Hi, I'm struggling with it newest addition and I can use some advice before things get out of hand.
First an explanation behind the current cat family: we have two boys; one a super loving outdoor rescue named Guppy(2yrs 8mo), and the other a 5mo kitten named Comet. These two are hams and have bonded swimmingly since October. They cuddle together, bath each other, the whole nine yards. You may not believe me but Guppy is somewhat special: he's not territorial, is super chummy, and has never hissed once during our entire time together. He's always purring, so much so that our vet has to struggle to get him to stop so she can get a good listen to his heart. Comet's still young but he too hasn't been prone to hissing, doing so only once when my husband tried to retrieve a potato chip that the little rascal stole right out of his hand.
Overall I pride myself with how nice and social they are.
And now an explanation of the new addition, what's been going on, and why exactly this is very stressful; 3 days ago my husband and I prepared the bathroom for our new arrival. Her name is Ginger, she's a 7 year old fixed female, she (regrettably) has been fully declawed. Ginger was my mom's cat, who has unfortunately passed away very recently, which is why we are trying to integrate her into our family. But she is making it extremely hard on us.
She is very "deffensive"... I would call it aggressive but I don't think that's what it is 100%. When we go and visit her in the bathroom, for the most part she's all purs and wanting pets. Unlike my boys, but similar to a lot of other cats, we have to be a little bit wary of how we pet her; I know she's endured a little bit of touch trauma because my mom was mentally ill, especially near the end, and I know that my mother on more than one occasion tried to brush Ginger a little too hard (my sister lived with and took care of my mom, so anytime is happened she quickly rescued Ginger.) Petting her is not the issue though, I know how to approach skittish cats, and she is very willing to come to you for attention. The problem is she seems to be having almost bipolar levels of aggressive behavior, randomly, and seemingly at nothing. We have a gate that covers the door to the bathroom with a 2-foot radius, so the boys really can't get near the door. However she is well aware that there are other cats in the house. she's heard them meow and has obviously smelled them. When she is left alone (she's not being left alone for long, it's or only bathroom after all) We will sometimes hear her start growling, yowling, and hissing at presumably nothing since the boys will be on the other side of the house and my husband and I aren't making a sound. When we are with her, she will also do this, and in these times it is very clear that it doesn't seem to have a trigger, and that she is literally reacting to non stimuli randomly. It's very unsettling, especially since she'll immediately turn around looking for pets, purring. If the boys were constantly pawing at the door or trying to get in to see what we got in the bathroom, I would understand her defensive Behavior, but they are literally not capable of getting that close to the door and even if they could I just know that they wouldn't be acting aggressive towards her.
I know that the key is patience and slow introductions. If I wasn't concerned for another reason, then I wouldn't even be bothering with this forum. My absolute biggest issue is that I think I heard Guppy hiss at Comet this morning. I'm not sure, but he's never done that. I love how my boys behave, my biggest fear is that her overly defensive behavior right now will influence them to become more aggressive and less loving than they are now. I don't want them to learn how to act like her, and I fear that she's will not give them a fair chance. We're nowhere near introductions but she's not even curious about them, she's just on extreme and unprovoked level of defense.
Currently my husband and I are taking turns going in there to give her love and play with her throughout the day. We have a feliway multi-cat pheromone diffuser going in the bathroom. On occasion I'll try to play some soothing music for her she try to calm her down (not saying there's any science to that, but it helped calm Comet down when he was very sick as a kitten) but I don't play it all the time. I feel I've provided a very nice safe space for her, with the only issue being that the outlet in the bathroom is connected to one of the light switches so one of the lights has to be on at all times in order for it to disperse.
Asking my sister to take care of her is not an option, because I do believe the reason she's like this is partially because of my sister's cat. Her cat is now 16, but she had never been properly socialized and is very territorial. My sister also has three large dogs, and my sister's cat is passive aggressive towards them all. She's okay with dogs, she's not good with kids, and she's not good with cats and the only reason Ginger was forced to live with her is because my sister needed to take care of my mom and Ginger made my mom happy. My sister's cat is not a bad cat, but I think her poorly socialized and territorial Behavior is why Ginger is so defensive.
I feel bad for Ginger, we both lost our mom, but I'm really fearful that her bad behavior will not get better and that it will ultimately corrupt my boys sweet and social behavior.
I guess I'm just looking for a little advice, or even just well wishes, because I'm typically very good with cats but I am just feeling a little defeated at the moment.
Thanks
First an explanation behind the current cat family: we have two boys; one a super loving outdoor rescue named Guppy(2yrs 8mo), and the other a 5mo kitten named Comet. These two are hams and have bonded swimmingly since October. They cuddle together, bath each other, the whole nine yards. You may not believe me but Guppy is somewhat special: he's not territorial, is super chummy, and has never hissed once during our entire time together. He's always purring, so much so that our vet has to struggle to get him to stop so she can get a good listen to his heart. Comet's still young but he too hasn't been prone to hissing, doing so only once when my husband tried to retrieve a potato chip that the little rascal stole right out of his hand.
Overall I pride myself with how nice and social they are.
And now an explanation of the new addition, what's been going on, and why exactly this is very stressful; 3 days ago my husband and I prepared the bathroom for our new arrival. Her name is Ginger, she's a 7 year old fixed female, she (regrettably) has been fully declawed. Ginger was my mom's cat, who has unfortunately passed away very recently, which is why we are trying to integrate her into our family. But she is making it extremely hard on us.
She is very "deffensive"... I would call it aggressive but I don't think that's what it is 100%. When we go and visit her in the bathroom, for the most part she's all purs and wanting pets. Unlike my boys, but similar to a lot of other cats, we have to be a little bit wary of how we pet her; I know she's endured a little bit of touch trauma because my mom was mentally ill, especially near the end, and I know that my mother on more than one occasion tried to brush Ginger a little too hard (my sister lived with and took care of my mom, so anytime is happened she quickly rescued Ginger.) Petting her is not the issue though, I know how to approach skittish cats, and she is very willing to come to you for attention. The problem is she seems to be having almost bipolar levels of aggressive behavior, randomly, and seemingly at nothing. We have a gate that covers the door to the bathroom with a 2-foot radius, so the boys really can't get near the door. However she is well aware that there are other cats in the house. she's heard them meow and has obviously smelled them. When she is left alone (she's not being left alone for long, it's or only bathroom after all) We will sometimes hear her start growling, yowling, and hissing at presumably nothing since the boys will be on the other side of the house and my husband and I aren't making a sound. When we are with her, she will also do this, and in these times it is very clear that it doesn't seem to have a trigger, and that she is literally reacting to non stimuli randomly. It's very unsettling, especially since she'll immediately turn around looking for pets, purring. If the boys were constantly pawing at the door or trying to get in to see what we got in the bathroom, I would understand her defensive Behavior, but they are literally not capable of getting that close to the door and even if they could I just know that they wouldn't be acting aggressive towards her.
I know that the key is patience and slow introductions. If I wasn't concerned for another reason, then I wouldn't even be bothering with this forum. My absolute biggest issue is that I think I heard Guppy hiss at Comet this morning. I'm not sure, but he's never done that. I love how my boys behave, my biggest fear is that her overly defensive behavior right now will influence them to become more aggressive and less loving than they are now. I don't want them to learn how to act like her, and I fear that she's will not give them a fair chance. We're nowhere near introductions but she's not even curious about them, she's just on extreme and unprovoked level of defense.
Currently my husband and I are taking turns going in there to give her love and play with her throughout the day. We have a feliway multi-cat pheromone diffuser going in the bathroom. On occasion I'll try to play some soothing music for her she try to calm her down (not saying there's any science to that, but it helped calm Comet down when he was very sick as a kitten) but I don't play it all the time. I feel I've provided a very nice safe space for her, with the only issue being that the outlet in the bathroom is connected to one of the light switches so one of the lights has to be on at all times in order for it to disperse.
Asking my sister to take care of her is not an option, because I do believe the reason she's like this is partially because of my sister's cat. Her cat is now 16, but she had never been properly socialized and is very territorial. My sister also has three large dogs, and my sister's cat is passive aggressive towards them all. She's okay with dogs, she's not good with kids, and she's not good with cats and the only reason Ginger was forced to live with her is because my sister needed to take care of my mom and Ginger made my mom happy. My sister's cat is not a bad cat, but I think her poorly socialized and territorial Behavior is why Ginger is so defensive.
I feel bad for Ginger, we both lost our mom, but I'm really fearful that her bad behavior will not get better and that it will ultimately corrupt my boys sweet and social behavior.
I guess I'm just looking for a little advice, or even just well wishes, because I'm typically very good with cats but I am just feeling a little defeated at the moment.
Thanks
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