Afraid Of Strangers

[Ardina]

My cat Saipha has always been afraid of strangers. She's the sweetest cat when it comes to people she knows, but will run and hide under the bed if she doesn't recognize them. For the last two years, this wasn't much of a problem because visitors are rare and I lived on a second floor apartment.

Recently, I moved to a ground-floor apartment, and my windows look out over a busy walkway, with people coming and going. Saipha, who used to love sitting on the windowsill and looking out the window, is now constantly stressed by the people passing outside. I realized this when I gave her breakfast this morning in the usual spot under the window and saw her take a few bites and then run away as soon as someone passed.

Besides moving the feeding station to someplace else and keeping the blinds closed, is there anything I can do to make her less stressed by the passersby? It's only been a few days, but is there a chance that she'll ever get used to it?

 

[abyeb]

I'd give it a few more days. Since Saipha in a new environment, that probably adds additional stress, so maybe after she's more used to the apartment, she might be more tolerant of passerbys.

 

[verna davies]

I agree. It's early days. In time she will realise that the people can't come in and relax. Give her plenty of support, sit with her by the window and talk to her when people pass by.

 

[PushPurrCatPaws]

Saipha is a beauty!

I agree with Verna, that it would be good if you sit near her and the window, and act reassuring when people walk by. Unless the passersby are very loud jerks, of course, she'll otherwise note your calm demeanor and begin to learn that they shouldn't be threatening to her. It may help desensitize her.
A while back I wrote this post in another thread:
Communication from Cats

Have you tried going outside, and walking by your own window at times, like I describe a little in the above linked comment? ^
Maybe if she comes to know that, of the people that she sees outside that window, one of them might be YOU, it will help her process the outdoor activity a bit more and look for patterns... e.g. one of the "patterns" could be the sound of you coming home!

Poor kitty has lost the Favorite Window she's enjoyed for a year or two!

 

[Ardina]

Thank you all for the advice! I know she's still nervous in a new environment, so I'm hopeful that she'll get used to it in time.

PushPurrCatPaws I never even thought of walking outside my own window. I'll give it a try! At the moment, she's nervous enough around my new roommate that she's mostly hiding under the bed and couches, so it might be a while before she feels brave enough to sit by the window again.

She and my kitten Mishka aren't eating too well either, so *fingers crossed* they adjust soon. Poor kitties have lost their whole world...

 

[PushPurrCatPaws]

Well, I do make it a point with my cat to only call out to her & wave to her from outside my window when I am coming home, so that the next thing that happens after she sees me outside is that I walk in the door.

I never let her see me when I am leaving, as I fear she would just cry and howl if I don't show up! You know? That would be zero fun for both of us!

 

[Ardina]

Good point! The apartment setup is a little weird - I usually enter from a different side, so I never pass by those windows. But I can definitely take the long way around occasionally so she gets used to associating the window with good things. And I'll take the direct route that doesn't pass by the windows when leaving.

 

[maggiedemi]

Where did you get her, was she feral? I have two feral cats and there are deathly afraid of all strangers. It's heartbreaking, but I don't think they will ever get over it.

 

[Ardina]

I'm not actually sure about her background. I adopted her from the local shelter when she was 4 months old. At the shelter, she didn't hide too much but wasn't all too forward either. She was fine with petting and being held. So I don't think she was feral, but she might not have been exposed to too many different people during the socialization period around 6-8 weeks. She is also much more afraid of men and takes longer to warm up to them than women. Not sure if she had some bad experiences or is just scared of the heavier footsteps and deeper voices.

 

[PushPurrCatPaws]

Can you try putting up a cat tree opposite the window, so that she can view what's going on outside from a high "position of power" and at some distance from the window? I would try that. It may take some time, but all cats need a good Position of Power, LOL.

 

[Ardina]

Haha I love the "Position of Power" idea! And it makes sense because in my old apartment, she would look out from the second floor window onto people walking by and be fine with it. It's definitely the height that helped her be more confident.

I actually already have a cat tree set up in the living room next to a window, but I'm waiting for her to feel brave enough to venture out of my bedroom and into the rest of the house.

 

[PushPurrCatPaws]

Also, I wouldn't feed her under the window for now (you mentioned this in post #1). She doesn't feel safe there just yet. Find a temporary new place for giving food, till she comes out of her shell more.

With my own cat Milly, I actually have about a half dozen different places where she regularly eats: I shift the dish around to a few places according to how I know she is feeling, and sometimes, according to the brand or type of food, or even the time of day. (For example, when Milly has some nausea, I don't place her food flat on the floor per usual, as I find that she scarfs the food down if I put it on top a table or cabinet. I think it's that "position of power" thing! It's weird! It's like she feels safer when she is up higher, and so she feels less distracted to eat.)

I just want her to get used to knowing several different places where food might "appear". I've known cats who eat in only one single place and in only one way, all of their lives. Whenever people have gone out of town and they've had cat sitters, the cat invariably doesn't eat as well because you can almost guarantee that a cat sitter will not put the food dish in the "usual place".

 

[caelesto]

Ivy (a.k.a. The Simple Cat) never used to be afraid of people, but now she hides whenever people come over. Though oddly enough, once it's dark outside, she gets a little braver. Some cats are just shy by nature, I think. My sister had a cat that would never ever come out when there were people over. She was a total lap-cat when it was just her and my sister home, she just never warmed to other people.

Saipha (who is gorgeous!!) will probably get used to the new living situation eventually, even if she never quite warms to strangers. Like the others said, make her feel safe when people are passing by--give her a treat, play with her, cuddle her. Even if she's still afraid of strangers, she will probably feel less stressed about it.

 

[Ardina]

Well, it's day 5 of new apartment, and Saipha is adjusting a bit better. She's spending time in the rest of the apartment instead of just hiding under the bed all day. My kitten Mishka adjusted a lot faster and is eating her normal amount again, but Saipha is still eating a lot less than usual. Saipha used to lick her bowl clean at every mealtime within 10 minutes of me putting it down, but these days she sniffs it, maybe eats a few bites, and walks away. It's hard for me to tell exactly how much she is getting because I'll come back to mostly finished bowls, but it's very possible that Mishka is eating all or most of the food.

I tried elevating her food to a higher spot, one that Mishka can't quite jump to, but Saipha ate even less with it elevated. I've tried all kinds of different food, including all of her favorites. I've even tried feeding her under the bed, since she feels safest there. She maybe ate a little bit more that way, but not by much. She doesn't seem sick - she isn't lethargic and isn't hiding anymore. And she's playing with Mishka and following me around like usual. Do I just need to give her more time?

Edited to add: She'll even wake me up as usual at dawn to insist on breakfast, but then she'll barely eat any of it.

 

[abyeb]

Maybe a Feliway diffuser would help lower Saipha's stress

 

[PushPurrCatPaws]

...

I tried elevating her food to a higher spot, one that Mishka can't quite jump to, but Saipha ate even less with it elevated.

That's too bad!

...
I've tried all kinds of different food, including all of her favorites. I've even tried feeding her under the bed, since she feels safest there. She maybe ate a little bit more that way, but not by much. She doesn't seem sick - she isn't lethargic and isn't hiding anymore. And she's playing with Mishka and following me around like usual. Do I just need to give her more time?

Edited to add: She'll even wake me up as usual at dawn to insist on breakfast, but then she'll barely eat any of it.

She is hungry, but just not eating as much as usual? As long as she is getting some food daily, you could keep a close eye on her behaviors and on her continued food intake and hope she begins to feel more settled in the new home. Does she eat more when you are also around, or will she eat when you are not home? If the former, maybe till she feels more settled you could sit nearby during her meal times and maybe she'll feel "safer" in your presence eating for a longer time period and finishing her meals. If her appetite doesn't kick back in soon, you might take her in for a vet check?

 

[caelesto]

Cats are fussy eaters by nature. That can increase when they're stressed. As long as she's eating something every day, I wouldn't worry too much. If she doesn't go back to eating more within a week or, of if she stops eating altogether, then maybe time to consult a vet.

 

[Ardina]

I think I'll give her a week before I start worrying too much. She is eating some amount each day, but it's hard for me to tell exactly how much. Since she's still running around, playing, and not hiding, I'm not too concerned yet. I know that the last time there was a major change in environment, she went off her food then too, so hopefully her appetite will come back. I'll try sitting with her and see if she eats more that way.

I've got Feliway running in the living room, but I'm not sure if it's doing much. Ah well, it can't hurt.

 

[Ardina]

She still wasn't eating much by Sunday, so I gave her a tiny bit of mirtazapine to kickstart her appetite. It worked! She woke me up three times overnight for more food, ate a ton, and resumed eating her normal amount the next day. She's feeling a lot more comfortable around the windows and with the new environment in general, so I think I'll start walking by the windows and giving her more reason to look forward to passersby.

 

[abyeb]

Yay!

I'm glad to hear that Saipha is doing better!