At Wits End

[mischasmuse]

Hello All,
I've been reading other threads too but had a question. I have a 7 year old fixed female cat in good health (though just wormed her for tapeworms) who is now driving me crazy. When I first got her I had 3 other cats in a home that I then sold 4 years ago. The other 3 cats went to other homes, then this year another cat came around and I gave to another home. I've mostly worked from home over the years so have been around a lot, and then this year when I had to move yet again, she came on the road with me in a car road trip covering 12K miles and 22 states over a course of 5 months. We are now in a new city, in a dark smaller rental. Finding a nicer rental that allow cats has also been a challenge.

I realize this has been quite a bit of change for her and that has to be unsettling. She also was always an indoor cat but I made the mistake of allowing her outside this year, supervised, for short periods. Now all she does is whine to go out, whine to be near me, act badly to get attention etc etc. I do play with her and give rewards, but her bad behavior is making me anxious and causing me to yell at her at times, which of course makes it worse. She started biting and scratching me when I try to move her off me. It's been mostly her and I for the longest time now but...

Should I give her up? Who would take her now? Thanks in advance for your thoughts..

 

[danteshuman]

I would stick to a schedule & stick to it like glue. Even setting an alarm clock by the door that you let her out of & not letting her out until the alarm goes off. That ways she learns to associate the alarm with going outside. Please keep in mind that cats do not understand day lights savings time when you choose the time. I would add feeding her her dinner or a treat when she comes in.

Lastly it took me years to train my boys to stay inside the backyard and not sneak into the front yard. For your cat's safety I feel like I must suggest harness training. Cats can be like little kids, but once they learn the new routine they calm down

 

[Espalia]

Feeding a cat dinner when it's time for them to come in at night like danteshuman said is an excellent way to ensure that they come back at the same time every day.

Please don't give up on her! It sounds like she's been through a lot. I think some cats do get crankier as they get older, especially if they've been going through a lot of stress. I see it with my 10 year old girl, who has also been with me through 3 moves, one across the country (she also had to live without me for 4 years while I was at college - which was a disaster because she was bonded to me and my parents don't care much for her over their other cat). I know it's hard to stick with it when things are bad, but sometimes little changes can make all the difference.

Establishing a schedule for outside time is an excellent idea. You could try adding training in addition to playing. If you start establishing "good" behaviors with treats then it will be easier to distinguish them from bad behaviors (because you can with hold treats).

I also highly suggest you adopt a strong, firm tone with her instead of yelling (I use the inflection of a mother saying "just what do you think you're doing"). I know it can be hard because cats can just do things that drive you absolutely nuts but once you establish a "you're doing something wrong" voice that is not actually scary (like loud yelling) you should be able to work on the bad behavior. When she does something wrong, make eye contact say "no" in a firm tone. If she doesn't stop, you can gently physically stop the behavior to give the cat an idea of what you want - but always say "no" first. You may have to repeat this several times if she goes right back to doing what she was doing. Once you have stopped the behavior, ignore her completely until she is doing something else - do not give any positive attention as a result of the behavior. It may take several repeats but eventually she should stop when you say "no". Once she starts responding to your no command, give her a treat. Repeat this enough times until you can start catching her before she does the bad action. Usually you can see a cat thinking about it because they know they're not supposed to. When you see her thinking about doing something bad say her name followed by a warning "no..." and if she stops and walks away (usually cats will do this with a totally innocent 'I wasn't doing anything' face) give a treat. (BTW, whenever I say 'treat' this can mean pets and praise instead - it depends on the cat. I rarely use treats with my cats because they respond more to praise).

As for the biting and scratching, I don't quite know what you mean by "move her off you". Do you mean when she is sitting in your lap and you try to move her so that you can stand up? I have never experienced this behavior before... Do you try to physically pick her up and move her or does she bite and scratch as you get up?