Stay strong, I grew up with an alcoholic parent and so has my husband, 10 days isn't enough to make a permanent change, you think about you and you child right now.
take care of yourself
OMG! You are so young! I am not saying this bad, just I feel like I am really young, and I've got 7 years on you. My mom was 26 when she did what you are doing.Originally Posted by sadieandziggy
I'm only 21 and have minimal life experience. And everything seems to have hit me at once. (several illnesses in the family too) I'm really struggling to keep face.
I can't imagine anyone judging you in this situation. It happens way to often, and most of the time, the women don't get out. In those cases the children will suffer. You have to understand that you have to get your son away from him. Your son will see what he is doing to you, and come to resent your SO, or become like him. You really don't want either to happen. I still hate my father. It is a harsh word, but I never got over what he did to us. He never came back to rectify things. We were better off without him. Don't blame yourself for anything that he does or says to you. He may say mean things to make himself feel better and bigger. That is the way it works. Even outside of your situation, people say mean things and make other peope feel bad, only to make themselves feel better. Please please, I will talk to you whenever you need. I hate that you feel like you don't have close friends, but honestly, you have lots of people that care about you and want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy. It will be a long road, but it can happen.Originally Posted by sadieandziggy
Thanks so much guys, you are all great. I'll keep you updated on this thread. Now that I've talked about it, it's easier to next time. I always thought I would be judged.
The gospel truth. Although I attribute that to the fact that I do not belive in addiction. I belive that people make choices to be alcoholics, or addicts in general. I dont see how anyone can call making a conscience decision to pick up the bottle, or put the needle in your arm, a sickness, but that is because I am crazy in the head too...Originally Posted by GoldenKitty45
Unless a person admits to being an alcoholic and wanting to change, they never will.
10 days is nothing. You can go 10 days without food, too. If you weren't on the phone with him 24/7, you still don't know what he was really doing. Here's my point; you probably never want to be in a relationship with him again, and it should be at least a year (sober) before he gets an active role in your son's life.Originally Posted by sadieandziggy
So, I said I'd update you so hre goes:
My ex came round tonight to see our son. He hasn't had a drink for 10days which is quite an achievment for him. I know he hasn't had a drink because I've spoken to him everyday either on the phone or in person, and I know him so well that I can tell if he's even had ONE beer just by hearing his voice!!
So he keeps going on about how he knows he changing - and the problem is that I can see he is. I keep telling him that I don't want him to move back in or for us to start seeing each other again because I don't want him to get too 'comfy' and slip back into old ways. But I'm finding it really hard. I know that I will be finacially better off because I'm a single parent now so the government will help pay my childcare fees, and I should be entiltled to housing benefit (support with rent payment) even though I work nearly full-time and am very well paid. (I am not a scrounger, just claim what I am entitled to)
I hate 'waiting' for the next disappointment, or the next big event.
I am so depressed.
I hate to say it but this is so true.Originally Posted by Zissou'sMom
10 days is nothing.
He is telling you what you want to hear, he thinks that you are weak and will take him back if he makes some halfhearted gesture towards changing. He is wrong.