An Unusual Nocturnal Problem

[John4890]

I adopted a cat a few days ago from a shelter and I have an unusual problem. She is the most affectionate cat I've ever had -- so the problem is that at night she will wake up at ungodly hours and start bumping her head with me and my wife who is more upset really. If we close the door to the bedroom she will meow occasionally and also scratch a little.

I do not like the solutions my SO has proposed such as spraying her with water or spanking her. I absolutely will not let her hit the cat as I believe you shouldn't hit any animal. I'm also not interested in spraying her with water as that's still a negative form of behavior adjustment.

I feel kind of bad because all she's trying to do is show love and be with us (or maybe some cat behavior expert would disagree), but the point is I need a solution that will not be upsetting for the cat.

 

[duckpond]

My cats do this as well. They get lonely at night i think, so they hop up in bed and want a snuggle. sometimes only 5 minutes or so, sometimes they snuggle in for the rest of the night. my husband ignores them, he sleeps right through..lol so they dont do it with him much. I pet them when they wake me up, so i get many late night visits

i agree that hitting is definitely not the thing to do, ever for an reason. and i dont think any kind of punishment is appropriate, or works on a cat. Ignore her if you can, she will do less of it if she does not get a response. And she may slow it down once she settles in, right now she may just be attention starved, and needing extra love.

Another thing, i think only cats may need more human interaction. if you had another cat she might not need as much attention from you guys. My cats often snuggle up together at night.?

 

[neely]

Welcome to TCS, glad to have you aboard! Thank you for adopting from a shelter and giving an affectionate cat a new home. Definitely do not spray the kitty with water. In fact, here's an excellent Article on the subject:
5 Reasons To Never Spray Water On Your Cat
And here's another Article about nighttime behavior: How To Stop My Cat From Waking Me Up At Night?

Best of luck with your new cat. Please keep us posted how she is progressing.

 

[EmmiTemmi]

Thank you for advocating against the more physical forms of punishment!

But for my boys, shutting them out of the bedroom has been the best way to get my full sleep. When I only had one cat, and he wasn't allowed in my bedroom he would whine and cry at night, but that only lasted a few nights. I was consistent in refusing to acknowledge his cries at night. It broke my heart the first nights, but he LEARNED. Consistency is KEY with cats. If you give in once, they take the reigns and run with them. Shut the cat out, ignore it, no matter how much scratching/crying there is. She will learn that day-time is play-time, and night-time is sleep-time. It also wouldn't hurt to give her a good hard play session right before bed to wear her out.

If you want to keep letting her have access to your room, I don't have any advice, but I'm sure other members of the community will chip in with fantastic pointers!

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to The Cat Site. And congrats on the adoption of your "love bug".

Please keep in mind, you've only had her a few days, so she's dealing with getting to know you and your wife, and living in a new home with new sounds, smells, etc.

I've read so many threads from new cat "parents" asking how to get their new cat to come out of hiding, or from under the bed. Your "problem" is getting her "off" the bed! I do sympathize with you being woken at night. Sleep deprivation is not a joke.

What does she do after she wakes you? Does she keep pestering you? Or go to sleep with you?

neely posted links to the same articles I was thinking about. Please do not spray water at her. Or spank her. She won't understand why you're doing it.

Here are a couple more TCS articles that may be helpful:
Cats And Discipline Don't Mix
How To Set Healthy Boundaries For Your Cat
How To Help A New Cat Adjust To Your Home

And one that covers everything for a new or First-time Cat Owner's Guide

 

[humanracer]

My advice,
When you go to bed close the door and don't let the cat in. They will learn it is your sleep time. They might scrat and meow for a few weeks but will stop when they realise they won't get in. Mine has his own cat bed in a separate room and will go there and sleep.

 

[susanm9006]

If you put her out of the bedroom and shut the door every time she pesters you, she will learn she can only stay in bed with you if she is quiet.

 

[Draco]

I find ignoring them in the middle of the night is the best. It'll be hard for a while until the cat gets the idea "ok, they sleep, I won't get anything from them then"

Try playing with the kitty before bedtime, wear her out. feeding right before bedtime also helps curb the meowing too

 

[vyger]

Sometimes in order to understand a cat you have to think of things in their perspective. So from her point of view----

It a big new space that she doesn't know. In time she will get to know it but for now it's still mostly unknown. Remember, you have eyes that can see in the dark, ears that pick up the smallest noise and at frequencies that are far beyond our ability. A nose that can pick up the slightest scent. And your in a space that is new to you and you are totally alone. What are you going to do? Find something that is familiar so you can have some comfort. Isn't that what you would do? Well, your the living thing that brings her comfort at the moment. She wants you to know that. It's not bad behavior so would it really deserve punishment? Give her a bed on a dresser or something like it so she can overlook things and not feel lonely when she hears something in the middle of the night that she doesn't know yet. Just keep putting her back in her bed until she recognizes it as her place of safety. I think people who have had children understand this idea a lot better. If your child comes to you in the middle of the night because of some problem you don't spray it in the face with water. You put them back to bed and let them know everything is OK. Try doing the same for your cat.