Affectionate Or Dominant Grooming?

[ramscici]

Hi guys! My two cats, Celeste and Ramses, get along very well. They share space, sometimes take naps with each other, play together a lot (although Celeste will certainly let him know when she’s had enough) and are in general pals. One thing I’ve noticed though is that it’s always Celeste grooming Ramses, and never the other way around. She is always gentle and there’s no biting or anything, and Ramses does seem to like it because he adjusts his head to let her clean it, but I never see him grooming her in return. I actually don’t know how she would respond to it because I have never seen him try.

I have a video of the interaction on my twitter account, here (the caption is sarcasm ):


What do you guys think? Is Celeste being dominant? Does she just love her brother? And is Ramses just not returning the favor? Would love some insight!

 

[Mamanyt1953]

They're fine. They've defined their relationship, and are good with it. And it is a good relationship! Why doesn't he do it back? Who knows from cats, as my father used to say. Perhaps she, being female, has a stronger nurture drive than he does. But they are both quite happy with this, so I'd just...let them have at it, and not worry. It isn't a dominance thing, at all.

 

[She's a witch]

Ramses looks like a black panther :* he is super handsome! I love black cats a lot.
I have a similar duo at home and the same observation. Maybe this is typical black cats male thing, not returning a favour ;-) Mine never grooms my female cat, and from what I can tell, her grooming seems to be dominant - she is not as gentle as yours, sometimes she would hold him strongly even when he wants to get away and she would force-groom him Luckily he doesn't really seem to care about his social status, he is relaxed cat and he loves her grooming, often he comes to her with his head asking for it. She has other semi-dominant behaviours though, she doesn't accept chasing her, she must get her head into his bowl on every meal. This is actually pretty funny as she is much smaller than he is. But even it is is a dominant behaviour, it doesn't really affect their relationship in my case, and it doesn't seem to in yours.

 

[Kieka]

I have a black DSH male and a little pointed female at home with the exact opposite behavior. My girl will headbutt Fury to get him to start grooming her. Super aggressive about it, flop on top of him, nudge his head up, groom me now type of behaviors. She doesn't do it to my boy, Link, only to Fury.

He will oblige and groom her most of the time. She wants to be groomed until she falls asleep (and is usually slobbery). She is in absolute heaven the times he holds her head still or really gets into it. If he stops she looks super confused and sad at him. And I have never seen her groom him back.

But like Mamanyt1953 said, it works for them.

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[Etarre]

Friends just adopted two 4-month old sisters who are similarly uneven...the dominant cat is definitely the caretaker of her sister, and grooms her, and the sister does not. So I guess it's not just the boys who are lazy.