Advice for socializing

[Lynn704]

Thank you! It is wonderful to hear how comfortable and loving all of your cats are in your home. I am looking forward to that day when Bella can rest comfortably with us in the family room.

I appreciate the advice on the bathroom and we will plan to keep her in there until she gets through recovery. It is nice to hear that you think we’re on the right track with little Bella!! I sometimes feel like I’m making a lot of mistakes and the reassurance is comforting.

I have never had the experience of living with a cat in heat and Bella is going into heat again so it seems to be coming every other week. She is very affectionate tonight and started the rolling again.She doesn’t really have a meow yet so she doesn’t vocalize but she does become quite uncomfortable mid cycle. As I write this, Shadow is curled up sleeping on the couch while Bella is quietly exploring the family room - yay!!

We ordered a tall pet gate tonight that will arrive tomorrow. I think it’ll be helpful during the day when tensions seem highest and I will be sure to use when aggressions rise. As I supervise interactions I will try and do better at blocking and diverting the staredowns. It’s funny because sometimes Bella will come up to Shadow when he’s just chilling and she’ll sniff his behind and then swat and hiss and walk away. I seem more upset about this than Shadow but when it happens I separate them. I did trim Bella’s and Shadow’s nails this week to help prevent injuries.

I’ve attached a couple of pics so you can see Bella and Shadow. I’m sure they are quite grateful for your help too!!

 

[Kwik]

Thank you! It is wonderful to hear how comfortable and loving all of your cats are in your home. I am looking forward to that day when Bella can rest comfortably with us in the family room.

I appreciate the advice on the bathroom and we will plan to keep her in there until she gets through recovery. It is nice to hear that you think we’re on the right track with little Bella!! I sometimes feel like I’m making a lot of mistakes and the reassurance is comforting.

I have never had the experience of living with a cat in heat and Bella is going into heat again so it seems to be coming every other week. She is very affectionate tonight and started the rolling again.She doesn’t really have a meow yet so she doesn’t vocalize but she does become quite uncomfortable mid cycle. As I write this, Shadow is curled up sleeping on the couch while Bella is quietly exploring the family room - yay!!

We ordered a tall pet gate tonight that will arrive tomorrow. I think it’ll be helpful during the day when tensions seem highest and I will be sure to use when aggressions rise. As I supervise interactions I will try and do better at blocking and diverting the staredowns. It’s funny because sometimes Bella will come up to Shadow when he’s just chilling and she’ll sniff his behind and then swat and hiss and walk away. I seem more upset about this than Shadow but when it happens I separate them. I did trim Bella’s and Shadow’s nails this week to help prevent injuries.

I’ve attached a couple of pics so you can see Bella and Shadow. I’m sure they are quite grateful for your help too!!


View attachment 471279View attachment 471280

Oh my-Bella looks like Shadow's mini me!Precious darlings!

You're doing great- I would not say to change a thing about what direction you're moving in-the tall gate is perfect and just really pay attention because Intervention " before" the act is far more effective than trying to " correct" after the fact.... your on the road to success and I have no doubt about it!

After the spay there will be a positive change too with a significant decrease in tension- hormones are such a nuisance,we girls can testify to that! Lol

The photos are great,more more!

 

[Lynn704]

Thank you, Kwik! I am happy to report that we’ve had some great progress the last two days!! Bella has come out into the kitchen the last two days for breakfast and dinner which is amazing and she is wanting to be out of the room more and more. She is showing a lot of happy kitten energy! I don’t want to jinx it but no swatting has occurred the last two days and I have been very attentive making sure any staredowns are redirected and I’m not really letting them interact much but they are in the room together sometimes just a couple feet away while I sit down on the floor by them. Shadow especially is showing signs of being more relaxed and will sleep now even while she is in the room!! Bella is currently on the window sill peeking out into the backyard and all is calm in the house. Yayyy!! Crossing fingers the progress continues! Thank you sooo much!

P.s. We think Bella looks like a mini Shadow too!

Here’s a Bella pic after we played tonight. Sleepy happy baby!!

 

[Kwik]

Thank you, Kwik! I am happy to report that we’ve had some great progress the last two days!! Bella has come out into the kitchen the last two days for breakfast and dinner which is amazing and she is wanting to be out of the room more and more. She is showing a lot of happy kitten energy! I don’t want to jinx it but no swatting has occurred the last two days and I have been very attentive making sure any staredowns are redirected and I’m not really letting them interact much but they are in the room together sometimes just a couple feet away while I sit down on the floor by them. Shadow especially is showing signs of being more relaxed and will sleep now even while she is in the room!! Bella is currently on the window sill peeking out into the backyard and all is calm in the house. Yayyy!! Crossing fingers the progress continues! Thank you sooo much!

P.s. We think Bella looks like a mini Shadow too!

Here’s a Bella pic after we played tonight. Sleepy happy baby!! View attachment 471414

That's FANTASTIC! Oh I know you are thrilled - now don't you go and get discouraged if little squabbles happen here n there or if Bella steps forward /back to do a little cha cha cha---- progress will keep going on,you're all set for success my dear!

I'm really happy to hear your wonderful progress report- There's so much more to come,keep up the excellent work

She is adorable .... Yeah ,Shadows mini me,lol

 

[iPappy]

L Lynn704 I have a soft spot in my heart for black cats, Bella is absolutely adorable. What a sweet, impish little face she has!

 

[Lynn704]

Thank you, iPappy she has definitely stolen our hearts!

 

[Lynn704]

Thank you, Kwik for your sweet reply and continued support! I really appreciate it! I am very thrilled at the progress indeed!

You are spot on about the cha cha cha. Bella is in the height of her heat cycle tonight so it has been a challenging evening as they were both very restless. Although I’m not looking forward to the vet visit on the 9th, I’ll be glad when her hormones are under control. I’ve never owned a female cat so it’ll be a new experience for me on tending to her post recovery. I’m a little worried she might be upset after the surgery which could make handling difficult, but hopefully it’ll be okay. I’ll post back after to let you know how it went and will be sure to incorporate the towel idea you mentioned.

 

[Kwik]

Thank you, Kwik for your sweet reply and continued support! I really appreciate it! I am very thrilled at the progress indeed!

You are spot on about the cha cha cha. Bella is in the height of her heat cycle tonight so it has been a challenging evening as they were both very restless. Although I’m not looking forward to the vet visit on the 9th, I’ll be glad when her hormones are under control. I’ve never owned a female cat so it’ll be a new experience for me on tending to her post recovery. I’m a little worried she might be upset after the surgery which could make handling difficult, but hopefully it’ll be okay. I’ll post back after to let you know how it went and will be sure to incorporate the towel idea you mentioned.

She'll be fine,you'll be fine handling her- Personally I'm particularly fond of boys but I have 2 girls and they are both sweethearts- moody,like any female of any species( lol) but always sweet despite their moodiness.... boys,what you see is what you get,lol

It's a more invasive surgery than a male but the recovery is fast and they only need to take it easy for a little bit- there's nothing you really need to do except keep her from over doing things that are strenuous ( climbing,jumping) and she'll be just fine.....

 

[Lynn704]

Hi Kwik, we are seven days post surgery for Bella and it’s been a bit of a challenge but she’s healing well and glad it’s behind us. We unfortunately had to change her safe room as it was becoming too unsafe for her post surgery and she had dysphoria for several days. She’s now in an upstairs room that is carpeted and has a windows so she can see outside. I know it’s not ideal for socialization as it’s more quiet and less foot traffic but unfortunately we didn’t have another option. She seems to have acclimated nicely to the larger more comfy space and we’re able to spend a lot more time with her. She has been extremely cuddly and affectionate in the evenings preferring to spend most her time on my or my husband’s lap.

However, today she is showing signs that she’s feeling well enough to come out and scratching at the door (albeit still in a post surgery onesie)into the rest of the house. We’ve had a gate up all week so she could occasionally see Shadow and they have bumped noses but Bella hisses. So far every interaction between them is like back to the beginning with Bella hissing and swatting every time she sees Shadow. I did do a short room swap today and let Shadow explore Bella’s new room. I’ve currently put her back into her new safe room to rest some more and thought I’d see what you might recommend. We also have our grown children coming home next week for holiday and will have new house guests from the 23rd until April 1st but thankfully we won’t need to use the new safe room for our guests. Lots of change which I realize can be stressful so I wasn’t sure how best to handle. Thanks again!!

 

[iPappy]

Hi Kwik, we are seven days post surgery for Bella and it’s been a bit of a challenge but she’s healing well and glad it’s behind us. We unfortunately had to change her safe room as it was becoming too unsafe for her post surgery and she had dysphoria for several days. She’s now in an upstairs room that is carpeted and has a windows so she can see outside. I know it’s not ideal for socialization as it’s more quiet and less foot traffic but unfortunately we didn’t have another option. She seems to have acclimated nicely to the larger more comfy space and we’re able to spend a lot more time with her. She has been extremely cuddly and affectionate in the evenings preferring to spend most her time on my or my husband’s lap.

However, today she is showing signs that she’s feeling well enough to come out and scratching at the door (albeit still in a post surgery onesie)into the rest of the house. We’ve had a gate up all week so she could occasionally see Shadow and they have bumped noses but Bella hisses. So far every interaction between them is like back to the beginning with Bella hissing and swatting every time she sees Shadow. I did do a short room swap today and let Shadow explore Bella’s new room. I’ve currently put her back into her new safe room to rest some more and thought I’d see what you might recommend. We also have our grown children coming home next week for holiday and will have new house guests from the 23rd until April 1st but thankfully we won’t need to use the new safe room for our guests. Lots of change which I realize can be stressful so I wasn’t sure how best to handle. Thanks again!!

I'm going to tag Kwik for you so she sees this message

 

[Lynn704]

I'm going to tag Kwik for you so she sees this message

Thank you!

 

[Kwik]

Thanks iPappy -I did not saw it and sure love to talk with L Lynn704

If it were me I'd just put everything on " pause" while you have your houseguests- it's just a week and that one week may or may not cause alot of interference so play it by ear - continue your routine in the room with Bella so YOU are her constant. She has not yet established her new safe room as her territory so if she's frightened by the strangers in the house she'll be very frightened and it doesn't need to happen- if she was out n about & frightened and had her old room she'd run back in and feel secure- leave her to her room,visit her and resume normal daily routines after they are gone ( thsts my 2,cents)

When I said " play it by ear" I'm referring to the gate- you are going to have to see how she does with the gate up and strangers going by- if it seems too stressful for her as people walk by or even them talking and stuff then just close the door so she'll feel safe. She and Shadow can pick up where they left off after April 1st- Shadow is fine with people?

 

[Lynn704]

Hi Kwik and thank you so much for the continued advice! I will plan to keep her in the new safe room and allow some gate time to see how she does and if she seems stressed I will close the door. I haven’t done any introductions to anyone new so it’ll probably be a bit stressful for her. This plan will also give her the recommended full two weeks of healing time.

Shadow does okay with visitors. He doesn’t really engage but will stay in the room and watch people from his cat tower.

Thanks again!

 

[Kwik]

Hi Kwik and thank you so much for the continued advice! I will plan to keep her in the new safe room and allow some gate time to see how she does and if she seems stressed I will close the door. I haven’t done any introductions to anyone new so it’ll probably be a bit stressful for her. This plan will also give her the recommended full two weeks of healing time.

Shadow does okay with visitors. He doesn’t really engage but will stay in the room and watch people from his cat tower.

Thanks again!

Of course,my pleasure- anytime

We all don't like setbacks but some things simply cannot be avoided so we just have to be patient,make things as stress free for our little kitties as best as we possibly can and give them whatever time they need to get back in the groove,lol

I'm not looking forward to going for surgery and people having to care for my cats - it'll be a big thing for my Timmy but after all is said and done he'll get through it and we will get back to our normal

 

[Lynn704]

Of course,my pleasure- anytime

We all don't like setbacks but some things simply cannot be avoided so we just have to be patient,make things as stress free for our little kitties as best as we possibly can and give them whatever time they need to get back in the groove,lol

I'm not looking forward to going for surgery and people having to care for my cats - it'll be a big thing for my Timmy but after all is said and done he'll get through it and we will get back to our normal

Of course,my pleasure- anytime

We all don't like setbacks but some things simply cannot be avoided so we just have to be patient,make things as stress free for our little kitties as best as we possibly can and give them whatever time they need to get back in the groove,lol

I'm not looking forward to going for surgery and people having to care for my cats - it'll be a big thing for my Timmy but after all is said and done he'll get through it and we will get back to our normal

So true - things seem to somehow work out with time. Bella is playing happily in her new safe room and feeling much better like her old playful self today.

I’m sorry to hear you will be having surgery soon and I hope it goes well and that you have a quick recovery! Your kitties will be so happy when you’re back home and recovering that they will shower you with kitty hugs. I always worry about leaving Shadow with a cat sitter, too, but I was so surprised when the cat sitter reported that he was quite affectionate toward her while I was gone.

I’m sending healing thoughts your way!

 

[Kwik]

So true - things seem to somehow work out with time. Bella is playing happily in her new safe room and feeling much better like her old playful self today.

I’m sorry to hear you will be having surgery soon and I hope it goes well and that you have a quick recovery! Your kitties will be so happy when you’re back home and recovering that they will shower you with kitty hugs. I always worry about leaving Shadow with a cat sitter, too, but I was so surprised when the cat sitter reported that he was quite affectionate toward her while I was gone.

I’m sending healing thoughts your way!

Il be happy if Timmy eats wet food while I'm away,everyone else is fine with people -Timmy ( almost 8yrs old now) was a rogue outdoor feral until 9 mos ago so no doubt he'll hide when anyone comes in..... hes the only one I worry about because hes my little shadow-does not want to be seen by anyone other than me( my special boy)

 

[Lynn704]

Il be happy if Timmy eats wet food while I'm away,everyone else is fine with people -Timmy ( almost 8yrs old now) was a rogue outdoor feral until 9 mos ago so no doubt he'll hide when anyone comes in..... hes the only one I worry about because hes my little shadow-does not want to be seen by anyone other than me( my special boy)

Aww, Timmy sounds like such a sweetheart! I”m not sure if you’ve tried a cat camera but when I was really worried about leaving Shadow alone, we hooked up a small camera in the main family room and it has an option for me to be able to speak to him through an app on my phone. I call him a few times a day when we’re out of town and just watch him and if he’s out I’ll talk to him. I feel a bit better being able to see him. We also use a camera in Bella's room so I can keep an eye on her when I’m out of the house.

I hope everything goes well! Take care!

 

[Lynn704]

Hello, I thought I’d post an update and see if anyone has any ideas. Little Bella fully recovered and since Easter we’ve allowed her to roam the house during the day. She is showing more confidence each week and has stopped hiding under rugs or beds. What I’m noticing is that her and Shadow seem to sometimes play but then Bella still hisses daily and will swat at Shadow especially in areas like hallways, or more confined spaces. Bella has definitely expanded her territory and seems to have laid claim to our entire upstairs and about half of downstairs. When Shadow enters those areas, it gets more tense. There seems to be some ongoing battles over the family room territory with favorite chairs, blankets and sofa. No biting, yowling or fur flying, and so far no one has gotten hurt and I keep nails trimmed. Shadow just runs away when it happens or jumps up to a higher vertical space but he doesn’t hide either. I tried mixing scents and using the same brush, and a few weeks ago I rubbed a blanket over Shadow. When I placed the blanket in Bella’s safe room chair, she peed on it which is the only time she’s ever had an accident. I do play daily with them and that’s fine until they get too close and Bella will hiss. Not sure if I should go back to separating them with gates again until all signs of hissing stop or if we should just stay the course and let them adjust. We are going on five months. I considered putting Bella in another room again and letting Shadow explore her safe room again but I’m worried about Bella rebelling with another urine accident. Thank you for any thoughts.

 

[di and bob]

She smelled him in that blanket and marked it as her own. No mistake. There is nothing wrong with hissing and swatting. That is totally normal , especially for a female, who live to teach manners and set limits. I think everything is going great! Let them work it out, it will happen, good work!

 

[Lynn704]

Thanks so much, Di and Bob! I will continue with letting them interact while keeping an eye to make sure it doesn’t escalate into a full fight. It is quite interesting to see this little queen take over her kingdom - lol! Thanks again for the reassurance that I’m on the right track.