'm giving her the attention or watching her. If I ever stopped watching her and watch my computer screen instead, she would meow mournfully at the wall.

I've tried doing 6 short sessions but it didn't work and I found it counter productive for my work because some things require my attention constantly, especially if I have conference calls or discussions.

I'm almost always in the room with her but instead of coming to me for attentions or pets, she chooses to meow loudly at the wall. When I try to pet her she either bites or runs away. I've no idea what to do and it's sort of stressing me out slowly.

 

[rogerniris]

I have exactly the same situation here. Our super playful 2.5-year-old male cat is not very much into playing toys alone and always wants my attention (now he's even not eating well without my presence.. He's behaving like a siamese but he's not!), despite that we have another female cat in the apartment, and always do bad things to force me to pay attention to him. I asked several questions on this here (http://www.thecatsite.com/t/331779/how-do-you-cats-react-to-punishment#post_4168007) (http://www.thecatsite.com/t/331055/should-i-get-a-playmate-for-my-super-playful-cat#post_4158430). Most people would suggest more play time and toys. But sometimes it's just not feasible with all the work in hand, and we cannot be sure it's the lack of play time that matters here. I'd say, try a little experiment to see whether it is the real cause first -  you can spend one or two days at home, playing as much as you can with him. But don't give him positive feedback when he's doing bad things. Do it before it and see if it can prevent it from happening. If yes, then he's just playful and you can solve it by, say, having more interactive games with him. Wand toys is a good way to burn their energy as everyone knows. Playing fetch games and walking him out in leash could also be a good idea. If not, then there is something else at play here and you should figure out what it is. Good luck with you kitty! Hope I can have luck with mine too 

 

 

[mollyblue]

Okay, as for meowing at the wall, cats can see things we cannot... sometimes they are just odd ducks and have conversations with shadows.  Are you able to easily distract your kitty from whatever has its attention while it is wailing at the wall?  Also, there could be things going on the other side of the wall  that are bothering Maxine.  Are there stray/ferals hanging out and marking territory around your living space?  I asked about the spaying because some cats can go in heat as early as 4 months... but you are right to follow your vets instructions.  Still, could be cats (or other animals outside) if she crying towards the exterior walls.  That she tries to bite you when you go to pet her while she is crying could be misdirected aggression... it really sounds like something is stressing Maxine out.  I am not sure its just attention seeking.  When I am on my computer and my cats are attention seeking, they are more likely to jump up on my shoulders and nibble my ear or pull my hair tie out, or else jump up on the keyboard.  They even try to steal my mouse... those are attention seeking behaviors.  What Maxine is doing sounds like something is wrong.

It sounds like you do have a nice variety of toys.  Its also true that toys are much more fun when a human is attached to the other end.  And I sympathize... work does have to come first. 

 

[mishventurer]

I have exactly the same situation here. Our super playful 2.5-year-old male cat is not very much into playing toys alone and always wants my attention (now he's even not eating well without my presence.. He's behaving like a siamese but he's not!), despite that we have another female cat in the apartment, and always do bad things to force me to pay attention to him. I asked several questions on this here (http://www.thecatsite.com/t/331779/how-do-you-cats-react-to-punishment#post_4168007) (http://www.thecatsite.com/t/331055/should-i-get-a-playmate-for-my-super-playful-cat#post_4158430). Most people would suggest more play time and toys. But sometimes it's just not feasible with all the work in hand, and we cannot be sure it's the lack of play time that matters here. I'd say, try a little experiment to see whether it is the real cause first -  you can spend one or two days at home, playing as much as you can with him. But don't give him positive feedback when he's doing bad things. Do it before it and see if it can prevent it from happening. If yes, then he's just playful and you can solve it by, say, having more interactive games with him. Wand toys is a good way to burn their energy as everyone knows. Playing fetch games and walking him out in leash could also be a good idea. If not, then there is something else at play here and you should figure out what it is. Good luck with you kitty! Hope I can have luck with mine too   

She definitely wants interactive play because that's the only time she doesn't meow sadly. However, she wants it ALL the time and whenever I'm working, she's meowing non stop. It's so crazy. Wand toys require about an hour of play before she burns out and go for a nap but an hour later she wants the same thing again. It's not easy to do this several times a day when work is calling me.

 

[mishventurer]

Okay, as for meowing at the wall, cats can see things we cannot... sometimes they are just odd ducks and have conversations with shadows.  Are you able to easily distract your kitty from whatever has its attention while it is wailing at the wall?  Also, there could be things going on the other side of the wall  that are bothering Maxine.  Are there stray/ferals hanging out and marking territory around your living space?  I asked about the spaying because some cats can go in heat as early as 4 months... but you are right to follow your vets instructions.  Still, could be cats (or other animals outside) if she crying towards the exterior walls.  That she tries to bite you when you go to pet her while she is crying could be misdirected aggression... it really sounds like something is stressing Maxine out.  I am not sure its just attention seeking.  When I am on my computer and my cats are attention seeking, they are more likely to jump up on my shoulders and nibble my ear or pull my hair tie out, or else jump up on the keyboard.  They even try to steal my mouse... those are attention seeking behaviors.  What Maxine is doing sounds like something is wrong.

It sounds like you do have a nice variety of toys.  Its also true that toys are much more fun when a human is attached to the other end.  And I sympathize... work does have to come first. 

I've checked the walls and I don't think there are any rats or birds stuck above or behind them. No ghosts either - at least I hope not. I probably should also mention that it's not the walls that faces the outside she meows at, but rather the one that is against the inside of the house - the outer hallway is behind those walls. Today she has started her meowing habit in our bathroom where the echo is more pronounced. She's very puzzling but I'm still quite sure it's an attention seeking behaviour.

 

[mollyblue]

Well, in case its not obvious, I also am stumped.  When you play wand toys, is she tuckered out and panting and ready to sleep?  I know our cats play pretty rough and rowdy...  my son used to use the little laser pointer toy and run it up the ways and my cat would be jumping halfway to the ceiling trying to get it, and with the wand toys he would have her doing somersaults through the air... I would tell him play nice, don't tease her so... but she really liked that kind of play.  Her eyes still light up when he comes to visit because no one wears her out like he does.  Good luck on figuring something out. 

 

[mishventurer]

Well, in case its not obvious, I also am stumped.  When you play wand toys, is she tuckered out and panting and ready to sleep?  I know our cats play pretty rough and rowdy...  my son used to use the little laser pointer toy and run it up the ways and my cat would be jumping halfway to the ceiling trying to get it, and with the wand toys he would have her doing somersaults through the air... I would tell him play nice, don't tease her so... but she really liked that kind of play.  Her eyes still light up when he comes to visit because no one wears her out like he does.  Good luck on figuring something out. 

Thanks for your replies anyways, I'm just as stumped. She would lie down with her tummy all heaving after a good play session but she would be ready to go again if I bring out a new toy. It takes over an hour to really tucker her out but when I'm busy and she's had her nap, the meowing ensues.