Any Funny Stories?

[nurseangel]

I laughed a little about this.

It seems like everything in my house, from the dishwasher, to the alarm system (yes, we forget sometimes and have to run to punch in the code) beeps or buzzes or makes some kind of racket.

I have a French door refrigerator which I love, except it carries on so when you leave a door open too long. I was busy doing something when it started beeping. I am so used to talking to Daisy that I turned to it and said, "Just a minute, baby." Then I realized I was talking to the refrigerator and not a cat...

 

[MoochNNoodles]

Just as long as it doesn't answer back.

 

[Mia6]

I was extremely exhausted a few weeks ago. A few days of barely any sleep, high pain levels. I was going to wash a load of clothes but couldn't locate the Tide....looked all over for it. The bottle was new so I knew it had to be around somewhere. Finally found it...in the fridge!! The same morning I found the peanut butter in the freezer. Groan....

 

[bbdoll22]

When I was pregnant with my first I was working in an office setting. Getting ready for work one morning I could not find my comfortable yet stylish shoes. I looked everywhere even had my husband helping. I gave up and grudgingly put on a different pair of shoes. Right before leaving I get my refillable water bottle,fill it, and open the freezer to get ice and lo and behold there are my shoes in the freezer!

 

[Mia6]

When I was pregnant with my first I was working in an office setting. Getting ready for work one morning I could not find my comfortable yet stylish shoes. I looked everywhere even had my husband helping. I gave up and grudgingly put on a different pair of shoes. Right before leaving I get my refillable water bottle,fill it, and open the freezer to get ice and lo and behold there are my shoes in the freezer!

Glad to see I'm not the only one!

 

[Jem]

Is a story still funny if it's about a complete stranger? Or is that just mean?

I was in line at a coffee shop, when out of the corner of my eye I saw movement outside and when I looked over, a saw a woman splat right up against the widow, arms out, face smushed, her whole body, like in a road runner/coyote cartoon where he gets smashed into a mountain. Then slid down a bit (squeaking glass sound and all) before catching her bearings to stand up. She must have tripped on the curb or something, it was her arms flailing, that caught my peripheral vision. She was OK, and laughed with her friends. But it was one of those moments where everyone tried so hard not to laugh when she came in, but unfortunately most people failed. Some were nice enough to ask if she was OK. She was a trooper for still coming in to get her coffee.

 

[maggiedemi]

She must have tripped on the curb or something, it was her arms flailing, that caught my peripheral vision.

Maybe she was on her cell phone.

 

[maggiedemi]

My dad did a funny pratfall. I know I shouldn't laugh at older people falling, but the way he fell was so insane. He fell down the steps, then turned and fell out the front door.

 

[nurseangel]

My dad did a funny pratfall. I know I shouldn't laugh at older people falling, but the way he fell was so insane. He fell down the steps, then turned and fell out the front door.

As long as he is okay, it's all good.

Since we are telling stories on others, here's one on my mom. You know how convenience stores sometimes have those trays that read: "If you have a penny, leave a penny, if you need a penny take a penny" on the counter?

My mom is going to kill me, but this is what she did. She went into a store near her house, bought something and got back some change. "I'll give you this," she said to the cashier, dropping her pennies into a cup on the counter. The cashier looked at her in shock. It turns out, my mom dropped the pennies in the woman's coffee! My mom was too embarrassed to say anything at the time. She made a quick exit. Later, she went back and explained what happened. She offered to buy the cashier a cup of coffee. (The woman refused, taking the incident in good humor.)

 

[1 bruce 1]

The time I tried vaulting over a stock gate like I always used to and landed in a pile of mud and other things (just take a wild guess what those other things were) was probably the funniest and most sobering experience of my life.

 

[Jem]

Here is another funny but a little gross story for everyone.

My mom, sister, best friend and I went out for Chinese food. My mother is quite funny and was talking, I honestly don't even remember about what. My best friend had just taken a big bite of fried rice when my mom said something funny and my friend, caught off guard, burst out laughing and spit all of the rice in her mouth all over my poor mother who was sitting across from her. Rice being a little sticky, stuck to my mom's face and in her hair, not to mention all over her clothes and in her plate of food. We all had a good laugh, and obviously caught the attention of those sitting around us. Thankfully, nobody seemed annoyed, some were snickering. A few moments later, I was about to take a bite of something, but I missed my mouth and stabbed my lip with my fork. I unfortunately, then dropped my fork, and yet again, some food went flying at my mother. We laughed all over again. And if you think that's the end of the flying food...think again.
At one point, I went to jab my chicken ball with my fork, but unfortunately, it decided it did not want to get eaten. Instead of sticking it with my fork I only hit the edge of it and it went flying off my plate, rolled off the table and under the table of the people sitting next to us. We all pretended that nothing happened, as we tried to hold in our laughter.
I swear you CAN take us out, we were just having an off day.

 

[maggiedemi]

Instead of sticking it with my fork I only hit the edge of it and it went flying off my plate, rolled off the table and under the table of the people sitting next to us.

That happened to me when I tried to eat lobster at a fancy restaurant. When I tried to crack it open, it flew across the room.

 

[debbila]

When I was younger, some friends and I decided to try our hand at levitation. One of our gang laid on the floor and we said, " At the count of three you will rise up, up off the floor! ". We called out slowly and mysteriously, " One... two... " At that moment I got a brilliant, jokester idea. In my best Lawrence Welk imitation I said, " And a one, and a two! " Everybody cracked up laughing and couldn't go on. Forty-some years later we still remember and laugh about it.

 

[FflurCadwgawn]

I used to work in the gardens department at a VERY famous resort. We had over 150 public gardens, hanging baskets, and flower boxes to tend to.

The garden by the front gate is called Discovery. Well, I discovered that there was poison ivy in that garden. Of course, I warned the crew. One of the guys (I was one of two females on a crew of 20+) said, "Can you show me where it is? I'm kind of really, really allergic."

I showed him.

He took one look at it and said, "That's not poison ivy. It's box elder. Poison ivy looks like that!" And he pointed to the English ivy crawling up the fence. "You're wrong! I'm a forester and been in the woods and seen poison ivy a thousand times and THIS IS NOT POISON IVY!" He then proceeded to pluck a leaf, rub it on his arm, and then while looking right at me said, "I would not be doing this if I were not so convinced this was BOX ELDER and NOT POISON IVY", and rubbed it all over his face.

Meanwhile the rest of us are watching him in horror.

He then started pawing it out with his bare hands.

At that point, our director came up, took one look at everything, and asked, "Curtis, why are you pulling out the poison ivy with your bare hands?"

At this point he had a bushel of the stuff in his arms. He completely froze and looked from the poison ivy to me and back about fifty times.

Then, he uttered a VERY pregnant "........uhhhhhhhhh........."

At which point he figured he was already going to be contaminated anyway, so he finished pulling out the poison ivy, then went back to the shop and washed with a poison ivy soap the director had.

Guess who had a severe full body poison ivy rash for a month after that? He never lived that down for the rest of the year. I am willing to bet they are still telling that story.

 

[MonaLyssa33]

My brother has this weird thing about smell and I swear he imagines smells that aren't even there, so when we were still living with my parents he would spray air freshener all the time. Anything that smelled good, he considered air freshener. For a week one time, everybody kept slipping and falling in the bathroom and the kitchen for no explainable reason, until I realized my brother had been using furniture polish as an air freshener and making the floors slippery.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

DD was 2ish when I got some spray on leather cleaner/conditioner type stuff for our pub-height dining chairs. The first time I cleaned them she climbed up and slid right back off. Oops...

 

[mani]

Since we're on the cleaning thing...
I had my hair 'permed' back in the 80s when you did that kind of thing. I'd been given strict instructions to use a specific spray-on conditioner after the first wash, with threats of dreadful things happening if I didn't.
I picked up the spray, liberally used it and left for the required 7 minutes then washed it out. My hair felt ghastly. I'd used the anti-mould shower cleaner.

 

[Mia6]

Since we're on the cleaning thing...
I had my hair 'permed' back in the 80s when you did that kind of thing. I'd been given strict instructions to use a specific spray-on conditioner after the first wash, with threats of dreadful things happening if I didn't.
I picked up the spray, liberally used it and left for the required 7 minutes then washed it out. My hair felt ghastly. I'd used the anti-mould shower cleaner.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

Oh noes.... I have to ask...did dreadful things happen to your perm?

I sported a couple of those as a kid. The first time my hair was about shoulder length and I didn't like it till it was mostly worn out and just loose curls. My grandpa took this great picture of me pouting about it. (Gram did most of our perms. ) Then my mom thought it would be a good idea if we had matching hair cuts when I was in the 3rd grade. This one was done at an actual salon. The best way to describe it is a pixie cut; but the top was longer and permed. After that I grew my hair out to butt length. It's been close to 30 years and I still don't like my hair above my shoulders. And my mother has never fully lived it down. Also if you use the right product my hair has loose curls all on it's own.

 

[mani]

Oh noes.... I have to ask...did dreadful things happen to your perm?

Yes, it wasn't the best. The hairstylist had me wrapping it up in conditioning treatment daily for a long time.