Aggression in 2 yo siblings, sudden, please help!

[ashley berner]

I have two cats, one male and one female. They are both fixed, 2 years old, and siblings. The male has always played a little rough, but they've always played and were fine eventually. Suddenly and without warning, they were fighting four days ago in the morning. Not bloodshed or anything, but she was hissing and growling at him and he was stalking her. I thought that would be the end of it. But it continued throughout the day. 

That evening they slept and were in the same room and acting fine. But again the next day they had the same confrontations. It seemed to get better by early evening. They cuddled with me together and even played with me at the same time. No hissing, no growling. She went to bed with me, and I suppose she felt cornered in my bedroom, because as soon as he entered, she flipped out and hid underneath my bed. And today, it's been the same. She hisses and growls at him for existing and then he stalks her, and sometimes attempts to swat at her. It all sounds a lot worse than it is. They've never really come to blows, fur hasn't flown, and blood hasn't been shed. I can be thankful for that. 

I did call my vet for advice. He suggested that I try usng Feliway wipes. So I did that today, not sure how quickly they are supposed to work, but so far there hasn't been any change.  Both cats are eating, acting normal towards me and others in the home. There hasn't been any changes that would set them off to my knowledge, I've thought long and hard about what it could be. Sometimes they do see other cats outside the window, and it gets them riled up, but they usually just brush it off. I have no idea what is going on.

I am currently locked in my bedroom with my girl, so that she can get some peace tonight. Thinking of keeping them separate, but I don't know how that's going to go over. I havent slept in days. I am so anxious over this. These are my babies. They are acting so out of the ordinary, and I don't know what to do. 

I am so exhausted and defeated by this. Any advice or friendly encouragement is appreciated.

 

[mani]

Hi Ashley, and welcome to TCS!

It's a difficult situation and I can really understand how you must feel. 

I'm thinking with your mention of cats outside that you've considered redirected aggression, and that still could be the issue - there is obviously just not an obvious stimulant. 

Another thing is when the cat 'smells' different.  It's quite common, for example, for cats to behave in this way when one has been to the vet.  Things settle down but for a while it's like a whole new cat has been brought home.  Is there anything that may have caused that?

Feliway works pretty instantly when my two get unduly 'fighty' (they always have little spats but sometimes they escalate).

The only other thing is whether there is an issue with your boy, health-wise.  If it keeps going it may be worth taking him in for a checkup.

I do hope it resolves soon.. You're obviously concerned and your girl is probably really over it.

 

[ashley berner]

Thank you for your response. I do appreciate it. Neither one has been to the vet recently, so the smell shouldn't be a problem.

How do you feel about reintroducing cats? I hadn't heard of it until this happened. I'm wondering at what point is that necessary... and if just seperating them during the night for now would be a good idea. I never imagined this would happen and it seems so out of nowhere. Because under supervision they can get along... just occasionally a spat will happen and I'll need to separate.

I've only used the Feliway once. No results so far. Will keep trying.

They are my babies. I hate seeing them be so aggressive towards each other. They never actually have fought... just a lot of hissing and growling from the female. The male just stalks her. Sometimes he's not doing anything, and she will hiss and growl which gets him going,,, I just hope I'm doing the right things for them. I'm really out of my element here, this being the first time I've had more than one cat in the household. It was going great until now...

 

[shadowsrescue]

Is there a chance that a stray cat has been roaming around your home and the male cat has seen this cat?  Next, he will take out his aggression he feels for the cat on his sister.  It is called redirected aggression.  Cats are so territorial and even though he may be strictly an indoor cat, he still thinks of the property outside as his.  You might want to check and see if he has found something outside that has peaked his interest.

I would suggest a few of the Feliway diffusers.  They emit the phermones continuously. 

You also could try some calming treats or liquid.  I really like composure liquid max.  You can mix it into their wet food.  You can give it to the aggressive cat to help calm him down and also to the more timid cat that is on the receiving end.  They do sell treats, but it takes 3 or more treats 2-3x a day and some cats don't like the treats. 

If this all fails and some time separated doesn't help, then you may need to start reintroductions. 

 

[ashley berner]

Thank you for your advice. I'm really anxious about letting the female out of my room today. I tried switching them out this morning... but she didn't want to leave, so I didn't make her yet. He keeps meowing at the door bc he doesn't know what's going on... just that he can't get to his sister or me.

If the Feliway wipes didn't work so far, would the diffusers... or should I assume the pheromones aren't going to work for my situation or my cats?

 

[mani]

I personally think that if the pheromones showed absolutely no difference as wipes, then diffusers may not be the answer.  I'd keep up the wipes since you have them.. they may take time.  But if you want to try the diffusers, it certainly wouldn't hurt!

Composure can help.. I've used it on ShadowsRescue's advice when my two have really got at each other.. it takes time to build up in their system and mine really hate the taste.. I have to give it by dropper.

The redirected aggression thing can have quite a subtle source.. it can be difficult to establish what it is.  Just be really vigilant.  But there's a chance it could also be over but the behaviour has become habit for your boy.

I still think it's worth taking him in for a check. 

Reintroduction does sound like a good way to go no matter what else youdo, as you are virtually doing it now.  Use our guide.. it's as comprehensive as they get!:  [article="32680"]How To Successfully Introduce Cats The Ultimate Guide​[/article]  

 

[ashley berner]

I just did an exercise tonight suggested by a behaviorist. I held the girl while my dad held the boy across the room for ten minutes. Neither was in the mood to be held, but that is normal. They looked at each other off and on -- and she didn't growl. Going to try it again tomorrow. Hope I'm doing this right.

 

[mani]

I really don't know much about how behaiourists work, but good on you for giving it a go... Keep us posted! 

 

[ashley berner]

They both seemed calmer tonight... so I went with my instincts and let her out. They sniffed, then ate side by side for a few minutes. Without him doing anything, not even a change in body language, she growled. So, she got a timeout. Let her calm for about ten minutes and let her out. Got them to play with me at the same time for a good length of time, when he got close to what she was playing with, she growled. Timeout again. Then let her out and it's was a supervised hour without incident. She even seems calmer like she doesn't need to be paranoid and watch his every move. Now she's sleeping in "her spot" while he's alternating between roaming, napping, and eating some dinner. Still won't trust them to be alone overnight, but it's progress. One of the behaviorists said to not be afraid to discipline the female... she needs to learn that growling/hissing without warrant is not acceptable. Makes sense. Doing my best. Thank you for encouragement and advice. Anyone else ever gone through this?

 

[ashley berner]

Day two of supervision. It seems to be helping. Whenever one tries to start something, they get a time out. Suggested from a cat behaviorist. A few minutes in time out seems to calm them for a while. I still keep my girl in my bedroom at night, because they aren't ready to be unsupervised. My girl does not like when my boy comes upstairs. Not sure why, but that is going to be a hurdle. Sigh. This is hard. As always, any advice is appreciated.

 

[ashley berner]

After taking necessary steps... things have improved slowly... there hasn't been a big blow up in a week, there has been some slight tension, which I've dealt with. I also plugged in a Feliway diffuser today. I am still so fearful something will happen again... for those of you who know more about this and have experienced it... when should I feel hopeful I am in the clear and on the way towards peace all of the time? Thanks.

 

[catdogmommy4]

I'm not much of an expert, aside from living with multiple cats all my life, and learning from them, but I have an idea that might be worth investigating. As cats mature they seem to have a stronger sense of what is theirs. The more dominant cat usually gets first pick of the humans they want attention from. Sometimes temperament and personality are cooperative enough with each other that cat owners don't ever notice the communication going on between cats. If the less dominant cat tries to dominate the dominant cat though...which usually happens throughout the first years of the cats lives, or when the dominant cat is possibly sick or in a more weak state than before.
What I'm saying is, you've had a dominant female kitty that knows male kitty is trying to move up the hierarchy ladder. She doesn't want to give up her rank. All dominant cats will fight to maintain rank. Whether they are male or female, it doesn't matter. For some reason, male kitty has sensed that he can dominate her, so he's trying to. Pheromones should help. I had some issues with some of my kitties not agreeing with who was in charge, I tried pheromones, which were expensive, and didn't see a difference, my kitties were refusing to share litter boxes. The only thing that ended up helping was Prozac for cats. I gave it to them for about 6 months. They adapted, chilled, and then they didn't need it anymore.
The liquid called 'calm down" for felines, sold in pet stores helped with stress related issues too.Way cheaper than pheromones. I wish I could say I noticed whether pheromones helped or not.
I feel for you! I get so worried when my kitties behaviors change. It can be a very consuming worry, like when a babies behavior changes...they can't tell us why, so we search and search for answers hoping to find relief for them. Trial and error is crazy-making sometimes, especially when it's our baby kitty's health and safety at risk.

 

[ashley berner]

Thank you for your response. Now for the past several days, I haven't had any major incidents like the beginning. Just some occasional tension that usually peaks in the mornings and then sometimes in the evenings. He might chase her, and then she will give a stern meow, growl, or hiss to let hime know she is not having it. He is listening more and more, and the more he does - the more confident she gets. But sometimes he does chase her, she darts underneath my bed... but she comes out rather quickly now, so they are bouncing back from their arguments quicker. She even initiated play with him last night... so clearly she isn't as terrified of him as before.

I'm wondering if this is just how it's going to be... or if the situation is still resolving itself... or what? It is so strange to see them snuggle and then argue. Does something just shift and happen when they're 2-3 years old? Will it stop?

Other than that, they are normal with each other. They snuggle in my bed together, bathe each other, eat together. So clearly it has improved... I just want to make sure things don't get heated like they did during that first incident. A little tension here and there doesn't bother me as long as things don't escalate. 

 

[luminous]

How are your cats doing now? Are they still together? Do you still have them both?