Advice needed about shy or scared cat.

[thanatos0042]

So my roommate and I have 4 cats between us. We have been roommates for more then 12 years, so it's a stable household and we don't often have guests around.

Here's the family:

Morpheus (male, Bengal, neutered, around 8 years old)

Jynx (female, black domestic, spayed, around 5-6 years old)

Eva (female, Jellicle domestic, spayed, around 3 years old - rescue)

Mal (male, bluepoint Siamese, neutered, around 1  1/2 years old - I got another Siamese because my previous one passed away due to FIP and there was a year in between his passing and this cat)

We also have 3 Cockatiels (Mr. P, Ghost and Mystic) - but the cats leave them alone, but just included for the sake of completeness.

We don't smack our cats with newspaper or squirt them with water or abuse them. They do get told no or told to stop when doing something bad, my roommate uses her mommy voice and they listen...they all tend to ignore me when I tell them no or to stop...I apparently don't have the right kind of voice :/ -- mostly I have to clap my hands at Morpheus and tell him no to get him to stop clawing the carpet at the edge of the stairs, but that is pretty much the limit. Loud noises and the like scare the birds so discipline is done in moderation and handled with care.

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This is regarding Mal, the Siamese. 

He was much more affectionate when he was younger but as he has gotten older he seems to be scared, jumpy/high strung and seems to only tolerate me anymore. I've never had a cat quite like him before.

He hides a lot, sleeping in dark quiet places. Currently he is sleeping in my closet, which is dark and has a nice hidey hole in it. From past experience, if I close that off he will simply find some place else to hide and I'd rather have him close so for now, I've left it alone. 

He will lounge comfortably on my bathroom counter as well, waiting for me to turn the water on so he can drink from it (which I do and have a filter on it so no tap water). 

But if I acknowledge him by look at him directly for more than a brief few moments or let him sniff my hand and then try to touch him -- he runs away. He almost always runs when I try to pet or touch him. Every once in a great while, if I am sitting he may walk past me and let me scratch his cheek for a few moments. He will eat treats from my hand. He also used to crawl in bed with me and mew and knead the blanket and mew while I petted him (he will still do this with my roommate sometimes), but not anymore it seems. He used to let me pet him as well. 

I'm really sort of at a loss as to what to do or what's changed and how to fix it. Some suggestions and advice would be very welcome.

 

[StefanZ]

Welcome to the TCS site and our Forums!

Interesting. I will try to think about it, I  hope others will fill in too.

One thing you can do, it to get a Feliway diffuser, or a couple of them...  It will get him feel more comfortable, nice and safe.

The refills arent cheap, so if you use it a longer time, try to find them on Ebay or Amazon - its cheaper that way.  1 Refill 4-6 weeks.

You can also have it in spray.

There is a similiar preparate, the Felifriend, in spray.  Although it is not sold in all countries, so if you want to have it, you must buy it online as post order.

Felifriend is used for handling them. So many vets do use it, and possibly even some show judges.

About petting. I suppose you could try to have something nice smelly on your hands...

for example

a little catnip.  Valeriana ("evening calming tea" ).  Or possibly coffe-rests  (my oldest resident loves coffe-rests to smell off.  To my anxiety: coffee as such is poisonous for cats)

Another tip is if your room-mate takes a journey several days, and YOU are the alone caretaker during these days...  they will quickly warm up to you, especially Mal....  

Good luck!   *vibes*

 

[thanatos0042]

Thank you for the welcome!

Any idea if the [color= rgb(24, 24, 24)]Feliway diffuser is dangerous for birds? I am not supposed to used scented candles and the like around them or other things that get into the air, since their nostrils are on top of their beaks. If you don't, that is fine, I will find the spray, it's probably the safer bet. I'll google it and see if I can find where to buy it.[/color]

[color= rgb(24, 24, 24)]We're in Houston, Texas for the record.[/color]

[color= rgb(24, 24, 24)]I'll try the catnip or the tea...I have some spray catnip I can dab a bit on my fingers to see how that works...I have a bit of OCD so I wash my hands a lol[/color]

[color= rgb(24, 24, 24)]Most of the cats are more friendly to me than my roommate, but for some reason, Mal has mommy issues or something lol....so he goes to her when he wants attention most of the time, but otherwise he hangs around sort of near me the rest of the time.[/color]

[color= rgb(24, 24, 24)]Jynx is my cat, she follows me around, brings me her toy mouse while crying until I play with her, sleeps beside me, etc.[/color]

[color= rgb(24, 24, 24)]Eva will sleep beside me at night and come to me and her both for affection, though she tends to hide under a blanket I drape over the side of my bed...I wonder if the spray will help her too.[/color]

[color= rgb(24, 24, 24)]Morpheus is my roommate's cat, but he is very affectionate with me. We are having some trouble with him though, he is sharpening his claws on the carpet at the top of the stairs and on the edge and he's been throwing up bile quite a bit lately. No changes in food or water. We're about to take him to the vet.[/color]

[color= rgb(24, 24, 24)]It's a regular fun house this month [/color]

[color= rgb(24, 24, 24)]Thank you for the good vibes![/color]

 

[dgflygirl]

Hi Thanatos!

This should answer your questions about using Feliway with birds. The article writer actually contacted to manufacturers, so this should prove useful!

http://vetmedicine.about.com/od/behaviortraining/f/feliway-parrot.htm

 

[p3 and the king]

I see what you mean.  Have you taken him to the vet and ruled out any possible deafness or maybe eye sight going bad?  My colorpoint I had as a child, Angel, started acting that way when he started losing his hearing and his sight was getting worse.  Something to consider. 

Other than that, I would say pay extra close attention to how he interacts with the other pets in the house.  Is there one he is avoiding now or does there seem to be tension somewhere?  Someone may be making a power play for an alpha spot and trying to dominate him. 

Hope you figure it out soon or he at least gets over what has gotten him so upset lately.

PS.. Also, I've never had much luck with feliway.  Not enough to keep using it.  Something that did help my Birman girl, Paige, last year when she was stressed out was a Calming Collar.  It worked wonders.  You can get them at any pet specialty store or even Walmart on occassion.  It's cheaper than feliway and it does work.  Trust me, you notice a difference as soon as you put it on or take it off.  I did.