We have 2 cats left of 6 that we did a TNR on a little over 8 years ago. After our house cats passed the Mother Cat which we estimate to be about 9 to 10 years old basically took their place as a 50% house cat and you would never know she was ever a feral cat she got so gentle. Her kitten which is also a fixed female and now about 8 years old decided in the last few months that she too is willing to be a house cat and is staying in the house 50% of the time. Here comes the problem .... the older cat don't seem to want to be in the house when her kitten is in here also. The older cat will come in for pets, cat treats, get brushed, litter box etc. and she wants out in 15 minutes. This older Mother Cat has always wanted to be the alpha cat,. But I have made sure to pay an equal amount of attention to both hoping neither will get jealous. I had hoped with winter coming on we could have 2 house cats in cold weather. Unless I can come up with something to make them get along I think one is still going to stuck outside in the cold this winter which was not what we wanting. Another thing I might add these 2 cats have shared a food bowl outside for 8 years and now on the inside the older cat will growl and swipe at her 8 year old kitten. I have tried adding extra food bowls, etc, .but this hasn't really been a help. I never dreamed that either of these cats would get friendly after all these years and really hate they cannot seem to share the house. I just wanted to ask if anyone else has ever had a similar problem and have a solution. Thanks!
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Advice Needed on "Used" to be ferals ....
- Thread starter keeneland
- Start Date
Our littlest kitty, Elliot, used to live outside. Now, he lives indoors with Casper, the elder, who was an only cat for almost ten years.
Casper knew Elliot from when he used to visit on the back porch for his meals. They were friendly when they met through the screen door and even when Elliot would come indoors for visits during the cold weather. When we brought Elliot in, full time, there were a few episodes of hissing and swatting on Casper's part and a couple of scuffles but there wasn't any outright fighting. It took a couple-few weeks of keeping Elliot separated in his own room and a few more weeks of supervision but they both coexist, peacefully, now.
Still, even now that they've been together for more than half a year, Casper and Elliot have their moments. Casper is eleven years old and he was the master of the house before the other cat came along. Elliot, about eighteen months old, often acts like the little upstart, getting on Casper's nerves. Sometimes, Elliot starts up with Casper when he doesn't want to play. Other times, Casper acts like the grumpy, old man that he is and just doesn't want to be around Elliot. There are still occasional spats of hissing, growling and swatting, mostly on Casper's part but, mostly, it's just "Cat Politics." Cats don't can't talk and they don't have hands. Hissing and swatting is the only way cats can say, "Buzz off," when they want to be alone.
One thing we do is to make sure that each cat has their own safe space where they can go when they don't want to be bothered. Casper has a "hidey hole" under a nightstand in the bedroom. There's a cloth over the table which makes a nice hideout for Casper. We put a blanket under there for Casper to snuggle himself in and there's a central air vent that blows warm air in the winter and cool air in the summer. That's Casper's "clubhouse" and Elliot isn't allowed to go there. When Elliot wants to hide out, he usually goes behind the sofa where Casper doesn't go. Each cat has their own spot to call their own.
The second thing we do is give cats enough places to climb up and get away from the other when they want to. In our house, cats are allowed to climb anywhere except the kitchen counters and the stove. Every place else is fair territory. If Elliot gets on Casper's nerves, he'll climb up to a bookshelf and hang out until the coast is clear. Casper likes to climb up high to survey his territory like "Lion King." Elliot isn't much of a climber. Tabletop high seems to be his limit.
Since Casper and Elliot have been together in the same house, there haven't been any incidents where we had to give them a "time out." If the cats scuffle, we give them a warning... "Settle down!" They have three strikes. On the third strike, they each get locked in separate rooms for fifteen minutes. (No matter which was the aggressor, both cats get a time out.) I can only remember one or two times when we had to do that. It was only just after we let the cats out, together, full-time. I don't remember giving the cats any time outs in the last three or four months.
Both cats have coexisted, peacefully, for almost half a year, now, because we make sure that there is always a place for one cat or the other to go when he doesn't want to be bothered. Casper does have permission to bop Elliot on the head when he tries to start up. Casper is the top cat of the house and he's the one who sets the rules. Remember, bopping is normal cat politics. Beyond that, Casper goes upstairs to his hidey hole, under the nightstand, when he doesn't want to be bothered.
From what I understand, your two cats have only been (partly) living inside for a short time. It's going to be a while before they each stake out their own territory to live under a flag of truce. It will take anywhere from a couple-few weeks to several months for that to happen.
Keep doing what you have already been doing. Try to treat both cats equally. Don't favor one over the other with food, attention or playtime. Make sure that each cat has their own safe space. Set your own "House Rules" for behavior and stick to them. If cats start acting up and don't listen, give them time outs when appropriate. Beyond that, just give them the time and the space to get used to each other. They should eventually learn to coexist like Casper and Elliot.
Cats have the approximate mental capacity of a two or three year old child. Keep in mind that, at least for the time being, you'll be dealing with a couple of toddlers in their "Terrible Twos."
Casper knew Elliot from when he used to visit on the back porch for his meals. They were friendly when they met through the screen door and even when Elliot would come indoors for visits during the cold weather. When we brought Elliot in, full time, there were a few episodes of hissing and swatting on Casper's part and a couple of scuffles but there wasn't any outright fighting. It took a couple-few weeks of keeping Elliot separated in his own room and a few more weeks of supervision but they both coexist, peacefully, now.
Still, even now that they've been together for more than half a year, Casper and Elliot have their moments. Casper is eleven years old and he was the master of the house before the other cat came along. Elliot, about eighteen months old, often acts like the little upstart, getting on Casper's nerves. Sometimes, Elliot starts up with Casper when he doesn't want to play. Other times, Casper acts like the grumpy, old man that he is and just doesn't want to be around Elliot. There are still occasional spats of hissing, growling and swatting, mostly on Casper's part but, mostly, it's just "Cat Politics." Cats don't can't talk and they don't have hands. Hissing and swatting is the only way cats can say, "Buzz off," when they want to be alone.
One thing we do is to make sure that each cat has their own safe space where they can go when they don't want to be bothered. Casper has a "hidey hole" under a nightstand in the bedroom. There's a cloth over the table which makes a nice hideout for Casper. We put a blanket under there for Casper to snuggle himself in and there's a central air vent that blows warm air in the winter and cool air in the summer. That's Casper's "clubhouse" and Elliot isn't allowed to go there. When Elliot wants to hide out, he usually goes behind the sofa where Casper doesn't go. Each cat has their own spot to call their own.
The second thing we do is give cats enough places to climb up and get away from the other when they want to. In our house, cats are allowed to climb anywhere except the kitchen counters and the stove. Every place else is fair territory. If Elliot gets on Casper's nerves, he'll climb up to a bookshelf and hang out until the coast is clear. Casper likes to climb up high to survey his territory like "Lion King." Elliot isn't much of a climber. Tabletop high seems to be his limit.
Since Casper and Elliot have been together in the same house, there haven't been any incidents where we had to give them a "time out." If the cats scuffle, we give them a warning... "Settle down!" They have three strikes. On the third strike, they each get locked in separate rooms for fifteen minutes. (No matter which was the aggressor, both cats get a time out.) I can only remember one or two times when we had to do that. It was only just after we let the cats out, together, full-time. I don't remember giving the cats any time outs in the last three or four months.
Both cats have coexisted, peacefully, for almost half a year, now, because we make sure that there is always a place for one cat or the other to go when he doesn't want to be bothered. Casper does have permission to bop Elliot on the head when he tries to start up. Casper is the top cat of the house and he's the one who sets the rules. Remember, bopping is normal cat politics. Beyond that, Casper goes upstairs to his hidey hole, under the nightstand, when he doesn't want to be bothered.
From what I understand, your two cats have only been (partly) living inside for a short time. It's going to be a while before they each stake out their own territory to live under a flag of truce. It will take anywhere from a couple-few weeks to several months for that to happen.
Keep doing what you have already been doing. Try to treat both cats equally. Don't favor one over the other with food, attention or playtime. Make sure that each cat has their own safe space. Set your own "House Rules" for behavior and stick to them. If cats start acting up and don't listen, give them time outs when appropriate. Beyond that, just give them the time and the space to get used to each other. They should eventually learn to coexist like Casper and Elliot.
Cats have the approximate mental capacity of a two or three year old child. Keep in mind that, at least for the time being, you'll be dealing with a couple of toddlers in their "Terrible Twos."
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Above and beyond the advice given above, I can only suggest that first you bring them both inside - full-time. That is assuming you have a house big enough to do so. You would have to work with them separately, each being confined to an individual safe room to help get them used to being inside all the time. Only then, will it work to try to integrate them into each other's space.
The point in this multi-step approach is because both need to get accustomed to being inside cats initially without the distraction of the other cat - and, then neither will feel as compelled to go outside in order to avoid the other. Cats that have indoor/outdoor access will often use that to their advantage to keep away from another cat.
The 5 Golden Rules To Bringing An Outdoor Cat Inside - TheCatSite
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide - TheCatSite
The point in this multi-step approach is because both need to get accustomed to being inside cats initially without the distraction of the other cat - and, then neither will feel as compelled to go outside in order to avoid the other. Cats that have indoor/outdoor access will often use that to their advantage to keep away from another cat.
The 5 Golden Rules To Bringing An Outdoor Cat Inside - TheCatSite
How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide - TheCatSite
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Hi! I can't add to the excellent suggestions you've already been given except would it be possible to build a catio so the cats can both come and go as they wish, but not have free roam? I had one built last summer, and I can say it's some of the best money I've ever spent. The cats love being outside, but it's covered and sturdy so they are safe from harms way and can have the choice whether they want to be inside or out, but no one is locked outside in the cold. It's a huge peace of mind for me as they can enjoy nice days outside without me having to worry.
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- #5
I want thank everyone for their suggestions! These cats of ours have been feral so long I never envisioned them turning into house cats as both live to hunt on our farm. It's not that they need to hunt as we have fed them the 9 or 10 years they have been in our neighborhood. The kitten (8 years old) has always adored the Mother cat and I think it is really confusing her why her Mom's attitude seems different inside. Hopefully it will get better as last year we had temps get down to 30 below for about a week. We kept the Mother in the house but could not get the kitten in and how she survived in that temperature we have no idea. We just don't want a repeat of that situation this year in the reverse order. I don't see that being an issue with the 8 year old kitten now as she has been sleeping up to 10-12 hours a day on our couch with YouTube Relaxing Kitty music going. Pretty sure she has found out what she was missing and is now a confirmed cuddlier! Hopefully the older Alpha Mother will get better at accepting. Thanks All.....
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- #6
Just a follow up .... we have been out of town a couple of days. Both cats were very glad to see us back and have spent a couple of nights in the house together with no apparent fights! The Older cat still has to be out of the house ever 15 minutes it seems if she has her way. We have a couple of neighbor's cats that eat here also and we are starting to wonder if she feels the need to be outside to defend what she considers her turf. The other cat (8 year Kitten) who had been feral her whole life is well on the way to being a cuddle bug. She loves laying on the couch with me and when she isn't doing that has found that heat from the fireplace rises so she has a favorite place on our stairs wher it's warmer and she sleeps! As long as they are not having fights when the weather is colder I plan on both being in the house even if it may not be to their liking. They had both been feral so long that we felt we had to go slow to earn their trust and it appears at least in that part we have reached the goal.Thanks for the support!
I think that bringing them in, full time, during the winter is a smart move. 
Once they learn that it's warm and comfy inside the house they might not want to leave.
Once they learn that it's warm and comfy inside the house they might not want to leave.
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- #8
I wish I could report that the interactions with the cats has gotten better but they have not. It appears that our older Mother cat is just extremely jealous of the younger cat. The Mother cat attacked her kitten tonight with a snarl and a hiss that would do a Wildcat proud. This isn't the first time these attacks has occurred but was the most violent I had seen. It just appears the Mother cat has the need to be The Only Cat for her to be happy. We had another of her kittens that was our house cat till she passed away that had a similar attitude and her and her mother couldn't get along period. Only thing was she was bigger, stronger and could hold her own against her Mother but we couldn't have them in the house together.
My wife jokingly said maybe we needed to contact Jackson Galaxy for advice. It seems we gained a house cat and lost a house cat. Other than just continue to feed, groom, and love the Mother Cat I don't know what else we can do. She is here Morning and Night for food and is always tickled to see us but I think as soon as she sees Her Kitten in here she sees red! I am going to talk to some friends and the Local Humane Society as they generally have about 30 foster cats all the time. Hopefully they have had similar situations and I will see how they handled it.
This is the cat we gained as a housecat after 8 years .... Puff Ball
My wife jokingly said maybe we needed to contact Jackson Galaxy for advice. It seems we gained a house cat and lost a house cat. Other than just continue to feed, groom, and love the Mother Cat I don't know what else we can do. She is here Morning and Night for food and is always tickled to see us but I think as soon as she sees Her Kitten in here she sees red! I am going to talk to some friends and the Local Humane Society as they generally have about 30 foster cats all the time. Hopefully they have had similar situations and I will see how they handled it.
This is the cat we gained as a housecat after 8 years .... Puff Ball
