Are there any tips to get a kitten used to holding?

christinemoon · Mar 25, 2022

I recently took in a rescue kitten (5 weeks at arrival, 6 weeks now). She cries or tries to wiggle away whenever she's held.

She's playful, pettable, and insists on sleeping on you whenever you're laying down. I've tried holding her when feeding her so she associates it as positive. I try picking her up for a quick pet and putting her right back down.

Ideally I'd like her to be holdable before she is up for adoption, probably another 3-4 weeks away. I've owned cats that were perfect lap cats but hated holding, but anything I can do to help her get adopted would be nice. Any advice?

ArtNJ · Mar 25, 2022

Unfortunately, there isn't any way to rush it. The best thing to do is pretend you are courting a shy boy or girl -- which means that getting handsy with them, putting them on the lap, or picking them up, before they are ready for it is bad. Imagine how that would freak out the shy boy or girl -- assuming they didn't call the cops lol! In other words, you have to let them be the boss of the relationship and go at their pace. Often times the first time a kitten will allow petting is when sleepy. Sometimes there may be a place as well, usually somewhere that you are quite and chill, like the bed or couch. Two separate folks posted here that the first place the shy cat allowed petting was besides their bathtub -- because they took long baths and were quite and chill there.

christinemoon · Mar 25, 2022

ArtNJ said:
Unfortunately, there isn't any way to rush it. The best thing to do is pretend you are courting a shy boy or girl -- which means that getting handsy with them, putting them on the lap, or picking them up, before they are ready for it is bad. Imagine how that would freak out the shy boy or girl -- assuming they didn't call the cops lol! In other words, you have to let them be the boss of the relationship and go at their pace. Often times the first time a kitten will allow petting is when sleepy. Sometimes there may be a place as well, usually somewhere that you are quite and chill, like the bed or couch. Two separate folks posted here that the first place the shy cat allowed petting was besides their bathtub -- because they took long baths and were quite and chill there.

That makes sense, but she loves petting. Maybe she's just afraid of feeling trapped in arms (I try to keep it loose, just blocking her from falling instead of holding), but I'll back off and let her call the shots.

vince · Mar 25, 2022

Sometimes, they just won't become cuddly cats. I have one that's getting much better, but it's taken three years. I started by just picking up one end of her, then putting her down. I've been working with her by touching her and petting her while she's occupied with eating and that's helped a lot.

Food is a motivator for most cats, but it didn't work with her. I finally got her to have a daily session while I'm on the pot in the morning. She comes and I wipe the crusties from her eyes. Next, I pet her a little in my lap, then let her get up on the vanity and she grooms my hair a bit. That's it for most days after three years. Not much help, I know, but you could see if she allows any of what I do. It's a start.

Willowwombat · Mar 25, 2022

I think some cats just never become lap cats. My girl Rachel never was a lap cat in all her 18 years. She was affectionate and loved to spend her time sitting right beside me, but she never did sit in my lap, not once. And my new adopted boy, who is nine, will not sit in a lap either. He just wants to hang out with us all the time, but not be held.

My Willow, on the other hand, is a total lap cat.

ArtNJ · Mar 26, 2022

One trick I forgot to mention is to put a blanket on your lap. Still better to wait for the cat to be ready, but a blanket seems to help a lot of cats.

I don't know any similar trick for being picked up. I have an affectionate lap seeking cat that doesn't like to be picked up now. Got him as a kitten, and I think we were patient with him before trying, but he just never liked it.

vince · Mar 26, 2022

Oh yeah.

Blankets over skin is mandatory for one of mine. He absolutely will not sit on my lap if I'm wearing shorts. Gotta be blue jeans or a blankie!

susanm9006 · Mar 26, 2022

When she is awake and playful, sit or lay on the floor along side of her. You are much less scary when you are closer to her height and kittens soon decide that we are a great mountain to climb and a warm and comfy place to rest. Have a few toys or treats to entice her to come near. Of course, engaging the kitten in a game of laser or want play is always a good way to get them to relax. Another excellent way to get a kitten used to humans is to gently scoop them up when they are asleep or nearly there and then gently stroke then nose from tip to forehead until they totally conk out and then just let them sleep on you for a while.