Dear cat lovers,
first of all I would like to thank everyone who posts and participates in this forum; you have been a great help to me in some cat situations
I found the site once googling, but have sticked to it ever since to read your experiences.
I would like to ask you for advice in the following situation. I hope you won't mind the longer read, but I don't want to miss something that could be of some significance.
We've adopted a female cat little more than 2 years ago. She was a street cat, saved from the street by a group of volunteers, and in a temporary home with six other cats before we saw the ad for her and decided to adopt her. She was about six months old when we took her and in bad condition (afraid of humans, skinny, her coat was a disaster, had UTI etc.) She got veterinary care, we got rid of UTI, fed quality food and in parallel we engaged play therapy. After a few months her true nature came out :she is still not a lap cat and does not like strangers, but she is a wonderful, gentle, playful soul. She is perfect just the way she is.
Last year, one day our way home, we spotted a small black cat on the parking lot in front of our building calling out under one of the cars. She wouldn't come near but we figured she was hungry and we left some food. After some time, we started seeing her regularly so we fed her more often until it became habit and we got the feeling she was waiting for us. To cut the long story short, we took her home because we were sure she wouldn't survive outside and in the cold. The only way to catch her was with a trap-cage we borrowed. We took her to the vet immediately and the plan was to recover her as much as we can(she was in a really bad condition and we found out she had FIV) and find her a new home because we hadn't planned to adopt another cat. Very soon we saw that we found her a home (with us), where she will stay
After helping her overcome her fear, teacher her to play, and solving all her medial issues we came to the point of prepping terrain that the two kitties meet. We had no experience with handling or socializing two cats ever, but we gave it our best.
We took it slowly, newcomer had a separate room, we exchanged smells through socks and toys, they saw each other only through screen doors.
The first-ever nose to nose contact came over a month after we brought the newcomer home. After that we played with each of them separately so they can see each other,
give them treats or food when they're together and we try to maintain this daily.
They have everything separate, food, water, litter boxes, cat trees etc.
Because of FIV we (I) are afraid to let them be alone, so their together-time is always supervised.
After a few months they've known each other I would sum up their relationship in this way:
1. our older/native cat is calm towards the other cat in cases:
- she is getting treats or petted
- she is playing or amused in some way
- the newcomer is sticking to her main turf (two large rooms)
- the newcomer is not moving a lot/especially deep in her turf
- sooner or later, the older cat will start a chase, prepare an ambush, or would like to pounch the new cat.
There is no aggression signs (growling, hissing, tail buff etc.), but chase or attempt to pounch are commonly seen.
Examples:
- newcomer is sleeping like an angel in his cat tree, and the older cat wants to ambush her
- newcomer is purring and sleeping in my lap, the older cat is looking through the window sitting on the window perch chirping with birds for half an hour, on the way down from window perch, she wants to make a pounch
- we are playing, each cat with her own toy on each end of the room. Several minutes after play is clean time and a little rest time, then planning of ambush time starts.
2. the newcomer is not interested in the older cat. The newcomers' focus is on us, and she acts as if she sometimes disregards the presence of the domestic cat. When she sees an upcoming pounch, she is ready to return. She never starts a chase.
If they are both in peaceful state (after eating or playing), or are separately amused, they can be peacefully looking at each other for some time.
They are both healthy cats, the newcomer was often at the vet in the last few months (bad teeth, teeth operation, abscess and antibiotics therapy), the old cat has regular yearly check-up, one of which is coming up in the next few weeks; I will ask for a thorough check-up to disregard any underlying possible medical issue to be connected with the behavior.
What I would like to do, is to work on:
- destressing the older cat because I feel she is very stressed whenever the newcomer is nearby
- improving the relationship between the two of them.
I don't want them to miss a great relationship between each other.
I don't mind if they will never be one of those cats who sleep together, clean themselves and are super-cute on photos, but I want them to feel safe around each other and that we love them equally.
I would appreciate your opinion on my situation and advice how to go on, or start over.
I have a feeling in my gut that I am a majority of the problem, because I'm afraid to let them be "fully cats" when they are together due to fear of FIV transfer.
Thank you very much in advance for reading my post and the advice.
first of all I would like to thank everyone who posts and participates in this forum; you have been a great help to me in some cat situations
I found the site once googling, but have sticked to it ever since to read your experiences.I would like to ask you for advice in the following situation. I hope you won't mind the longer read, but I don't want to miss something that could be of some significance.
We've adopted a female cat little more than 2 years ago. She was a street cat, saved from the street by a group of volunteers, and in a temporary home with six other cats before we saw the ad for her and decided to adopt her. She was about six months old when we took her and in bad condition (afraid of humans, skinny, her coat was a disaster, had UTI etc.) She got veterinary care, we got rid of UTI, fed quality food and in parallel we engaged play therapy. After a few months her true nature came out :she is still not a lap cat and does not like strangers, but she is a wonderful, gentle, playful soul. She is perfect just the way she is.
Last year, one day our way home, we spotted a small black cat on the parking lot in front of our building calling out under one of the cars. She wouldn't come near but we figured she was hungry and we left some food. After some time, we started seeing her regularly so we fed her more often until it became habit and we got the feeling she was waiting for us. To cut the long story short, we took her home because we were sure she wouldn't survive outside and in the cold. The only way to catch her was with a trap-cage we borrowed. We took her to the vet immediately and the plan was to recover her as much as we can(she was in a really bad condition and we found out she had FIV) and find her a new home because we hadn't planned to adopt another cat. Very soon we saw that we found her a home (with us), where she will stay
After helping her overcome her fear, teacher her to play, and solving all her medial issues we came to the point of prepping terrain that the two kitties meet. We had no experience with handling or socializing two cats ever, but we gave it our best.
We took it slowly, newcomer had a separate room, we exchanged smells through socks and toys, they saw each other only through screen doors.
The first-ever nose to nose contact came over a month after we brought the newcomer home. After that we played with each of them separately so they can see each other,
give them treats or food when they're together and we try to maintain this daily.
They have everything separate, food, water, litter boxes, cat trees etc.
Because of FIV we (I) are afraid to let them be alone, so their together-time is always supervised.
After a few months they've known each other I would sum up their relationship in this way:
1. our older/native cat is calm towards the other cat in cases:
- she is getting treats or petted
- she is playing or amused in some way
- the newcomer is sticking to her main turf (two large rooms)
- the newcomer is not moving a lot/especially deep in her turf
- sooner or later, the older cat will start a chase, prepare an ambush, or would like to pounch the new cat.
There is no aggression signs (growling, hissing, tail buff etc.), but chase or attempt to pounch are commonly seen.
Examples:
- newcomer is sleeping like an angel in his cat tree, and the older cat wants to ambush her
- newcomer is purring and sleeping in my lap, the older cat is looking through the window sitting on the window perch chirping with birds for half an hour, on the way down from window perch, she wants to make a pounch
- we are playing, each cat with her own toy on each end of the room. Several minutes after play is clean time and a little rest time, then planning of ambush time starts.
2. the newcomer is not interested in the older cat. The newcomers' focus is on us, and she acts as if she sometimes disregards the presence of the domestic cat. When she sees an upcoming pounch, she is ready to return. She never starts a chase.
If they are both in peaceful state (after eating or playing), or are separately amused, they can be peacefully looking at each other for some time.
They are both healthy cats, the newcomer was often at the vet in the last few months (bad teeth, teeth operation, abscess and antibiotics therapy), the old cat has regular yearly check-up, one of which is coming up in the next few weeks; I will ask for a thorough check-up to disregard any underlying possible medical issue to be connected with the behavior.
What I would like to do, is to work on:
- destressing the older cat because I feel she is very stressed whenever the newcomer is nearby
- improving the relationship between the two of them.
I don't want them to miss a great relationship between each other.
I don't mind if they will never be one of those cats who sleep together, clean themselves and are super-cute on photos, but I want them to feel safe around each other and that we love them equally.
I would appreciate your opinion on my situation and advice how to go on, or start over.
I have a feeling in my gut that I am a majority of the problem, because I'm afraid to let them be "fully cats" when they are together due to fear of FIV transfer.
Thank you very much in advance for reading my post and the advice.
