Any suggestions for when our daughter brings her cat to our place? Last time didn't go so well....

[danteshuman]

I think a pet sitter would be best. The next best thing would be to keep both cats in different rooms with the doors closed. That way if one cat escapes they still can’t get in a fight with each other (cats are great at escaping.)

I will add that my boy travels to my mom’s house every weekend BUT he grew up there, knows & likes his litter mates, he gets along with the other two cats. We make a point that they see each other every week (or 2 weeks max) so they don’t forget each other. Plus we do a LOT to accommodate him: we feed the same brand of dry food at both places. I bring his cat bed with him and blanket. I take a couple of toys with him. When he stayed at my mom’s house I brought one of his litter boxes (with the scooped litter from home) so he would have more of his territory. I also left him a worn t shirt in a ziplock bag in case he missed me. He still was a little stressed for a couple of days but his cat family helped him & again it is his second home. My boy is white & grey, his brother black & his sister is in the tree. Even after Jackie moved out last Jan, he still is part of the kitty family.

 

[danteshuman]

Maybe give her the gift of paying for a pet sitter that texts you with pictures and updates a few times a day?

 

[ArtNJ]

Had we taken more precautions at the outset, I often wonder if the relationship between the two would have been better.

Yeah, that is exactly what I often tell people on introduction related issues -- I tell them that I'm not clear that taking longer on a fulsome introduction process is going to actually make any difference in your specific situation, but you don't want the cats to still be causing each other stress in a year, which happens, and wonder if you could have done something different.

 

[mekkababble]

Daughter staying with my mother for a week with grand kitty in tow here. My mother has two cats (which she got at my behest then refused to let me take them with me when I moved lol). Her two cats are like dogs- they can't wait to socialize with new animals. My cat- she likes being the only child.

I think your first step is to stress to your daughter that it's only a week. As others have pointed out- cats aren't going to acclimate to each other in a week under the best of circumstances. Even if they did, it would be time to disrupt everything again. As much as she wants them to mingle, she won't change the nature of cats and to forcing them to be around each other is plain unfair to the animals.

To prevent the heating issue, is there a different room her cat could stay in where you can keep the door shut? And then possibly let that cat out when your cat is sleeping/lounging somewhere (then shut that door to prevent any attacks)?

I've used the following solution in my house that may work: my cat stays with me in my bedroom because she's a fur ball with anxiety when I'm not around. I sit with her while doing work and play with her in between. My mother's cats have full run of the house. Every night when they go into their playroom, my cat gets to wander around some until her cats are ready to come out. In between then, I'll open the door to get some air. I've had success with feliway calming the cats down, but it's a tool- not a magic bullet.

It takes a bit of juggling, but so far we have zero injuries, minimal hisses, three calm cats, and only one escape incident. I can't wait for my brother, his wife, and the toddler to come so we can have them in the mix next

These kinds of things always erupt around the holidays. Keep your foot down on the cats remaining separate. I promise your daughter will still love you.