am i doing this right?

[kwren]

we have been trying to socialize a feral kitten we brought into our home a little over 4 weeks ago.

so far i think we have made a lot of progress. it's slow, but steady. when we first brought him in he freaked out. was climbing the walls for a day. settled down and was extremely skittish. he hid in a corner under a char for a day or two, his food and water bowl were under it with him, and he only came out to use the litter box (which he did with no problems at all) over the course of the next week he got more comfortable, would come out from his cave to sit in the middle of the floor, would play with da-bird and some toys and the cat tunnel. he adores the older cats and would actually come near us if they were in with him. we left him in his own little room with a glass door for 2 weeks, basically from the day we got him tested for diseases up till a few days after we got him neutered, we didn't think we would be able to catch him again if we didn't leave him contained. i let the big cats and his sister go in to say hello (his sister is very well socialized)

now he has the run of the house. we still can't get closer than a foot or two from him without him running away, but that's a big step up from him fleeing in terror the second he saw us. he sniffs my hand if i hold it out for him. he plays beautifully with the other cats, he especially loves our tim roth and they sleep in the cat tree together.

we have been giving him treats. spent the first two weeks when he was in our mudroom reading out loud to him and playing with da-bird. he will play with us, and now if i throw a toy for him he runs after it instead of away from it LOL he prefers to come out when it is quiet and the kids are in bed, but he will come out in the morning before school too. he is obviously still a little freaked out, but he really wanted to escape from confinement, he was lonely.

really, i was just wondering if there was something else we should be doing that could help him feel more comfortable with the humans here? we have a feliway diffuser, he has lots of toys, safe spaces to hide, things to climb and things to scratch on. he likes his pom-pom on a string and kitty springs best. we try to be quiet and move carefully around him...

 

[strange_wings]

I would have kept him in a smaller area a couple more weeks - until I knew I could catch him when out in the house if needed. But what's done is done.

You're on track, the rest is going to just take time. How old was he, again, when you brought him home?

Things that help: Get on down his level. Skittish cats don't like being stood over. If you can get him to climb up on things and meet you higher up, that's even better. Being up on a high surface gives many cats a confidence boost.
No eye contact. Some cats are fine with it, but in nature eye contact is threatening.
Try to make what you're going to do clear to him - I'll wiggle my fingers when reaching for my cats to pet them. They know this visual signal means that I'm going to pet them - when they're across the room and I kneel down and wiggle my fingers it still means "pets" and they'll come over for it.

Let your other cats teach him.

They're his best teachers right now.

Keep up with the treats. Most cats are highly food motivated.

Get a long thick ribbon or cord. Use it to gradually bring him closer to you with playing with the string. A little more each day - don't grab for him. Eventually see if you can get him to run across your lap chasing it.

 

[StefanZ]

I agree completely with Strange Wings.

Proceed to work on YOU coming nearer. Having one or several friendly cat (or sometimes a dog) residents helping is a big help - but there is also one small, but not nonexistend danger with it:

The ferale gets easily tame, yes. Ie he manages to live in the house, and be pal with the resident cats. But is still skittish to the humans, his fosterers. Never bonds. Ie, becomes essentially a semiferale living indoors. (an ex ferale remain usually skittish to strangers, but that is another story).
This is the reason why some experienced fosterers prefer to foster them alone, without animal assistency. Although for an unexperienced fosterer this "animal assisted theraphy" is of course a big plus factor, making it easier.

So, once the first difficulties are over, the fosterer must continue on working with the cat, making him a friend and bonded to the human fosterer.

Which you ARE doing, and you are doing GREAT, but I wanted to mention this just in case.

Tx a lot, remember time is your friend, and good luck!

 

[kwren]

thank you thank you for the responses

he was around 14-16 weeks when we brought him inside. probably closer to 16. we were feeding them outside for about 6 weeks prior to bringing them in, so he was used to us but he was always the one we couldn't quite pet - unlike his sister who came from the same litter and had the same amount of human contact, who loves to be petted by everyone and is a total lapcat. it is so weird.

we're trying really hard to get him to bond with us. he really loves having you throw crumpled papers for him to chase now that he knows we're not throwing them at him, and he really responds well to wand type toys. i have been trying to get him used to having the wands touching him, and he doesn't jump away from them the way he used to. he actually jumped up on my feet (under a blanket, but still! they're my feet!) last night when he was horsing around with his sister, and he didn't hop right off even though he was on the couch with me and knew it! he NEVER would have done that 2 weeks ago!

he'll come out for wet food too, he comes right to the dish even if i am still there crouched down next to it. so he will get sort-of close. i think i could catch him again if i absolutely had to, he'll also go back into the mudroom where his litterbox and blanket were fairly happily.

i do try to keep low for him, and thankfully he is a climber and likes to be on the top of the cat tree. he likes the little closed apartment in it too.

just wanted to make sure i was on the right track here, it seems like what we have been doing is working but any advise/help is always welcome!

 

[strange_wings]

Rough estimate, by his age, if you keep on track he should be fairly tamed down 4 months post you bringing him in.

 

[Primula]

Originally Posted by kwren

we're trying really hard to get him to bond with us.

What is it that you actually want to achieve here? I think you are doing a fantastic job and the kitten seems very happy. Is it that you want to pick him up and have him sit in your lap - that sort of thing? Does it really matter? Billy, one of our outdoor cats, was feral, but he loves us to pieces. He can be stroked (he growls with pleasure), but he will never sit on my lap since he has no concept of this at all. I would never pick him up either because I sense he would hate that. So we just let him be.

 

[kwren]

it doesn't matter if he is never a lapcat or we never pick him up, our real goal is to get him to the point where he can be comfortable in our house, and not be fearful. it would also be great to be able to touch him, in case we need to check his teeth or get him to the vet... that kind of thing. getting him in for the neuter was no fun at all!

everything else, eh it's no big deal. we have one cat who has been around people since he was born and he still hates everyone and hangs out in my bedroom pretty much 24/7 and runs from everyone but me, and we have had him for 9 years. so we are more than willing to welcome another non-friendly cat, i just want him to be comfortable, and anti-social because he wants to be not because he is scared.