Afraid of me

Greenmyrtle · Feb 4, 2023

Update on today: Thanks for all the input.

In the course of today because I was sharing here I REALLY SAW how this fear is affecting her multiple times a day, when she feels she has to get out of my way. Also noticed that it is mainly an issue in the bedroom where the vet-capture occurred.

ihadnt given that any mind because we also all sleep on the bed together just fine and she naps on the bed or the sill all day long. But no! If I’m moving around she’s on edge and likely to slide off under the bed or trot downstairs

So I this evening I decided to keep treats in my jeans pocket from now on (no crinkle). But It’s the same treats that were associated with the trauma.

she took a few from me fine downstairs, and at least one on the bed (I was sitting on edge of bed and her lying on bed. Worked first time … other cat ate treat and she didn’t run

second time, had my back to her sitting on bed edge and treat lying on my palm reached behind me. She sniffed it a bit, then decided to jump off bed and go downstairs

May get different treats but keep up the treat-pocket-dispenser-lady thing long term wherever we meet around the house through the day.

…and in a year start working on crinkle noises!!

I think this is a big issue for her and I think it’s gonna take some time. I was her #1 PERSON, raised her from 3 months and then did all I could to be her play and cuddle substitute when her bonded pair kitty died suddenly last August, and then she became very bonded to me.

I feel like it’s a bit of a horror movie thing for her that I turned from wonderful and did something that was so very traumatic, and she’s now really confused about trusting me.

I know that sounds out there anthropomorphising… but I’m in good company here!!

NekoM · Feb 5, 2023

My feeling is there’s two things going on. It’s likely she’s forgotten everything that happened on the day of the Vets appointment and she just wants to get on with her life, she’s showing you affection, approaches you when she needs something and runs away when she wants to be left alone. Your thinking of her as a kitten but at 18 months she’s a moody teenager and wants to do her own thing, and wondering why she’s being picked on even though she’s not actually doing anything wrong.
I’m not sure if you’ve ever heard the term “mirroring” something Cats are particularly good at is copying and if there’s one or more other cats in the house they all start copying behaviors and vocalizing in similar ways, they can also mirror our negative emotions - If you approach her nervously, she’ll leave nervously. If you want to connect back with her mirror some of her behaviors. Give her love when she wants it and space when she wants to be left alone, approach this situation as building a whole new relationship based around who she is now. She’ll feel less threatened and you’ll get her trust back.